Gifts of the Heart
by Emerald Ryuu Feather
Summary: Zevran sees his true feelings for Varhen, a Dalish hunter turned Warden. Varhen sees his.  This romance sprouts in a deadly war, what will happen to it? Will our deadly pair survive the Blight? Or will everything burn in chaos?Yaoi, rated for safety.
1. A Gift From The Past

A/N: Look this is just another, Tamlen finding them and you kill him and yada, yada. So I'll just throw this into the mix! Unlike others I'm going to follow the story line a little better! Yay! Hope you review!

Chapter one: A Gift From the Past.

I quickly got out of my tent, "Alistair! Do you feel that?" Varhen was scared and few times had any of the group seen him scared, Alistair was standing straight, witch surprised every one because he had been sleeping less than a minute ago.

"Yes, this may sound stupid but it felt like the Arch Demon is aware of us, like… like he saw us!" Alistair's rubbish would have been laughed at by every one had Varhen not looked so spooked. The nod from the Dalish hunter only proved that Alistair was right. Five Shrieks jumped from the dirt surrounding the camp quickly. Blades, bows, and staffs were quickly used killing the Shrieks quickly.

"Well that was… Tamlen?" Varhen became quite and still, before running to the back of the camp. A tortured Shriek was talking and it wad Tamlen, 'Dear creators! Why, Tamlen?' "Tamlen, is it you?" Hope was evident in Varhen's voice every one else was worried 'Did Varhen know this creature? Why was he on the brink of tears?'

"No, not… me… Lethallin" Tamlen sounded raspy and unfocused "I did not…. Want… to end like this…. Forgive…. Lethallin!" Tamlens eyes faded from torched to insanity as he finished talking to Varhen he attacked.

"No, Tamlen I can help you!" Varhen dogged under him spinning to face Tamlen, when there was no answer he drew his dagger 'This is no longer Tamlen' moving as a blur his blade stabbed Tamlen in the heart, a gargle escaped the shriek. Varhen laid the motionless body down on the grass, as every one rushed up to him.

"Are you alright?" Wynne asked putting a hand on my shoulder.

"No. I should have done something, like nock him out or….. I killed him!" the panic and pain splayed out on his face, his heart raced "We were brothers, I killed him…. Twice. I've killed him twice…" Varhen chocked on tears, shaking violently guilt clouding his mind.

"Let him be alone" Leliana said to Wynne leading the mage to the fire, looking at Alistair she nodded, and mouthed 'Talk to him!' Alistair walked up to him putting a hand on his shoulder.

"You did him a favor, Varhen. He was suffering, that's what the taint does, it kills you or it turns you into a monster. Did you know this one? I heard you call a name." Alistair knelled next to his distraught brother. Varhen nodded.

"His name was Tamlen. I told you about him, did I not?" Varhen looked at his closest friend, smiling through his tears. Alistair's eyes widened.

"Oh, I'm so sorry; I hope I didn't offend you. You talk about him vary little, but yes you did talk about him with me. You were close friends, brothers in all but blood, right?" Alistair looked at him offering a small smile.

Varhen smiled at that looking at Alistair "Yes we were close, but closer than brothers. We… we were lovers. Alistair I hope that does not ruin your image of me as a friend and fellow Warden." Varhen looked at the corps of Tamlen "Will you help me bury him?" Varhen whispered, wondering when the yells would start.

"Sure, Varhen, as long as you don't talk about who you bed, I don't care." Alistair patted Varhen on the shoulder. "Let's give him a proper grave, ok? How does six feet sound?" Alistair moved to the far back of the camp near an outcrop of rock. Varhen nodded, getting a shovel he dug three feet then, they switched. When they were done Alistair lowered Tamlens body into his gave, giving Varhen his dagger back. "I'll finish up here ok; when the hole is filled I'll come get you so you can plan your tree." Alistair smiled and so did Varhen, as he moved away to go and sit by the fire.

Zevran watched as Varhen moved away from Alistair. "You know if you are going to talk to him, just go and do it already." Alistair murmured, well aware the assassin had been watching them. "He needs friends right now, and though I hate you for it he sees you as one." Alistair continued filling in the grave.

"What? No, accusations that I'll slit his thought or poison him?" Zevran asked a bit of surprise on the edge of his voice, Alistair sighed he stopped shoveling.

"Look, he trusts you then fine. If that trust is misplaced I will be there to try to stop the worst. Varhen trusts you so for now I will trust you, but if you hurt him I'll kill you." Alistair turned to where Zevran stood concealed in shadow "That is a vow, Zevran. You hurt him you hurt me, I'll hurt you. Now if you don't mind I have to get this dirt back where it was a few minutes ago." Alistair's vow unsettled Zevran 'Will he truly keep that vow?' Zevran looked at the Templar turned Grey Warden. 'Yes, to protect, Varhen, he would kill him self.' Zevran concluded as he looked at the lone from sitting by the camp fire 'Would I do the same for, Varhen, as well? Yes. Varhen is my heart. I would kill all who were a threat.'

A/N: Look I got board with my other stories and decided I would try another! Any way, please review!


	2. Speak To Me

A/N: Look I'm not the most emotionally stable person right now, sorry if this story takes a painful twist…. Time to change the category… please leave a review, when you leave, I don't care if it's a flame it just goes to show that you need to look at my Author's note before reading. Enjoy.

Gifts of the Heart: Speak to Me.

(Varhen's pov)

I walked away from Alistair, walking over to the fire to be alone. "Tamlen, I'm so sorry…" I mumbled as I drew my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I just wanted to curl up and die! 'He asked I forgive? Forgive what? My killing him twice? Him attacking me? Oh, Tamlen! I'm so, so sorry!' I thought, I covered my face with my hands, and started to cry.

"Hello Varhen. You know that look of pain just doesn't look right on you. Talk with me about it?" Zev had just appeared out of now where to crouch down by me 'how the hell does he do that? Wow he looks sexy in the fire light. Wait! What the hell am I thinking?' I gave him a sheepish smile.

"Sure, Zev, I might as well." I dropped my eyes "You see…I was… in love with Tamlen, the Shriek I killed…"

A/N: HAHA! Cliffy for you! Any way hope you review, and I Will have them "love" each other soon!


	3. Confessions

A/N: Now, let's see how Zev takes the news! In this they become close friends they have already taken care of Redcliff's problems, the Dalish, and the circle (no blood magic was used to save Conner!) and are heading to Haven to find the ashes of Andraste. They (Zev and Varhen) are close friends but Varhen (Var-en) never slept with him… until now! *evil laugh* Please R&R! Any and All Dragon Age Characters, origin stories, Ect. Belong to BioWare and EA games, not me. I only own this plot. There is intense swearing; witch is why I had to switch the rating, to be safe…

'blah' = thought

"blah" = talking

(Earlier in Gifts of the Heart)

'I dropped my eyes "You see…I was… in love with Tamlen, the Shriek I killed…"'

Chapter 3: Gifts of the Heart: Confessions

(Varhen's POV)

"Well, we both loved each other… before all of this happened any way…" I said blushing looking at the, now very interesting dirt and grass covering the ground "I... I-I'm sorry if…" I stopped talking, I was scared Zevran was a close friend and the recent thoughts he had been having suggested maybe more...Zevran… He was… laughing? 'At me! What the hell can he be laughing at? I just said I lean toward the male body, and he's laughing!''

"My dear Warden… You see the Crows require a certain… Open mindedness in their recruits… And it seems you are open minded as well." He chuckled at me again, causing me to blush and look down after snagging a quick glance up at him 'By the gods he is so beautiful… oh fuck, not this again! The way his hair catches the fire light wonderfully making it look like golden whet fields catching fire… No don't think!'

"Dear Warden? Are you alright?" 'Oh fuck I must have spaced out!' My eyes widened but I kept my head down, the lack of response caused him to take action. He lifted my chin up, so I was looking at him. 'Oh, no, please, no more thoughts…" "You went silent, are you alright, Varhen?" Zevran's eyes searched mine; I swore I saw concern in their depths.

"I-I'm fine, it just… W-welll…." I was fumbling… 'Oh shit! My cheeks must be red by now….'

"Would you like to talk about this later? I understand if you are tired." I quickly said, hoping to get the image of: Idiot-Warden out of his head. 'He probably thinks I'm an idiot! Gah, the gods are sadistic ass holes!'

"My Warden, I would not have asked to talk if I did not want to listen, but if you wish we can talk later" He gave me a wink and his signature grin as he added "Possibly in privet?" Chuckling he moved to leave.

"Wait! I… um" I felt heat rise to my cheeks again… 'I what? I should just crawl into a hole! Why not save me the pain… oh right the damn blight…. I forgot about that…'

"Yes?" Zevran turned slightly too where he was looking at me but wasn't wholly facing me "What is it you desire?" He looked at me intently, waiting, as my cheeks turned a darker shade of pink…'I could tell you my desire… STOP THINKING' My face was probably red now…

"I will, tell you all the tale, its just most people out side the clan looked down on me for loving another man…" I looked down tears tearing at my eyes again 'But Tamlen was so much more, wasn't he? You loved him, then left him to die… like a forgotten toy' I felt my shoulders slump, my breath becoming uneven again, I must look utterly defeated… 'Deep breaths, deep breaths…' I told my self, I need to pull my self together. I had one hand covering my face the other resting on my pulled up knees.

I felt hands on my shoulders in an almost awkward comforting gesture, I could fell others standing near by. I looked up and Wynne, was the one knelling beside me. I was surprised to fell the comforting calm of healing magic wash over me, it was actually really pleasant.

Looking around Morrigan, Sten, Leliana, Zevran, and Alistair were all standing around the fire, around me. I couldn't help but smile back at them, 'They all care… these… these are true friends, I'll treasure them till the day I die.'

"You set aside time, for us when you could have just told us you didn't have time for such mundane tasks" Leliana said smiling at me "You helped each of us in some way over the course of this journey, You helped me with Marjolaine, Alistair with Goldanna, Morrigan with her mother, Sten with his sword and Wynne with Aneirin. You even spared Zevran's life when you could have just killed him" Leliana stopped and nodded at Wynne who picked up the speech.

"You've been their for us in hard times, and none of us has a doubt that if you had the choice you wound never change what you did for us on this journey." She stopped giving my shoulders a gentle squeeze she nodded at Alistair who smiling continued.

"Even when you could have shrugged us off, even when you could have asked something in return you just helped never asking but helping. You acted like a true leader" he stopped giving my his lop sided smile that looked so adorable on him "So we think the only way to possibly repay you for the help would be to help you with your love life, well non-existence of one, anyway." Every one including me gave him a bewildered look before bursting into laughter well every one except Sten who kept his straight face.

"That's not what you were supposed to say. You are the one who organized this, so you should at least play the proper part, no?" Zevran murmured while he chuckled giving a grin that said he truly didn't mean what he meant.

"So you all planed this while I was sitting here making a fool of my self?" I said with a smile.

"You a fool? Parish the thought!" Alistair gasped playing the drama queen, yet again. I shook my head smiling it just felt better to have them near by trying to help.

"You are such a drama queen, fool." Morrigan said rolling her eyes at Alistair's antics. Only I knew it was her own little way of trying to hint at her attraction to him. 'How can Alistair not know? *chuckle* I can think of a few reasons Morrigan. '

"I don't care what you think, Morrigan." Alistair glared at her

"And I am the one with love life issues?" I joked at them, half expecting a torrent of curses and insults to be flung between the two at any moment.

"YES!" Morrigan and Alistair loudly hissed at the same time, while whipping their heads my way sending glares at each other, 'Creepy..' was the only word I could think of….

"Alright then, would you like to talk about it? Well Tamlen I mean?" Alistair said giving up and just choosing to plop himself down by me, instead of fighting with Morrigan.

"Well!" I said clapping my hands together "Any one who is queasy about guys being together should probably just retire for the night." I said looking around, giving Sten the chance to leave, with a relieved look he retired to his tent.

As expected Alistair just sat there by me waiting. Zev looked at where the 'prince' had sat, looking pouty before settling down next to him. Wynne got a pink tinge to her cheeks but sat next to me any way. Leliana smiled before sitting down across the, now low, fire from me. Morrigan sent Alistair one more look some where between a glare and a glance, before sitting next to Leliana.

I rolled my eyes at their antics "Well if you two are done flirting" Alistair and Morrigan went bright red and gave shouts of indignation"Then I can begin to tell my tale" Leliana grinned at the choice of words "As you all know I was and still am a Dalish elf. We usually live in tight kite groups called clans, Growing up I was alone quite a lot because my father's past. He was Keeper to another clan… he also thought that maybe if we tried to understand She-humans we may not fight each other so much until he meet my mother who was a hunter, the Elders didn't approve of the match" I looked around hoping this wasn't boring them, they actually seemed interested.

" So they continued their meetings in secret, one of the times they were alone, bandits attacked and killed father, mother escaped and stayed alive long enough to have me, but with out father she was… lost, I guess, would be the proper term, one day she just wandered into the forest, and never came back. That's about all I know about my father and mother besides the fact that I look so much like them." I said shrugging, it made a small pang form in my chest from the fact I never actually had a chance to get to know either of them.

"So, you never knew your parents?" Alistair said, a small sad frown forming on his face.

"How similar some of our pasts are, yes?" Leliana said giving me a small reassuring smile.

"It seems so..." Zevran murmured, looking at me with some thing, I couldn't identify, it disappeared as soon as it appeared, offering a smile instead "Please continue?"

"When I was growing up there was only one person who actually knew what it was like to belong, yet feel alone. Tamlen was my first and closest friend for a while, he even got me to open my shell and peek out to the world, as some might say. That's how I made friends with Merril, and Fenarel" I stopped to smile at the images of my friend that swam past my minds eye "One day while we were out hunting we encountered Shems…" My cheeks went red "Sorry, humans in the forest. They said they were running from a demon they found in a ruin…" I stopped, thinking, 'Why didn't I just walk away and get the Keeper?' Wynne put a hand on my shoulder giving a small squeeze. I smiled at them though I was saddened again.

"May I ask what a shem is? Or at least what it means?" Wynne asked looking rather interested, I gave her a small smile.

"Of course, although you may be offended" I glanced down "Shemlen or Shem, is the name the ancient elves, which the clans believe were immortal, gave humans, it means quick-lings." Wynne gave me a smile and thanks before motioning for me to continue my tale.

"Tamlen and I knew the area well, and had never heard of ruins in the area, caves yes but not ruins. We didn't believe them until they handed Tamlen a small stone covered in written elvish. They claimed the ruin was to the west and they ran when we told them to leave the Dalish alone. We went to the ruin and only encountered walking corpses, two wolves, and a bear that was affected by the taint. The room that held the bear also held an old mirror that Tamlen touched… I blacked out and that's how Duncan found me, out side the cave, alone. When I woke up back at camp, I was greeted by Fenarel, who said no one knew where Tamlen was… The only reason we had been so hostile toward the humans we found was because we had just started to fool around…" I stopped my cheeks becoming bright red, I looked around waiting for any question, and of course Leliana chose the most embarrassing one she could think of.

"Are you still a virgin?" She asked blushing. I buried my head in my knees, going red too…

"Yes… I may have dabbled in dating, but I never went that far…" I said with my head still resting on my knees. I felt how warm, my cheeks were, 'why, Leliana, why!'

"So you are pure? I never thought some one as lovely as you would still be a virgin." Zevran purred at me 'Why the hell does he do that to me, the only one he _purrs_ at is _me_, why?' I lifted my head and gave him a small glance he was still grinning… 'The cheeky bastard.'

"No. I will never be pure the taint of being a grey warden is still there, you know." I looked into the fire 'What if I never saw the mirror? What if I had pulled him away?' I shook my head offering a smile before continuing.

"It turned out that the mirror had tainted me. I traveled back to the cave with Merrill and Fenarel to find Tamlen. Along the way to the caves we noticed that it was too quite, as if what ever was in the cave had spread out to the forest." I closed my eyes remembering Tamlen comment on the hostile feel in the cave. I opened my eyes before more…disturbing thoughts could appear "We went to the cave and encountered Darkspawn" I looked at Alistair the realization that dawned on his face was almost funny.

"So that why you encountered Darspawn before you were officially a Warden… I'm sorry it happened that way." Alistair murmured, giving me a look that just screamed: I'm sorry for it even if it's not my fault. I couldn't help but smile.

"It's not your fault, Alistair. I know you wish you could have gone with Duncan and maybe you could have helped, but it is not so." I smiled at him giving his shoulder a squeeze, he gave me a grin, nodding for me to continue.

"We search the entire ruin; I almost gave up hope, when we reached the room that held the old mirror someone was standing in front of the accursed thing. My hopes soared, but when I looked closer I knew it wasn't Tamlen. When Duncan turned he was surprised to see me alive. He told us the mirror was tainted and had caused all of this, he also told us we wouldn't find Tamlen. We went back to the camp, the clan was leaving, the humans Tamlen and I found had roused a near by village agents us even if we hurt no one. Duncan revealed that if I was to live I had to become a Grey Warden and that meant I had to leave my clan. Well that's how I became a Warden! I got dragged to the battle front, and went though the Joining. Loghain acting like the bastard he is, retreated instead of flanking the Darkspawn hoard leavening us all to die, at the hands of those monsters, even the king his son-in-law" I finally finished my tale, resting my head on my crossed arms that in turn rested on my pulled up knees "It is late, I'm going to my tent, good night to you all." I said standing up, then bowing.

I went to my tent lying down on my bed roll, a dream redden sleep soon claiming me.

A/N: Hope you review! ^^ Hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next chapter will explain what the dreams are. Thank you my faithful readers! ^^ (And hopefully reviewers?)


	4. Dreams

A/N: Ok! Now I get to tell you about Varhen's dreams! Wonderful. As you all will find out, Varhen may be mature for his age of 19 (almost 20) but he still has teen problems! ^^ Enjoy, cause I own nothing but my thoughts and this plot! Varhen's name when said sounds like Varen. Just saying!

'blah' = thoughts

"blah" = talk

_Blah_ = dream

Before in 'Gifts of the Heart':

'I went to my tent lying down on my bed roll, a dream redden sleep soon claiming me.'

Chapter 4: Gifts of the Heart: Dreams

_I was laying in the middle an open meadow; I immediately know where I am, even with out opening my eyes. This is the meadow me and Tamlen first talked about how we felt for one another… but it was broad day light, we only ever came out here in the dead of night, when the stars turned the green grass silver, and the trees into jeweled beauties. Tamlen wasn't here… why? I whimpered shifting to lie on my side, but arms wrapped around my waist prevented action, my eyes few open in an instant, searching for who or what held me._

"_Calm my Varhen, calm." The accented voice immediately calmed me. I smiled it was Zevran, my Zevran. I turned in his arms looking up at the smiling man 'I hate being small… Why do I have to be short!' I pouted slightly; even if we were both elves he was taller than me! He gave me his I know what your thinking look before leaning down to peck my lips._

"_You are such an, ah! Z-zev..." Before I could finish my neck was attacked by a skilled mouth, I couldn't help the small gasps and mewls he was drawing from me, it was just too good "Ah! Z-zev… sto-nnn! Zev, please…" I murmured between moans and gasp squirming in his grasps. I felt a hand run down my chest… _

"_Varhen…"_

(End of dream)

"Varhen, its time to wake up." A hand shook my shoulder, my eyes shot open, I gabbed the person and rolled them onto their back and I had a dagger to the person's throat. I soon realized it was Zevran. My dream came flooding back, my eyes widened, but I was stuck I couldn't move. My eyes were wide with panic and my face was tinged pink with embarrassment but I couldn't move. My dagger was pressed to the skin of his neck yet he was just laying there like it was no problem, like he was used to have someone hovering over him while straddling his lower stomach with a dagger pressed to his throat.

"I'm so sorry!" I said finally snapping out of my trance, moving away quickly, tripping over myself and collapsing onto his chest with a small "Oof" on my account. My dagger clattered on the ground near by. My hands were pressed to his chest, my face was pressed agents his shoulder. I was still straddling his lap… heat went up to my cheeks. "Sorry, you scared me, I was… um… sorry for falling on you." I said looking away after moving away. I was still in his lap 'if I move my hips just right… no! He is a friend, not a lover!' I blushed looking to the left where my dagger had landed.

"It's not a problem. I'm used to such surprises. It seems your morning is starting eventful, no?" He looked at me, eyes trailing up and down my body… I realized I had removed my shirt after I went to bed last night. I quickly scrambled back, to sit on the ground near my bed roll looking for my shirt on my hands and knees.

"Where the hell did I put it?" I mumbled, I froze when his hand was on my lower back, I jumped slightly, but really it felt nice to feel some one touch my skin. My mind blanked, it was nice… 'NO! Zev is a friend… I can't ask that.'

"Are you alright Var?" I stiffened at the nick name most of the others used, Zev usually called me My dear Warden…

"Y-yes, Zev?" I said still on my hands and knees I kept my head down, I didn't need to look up, if I did I'd see Zev, that would make things worse… much worse.

"Are you alright, you seem… flustered." His hand moved up my back to my shoulder, I couldn't help the small gasp that escaped me lips. My eyes widened and my cheeks reddened. "For give me if I'm wrong, but did you just gasp?" Zevran said his grin evident in his voice, as he ran his hand down my spine stopping just above my pants line.

"Z-zev… please… just….I can't" I sighed sitting back and pulling my knees up wrapping my arms around my legs. I dropped my head onto them, my pitch black hair falling from behind my ears hiding my face.

I had long black hair reaching just past my hips, that high-lighted my silver eyes and pale skin. My facial features weren't sharp like most guys or to soft like a girl, you could tell I was a guy, but my face still held a softness to it. I hated it when I was younger because I was made fun of constantly… which also lead to a brawl Tamlen took the blame for, saving my hide. That's why I was with Tamlen when he went hunting, to keep him out of trouble as the Keeper had said.

"Forgive me, my Warden, I acte-"He began but I cut him off lifting my head looking at him from under a curtain of black hair offering a smile.

"No, you did nothing wrong, it's me…" I rested my chin atop my knees "I just, I've never reacted in such a way to any one… not even Tamlen." I turned my head so my cheek was resting on the deer hide pants, I used as night clothes, and I was looking away from Zevran.

"So you never felt the desire for their touch?" Zev asked, I wasn't surprised when he moved closer but kept a little distance. I blushed after turning my head toward him.

"No, at least… not that much, I mean you barely touched my lower back and…" My cheeks went bright red; my eyes looked away toward the floor. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his lips tilt up at the corners almost in a smile. I was awe-struck; his lips just demanded my attention. I blushed looking up to his eyes; the golden honey color of them almost calmed my panic and confusion.

"My dear Warden, exactly how old are you if I may ask?" His lips still twitched up a fraction, I blinked in surprise before answering.

"Nineteen close to twenty…" I answered blushing, casting my eyes down "May I ask the same of you?"

"Twenty two, close to twenty three… although The Crows added a few mental years." He said giving a dark chuckle that sent tingles down my back.

"I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm sorry." I said finally easing up enough to sit with my legs crossed.

"It is no problem. As I said before I am used to such things." Zevran waved my apology away.

"What time is it?" I tried to relax but I felt like I had just struck Zev with something that cut deeper then skin.

"Almost nine am, why?" the answer was calm, but I could tell he was uncomfortable, and to think I caused it made me sad, why I had no idea if he was a friend I would be upset, but not sad.

"Wow, I slept in… Wait, What!" I jumped across the bed roll grabbing my boots when a hand grabbed my arm.

"Relax; every one decided you needed some rest after yesterday. When you went to bed you seemed exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I came to get you up so you could eat." Zevran pulled away but his touch lingered there still giving off warmth. I smiled at him, 'No wonder I was allowed to sleep in this late'I thought.

"Thanks, Zev. Hey if you need to talk to any one about what you did with the Crows I'm here for you." I murmured as sat back on my knees I looked over to him offering a smile. 'I don't know why, Zev, but you bring out the best in me. I can't help but smile when you're around.'

"Are you truly willing to listen to me about killing people?" He asked in a tone edged in surprise and something else…

"If you need to get something off your mind, I don't care if you come to talk to me." I said offering a smile.

"I may take up the offer… thank you Varhen. If you wish, I… never mind it was a bad idea." He seemed to want me to know something.

"Zevran," I said crawling closer to him before sitting down next to him "You can tell me any thing." I said putting my hand on his shoulder, giving a concerned look.

"Can I?" He whispered his eyes took a look toward me before he got up and walked out of the tent. He already had his armor on before he entered, and he had just left like I had not been an idiot, and tripped on him, and hurt him… 'Did I do something that just fucked up our friendship? Oh no…'

I got dressed in my armor grabbing my mothers' necklace, and my Warden pendent before moving out side. I noticed Alistair and the others were gone every one but Zev, Leliana, and I.

"Hello, Varhen. Did you sleep well?" Leliana asked worry clear in her tone; I gave her a small smile, sitting down next to her.

"Yes, well, no actually." I sighed resting my head on my pulled up knees.

"Well that is not good, surly you want to talk about it?" She asked giving me a small look that just screamed concern.

"yes, because I had a wonderful dream. No because of what the dream represents." I answered still resting my head on top of my knees.

"Oh, did you have a wet dream? That what those whimpers were?" She asked smiling.

"Wait how! Never mind I don't want to know. Yes, I was dreaming of… certain things…" I said blushing.

"Who was it!" She asked eagerly, eyes bright and smile shining almost so bright it blinded me.

"Zev…" I whispered.

"You were dreaming of Zevran?" she asked, almost sounding disappointed. I opened my mouth to tell her to be quite when…

"Should I have heard that?" Zev was standing behind me…

A/N: whahaha! Cliffy! Review and I'll post another chapter soon! ;)


	5. Varhen

A/N: Well last chapter Varhen is in slight panic, now he is in total panic! ^^ Let's laugh at him! Any way Enjoy! Please review!

'blah' = thoughts

"blah" = talking

Before on 'Gifts of the Heart':

"Should I have heard that?" Zev was standing behind me…

Chapter 5: Gifts of the Heart: Varhen

"I have to go get fire wood." I barely heard what Leliana said as she left humming a tune only she could hear.

"H-hi, Zevran…" I stuttered 'He's going to hate me! Will he leave, oh I don't care if he hates me but… oh, no, no!' My silver eyes were wide, my cheeks were bright red, yet something about being uncertain about what he thought… was exciting.

"Varhen…" he began, my dream flooded my mind and I couldn't help but whimper "So that is why you were so flustered when I woke you up." he knelt behind me, one hand running down my exposed neck, the other snaking its way around my chest pulling me into his lap. I snapped out of my fear, my hands wrappings around his arm.

"Z-zev, what… what are you doing?" I couldn't be scared, 'A Dalish hunter fears nothing!' I remembered Tamlens words. I gasped when a hand ran down my bare chest, 'When? Zev, you ass!' "How did you… nnn… do that with out me… ah! N-noticing?" I gasped again when he tweaked a nipple.

"I have my ways, my dear Warden…" He said chuckling at my response to the sweet torture he was inflecting "And to your first question. I'm fulfilling your most daring fantasies." He murmured in my ear causing me to blush.

"Z-zev… I…" I started pushing at his arm around my chest "Zev, please, sto- ah!" I threw my head back when he licked up the side of my neck, resting my head on the shoulder plate on his armor.

"yes?" he whispered in my ear, nipping the tip causing me to moan. I tried to squirm away. He just chuckled "Relax, Varhen, I promise I won't hurt you. If you want, I'll stop." I heard the hurt in his voice, I couldn't help but turn my head to get a look at him.

"I… don't…" I looked way at the ground, my eyes went wide when he flipped me so I was straddling his lap. Both his arms were around my hips. My hands found their way to his shoulders, and I couldn't help but blush, and peak out from under the curtain of hair that hid my eyes. He was looking down at me intently as if I held all the answers he needed. I guess I did in a way. 'Why do I have to act like such a girl? Maybe if I kiss him, I'll know what I want from him, friendship, or love… all it takes is a kiss…' I moved my head to fully look up into his eyes.

"You don't what, my Dear Warden?" he asked raising a single brow in question, waiting for my answer.

"I don't know…" I looked down, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. He smiled down at me giving the top of my head a kiss, before hooking my chin and making me look up he was about to ask something, but I cut him off with a kiss to the lips. I closed my eyes and blushed as he actually pulled me flat against his armored chest. I whimpered when he nipped at my lower lip I immediately opened my lips allowing him to slide his tongue into my mouth, I felt his hand run up my back to tangle in my hair, I instinctively tiled my head back to give him better access into my mouth.

His other hand traveled lower teasing the ties of my leg armor, getting me to whine into the kiss he pulled away, I let the whimper fall from my lips freely 'I know now… I want more than friendship. I want him to be, _mine_!' my thoughts took a turn for my dream, I felt all to warm and my blood was all rushing south.

"Do you know now? I need to know Varhen." He asked still hovering over my lips I just looked up giving him a small shy smile.

"yes." I answered with confidence. I knew what I wanted.

"And what is your decision?" He asked eyes scanning me desperately.

"That I want this. That I want you… but I don't want it to be just a quick one time thing." I said blushing looking at him then the floor. I didn't see him smile, or see his tanned skin turn a soft pink. I only felt a small tug on my hair and a pair of lips on mine.

A/N: Holy crap! I have a new chapter up so soon! Who the hell am I and where did my insanity go? ;)


	6. Feelings

A/N: Well! I got three chapters posted in less than two days! :D Hope you enjoy! This is the last chapter! With this I will end this story! YAY! As you can see our small little elf (Varhen) knows how to curse! By the way Varhen has a habbit of bashing himself.

'blah' = thought

"blah" = talking

Before on 'Gifts of the Heart':

I didn't see him smile, or see his tanned skin turn a soft pink. I only felt a small tug on my hair and a pair of lips on mine.

Chapter 6 Gifts of the Heart: Feelings

I moaned when he claimed my lips, it felt god to just let him take control, to let him dominate me.

-this chapter has been screened if you are looking for the originale PM me.-

"Do you wish for something, my dear Varhen? Come now I can't give it to you if I don't know what it is, now can I? He said chuckling as I glared up at him the best I could, with him grinding into me and my cheeks being a sinful shade of pink…

"The… others, they- ah! Th-they'll see!"I hissed at him "We… Need t-nn, g-get into the tent…" I was gasping and whimpering far too much to even try to talk. 'The ass planed this! I KNOW he did!'

"Hmmm… and if, I told you, let them watch?" he whispered in my ear. This was to much, I managed to worm my way out of his arms to sit on my butt in front of him panting.

"Then you will sadly be disappointed when I leave you alone to take care of your self whilst I go to the privacy of my tent." I was still panting, but I managed to give him the choice to follow or stay, with out moaning like a virgin, which I was, but that wasn't the point. He smiled and stood strutting to my tent and turning to look at me, knowing my eyes had followed his movements carefully.

"Well? Well we enter; you have a… problem, no?" He gave me his signature grin and waited. I gave a small, sly grin. I knew how to attract attention to me, well my body any way. Zevran was going to learn this little fact well. Yes, I was self concise to a certain degree, yes, I was small in size, but I still knew how to use my body to my benefit and that was something few knew.

"Zev, are you trying to seduce your leader? Temp me with a night of bliss?" I said giving a small look of lust his way, moving my body perfectly as I stood, and slowly stalked over to him. I watched as his eyes shined with surprise, his hands twitch with anticipation, and his tongue dart out to wet his lips. He was watching me, he was mine.

"Why would I ever try such things on you? I am after all, under your mercy. One wrong move and I could be pined to the floor, with a dagger at my throat…" He watched as I moved closer, his eyes losing the surprise, and gaining a look of pure want and lust. It was my turn to feel surprise, I only ever saw lust and hunger from Tamlen, and yes he showed me love, but never pure _want._ I stopped and arm length away.

-screened-

"Well, my dear Varhen, you are a wonder indeed. A rare diamond among all this coal, pure and beautiful…" he stopped to chuckle "I think I can be vary… convincing, no?" He pulled me to him and kissed me, I couldn't pull or push away, I may be more, agile, and quick, but he was stronger. I was also just too happy about being accepted by him, that I was just accepting his lead. I moved my lips away.

"Ha! You think I'm a diamond? I am more like a piece of jade, un-rare and low in value." I said looking at him. Yes he had flaws, but that just made him all the more beautiful. He reminded me of a newly unburied piece of onyx, dark, mysterious, beautiful. The flaws just high-lighted the unmarred spans of gem stone. Me? I had too many flaws to look beautiful. My color was too pale, and splotched. I was far to small for any real value. I looked down 'How can Zevran want me? I am nothing of great value. Hell! My only real quality is I can fight… and wish I could go back to my life before, and wish agents every thing I could have changed Tamlens' fate. '

"No. You are a rare treasure. Do not doubt your self or your value, Varhen. I never go after anything but the best after all." He said nuzzling my neck nipping at it. I smiled moving my head giving full accesses to the soft flesh.

"I love it, when people can just make me react with nothing but words and the smallest gestures…" I murmured, giving a slight chuckle the throbbing "I never have been some one who needed much motivation… It's funny, that you can even want me… I've been waiting for the others to suddenly pop out of no where and laugh at me." I tried to move away, but strong arms held me tight.

'What the hell, just walk into the forest calm down, and when you get back act like nothing happened.' My thoughts wanted me to walk away. My heart wanted desperately to believe Zevran wanted me, in a way that meant it wasn't a one night stand.

"Varhen… Let me show you what I feel, please. I… I am not the best when it comes to talking of such things. I can show them much better, but you must let me." He grabbed my arms and for some reason I just didn't fight. I looked up instantly aware of the problem I was sporting down south. I blushed and looked away.

"I… I'm sorry… I never want to just have a meaningless relationship with some one. I want something I can never have. I want pure love. I don't want a one night stand or friends with benefits. I want desperately to have a real solid reason to fight this damned, fucking, blight!" I was scared and sad and horny, this was just great. I looked up at him and saw… understanding? How could he…? Then I remembered his story about the first person to worm their way into his heart.

"I'm so sorry, Zevran." I said the raw emotions raging through my mind. I just didn't know what to do, the less rationale part of me just wanted to hump his leg, the more rationale part of me wanted to scream and run into the forest, but another part of me wanted to let Zevran in and just tell him why I wanted him, and just let go.

To say the least I was stuck and couldn't get out. I thanked the gods when Zevran pulled me out of my reeling thoughts.

"You need to let some of this go, Varhen. From what I gather you don't let emotion's flow often, I hear it is unhealthy." He said giving me a soft look, before hugging me to his chest. I could feel he was still hard but he was reining it in to give me reassurance.

-these parts have been screened-

'He really is commented? That's it every thing else can die in a hole, for once in my abnormal, messed up life, I will ask for one thing and take it, the gods be damned and can shove the consequences.' I hugged him back and leaned up kissing him, letting him know my decision. I wanted to let go, and let him take what he wished, I would test the fates and see where it took me.

I just let the emotion flow, I was overjoyed he wanted me, I was sad and guilty that I was doing something like this so soon after Tamlens death, I was just happy of finally indulging in something like this. I felt clean, light, like I had just put down a heavy load. Fire was racing through my nerves when he started to lead me to the tent flap and into the safe, cloth walls. He nipped me on the neck again, dragging his teeth along the tendon there, it sent shivers up my spine. I hissed when I realized my armor was gone and I was only in my deer hide pants again.

"How? I never notice." I said realizing not only had he gotten my armor off with out my notice, my boots were gone too. That and I was laying on my bed roll. I looked up really confused and still desperately horny. 'He knows it to, the damn git.'

"Like I said, I have my ways." He attacked my neck again, nipping and licking, working his way back up along my jaw before kissing me breathless yet again.

-screen-

My eyes were closed but I was sure he had a smug grin on his lips. 'I swear to the gods if he kills me tonight, I won't care.'

A/N: OK! Maybe not the end after all! Review! Flame me I really don't care, I have my chocolate, marshmallows, and gram crackers ready.


	7. Please?

A/N: Well start fluffy protective Zev! Well fort Drakon is evil, so I'm gonna have Zevran kill a few people!

Zevran: Why did I agree to this again? *glare*

Me: Because you are the best assassin ever and you won't kill me? *puppy eyes*

Zevran: Fine…I'm going to go and play with Varhen…

Me: bye…. Ok let the show go on! *dodges throwing knife* Hey you aren't supposed to kill me!

Zevran: I didn't say I wouldn't try.

Chapter eight: Sir Cauthrien

Every thing had been going to easy, the guards falling easily, there were too few guards. Varhen's' thoughts were echoed bye Zevran and Alistair, Wynne kept her staff at the ready but that was all Varhen needed to know she was uneasy.

"Be cautious, every thing has been too easy… Something is wrong, there should be more guards! Stay here I need to check before we move forward…" Varhen crouched low moving forward with out a sound staying to the wall, in the shadow unseen. He peeked into the front room with the main doors, eyes quickly finding the waiting troops, Varhen quickly and just as silently moved back to his friends, creeping up on even the vigilant Zevran.

"Not good, looks like elite troops are at the front door, there's no other way out… we're trapped… fuck!" He ran his hands through his hair tears pricking his eyes, he was scared of being cornered, it wasn't fair!

"There… but… oh shit!" Varhen stopped his panic attack to look at Alistair, he never cursed! He suddenly burst out laughing.

"Am I growing on you that much?" He quickly sobered up, looking at the queen, "We have no choice but surrender, but I have little idea who they are, the troop leader looks to be the woman the Loghain had by his side when he confronted us before the lands meet… I believe she has something to do with Fort Drakon or something. "Varhen looked at the main room, then back to the others.

"That means she'll want us alive for Loghains' entertainment." Alistair spat, glaring at the floor, shifting uneasily. Zevran glanced to the main room, shifting in much the same manner of Alistair.

"We surely have a good chance at getting past the troops?" his eyes shifted back to Varhen, lips pursed brow wrinkled with worry.

"No. They are all elite and they out number us five to one, they also have at least two mages, it would be suicide." His eyes caught Zevrans' for a moment, showing the utter fear he was trying to hide. Zevran moved closer to Varhen, unsure of how to calm the younger elf.

"So we have little choices. If you surrender they may try to kill Anora, or the rest of us, or they could let us go free, maybe they are here for other matters?" Wynne was weighing the options and possibilities but also, just like Varhen couldn't find a way out. Varhen found a knights helm that hid the face quickly shoving it at Alistair.

"If we must surrender and are taken to Fort Drakon I won't have you come with me…" He said looking at the ground contemplating the pain they would surely bestow.

"I won't leave-"Alistair was stopped mid sentence by a hissed warring.

"You will! I know pain! I know what they will do…." Varhen stopped, looking down "Alistair if they catch you too they'll inflict pain that will break you." Varhen turned away, from the others before any questions could be asked.

"Let us tend too our guests." He said cocking a small grin, before heading into the room of the front doors. Alistair put on the helm, staying near the back of the group, not acting like the brave Alistair Grey Warden, but a hired guard. Zevran stayed by Varhens' side looking at the group of guards as the leader halted them.

"Halt! Warden you are under arrest for murder!" the women they guessed was Sir Cauthrien walked forward a few paces but not close enough for an attack. "Will you come willingly?" She looked at the group not lingering on any of the moving on quickly back to Varhen.

"I will come willingly, on one condition." Varhen looked at her levelly daring her to ask the question.

"What is it?" She snapped glaring at the calm looking elf before her, as if her gaze could smite him were he stood.

"That my companions are free to go and that only I go with you. They are attacked and we will go down with a fight." It was a brave bluff but it worked Sir Cauthrien spat at him but agreed.

"Zevran take these I don't want my things to be destroyed!" Varhen whispered quick handing his Dalish blades and dagger to his lover before being grabbed by guards and tied up. Zevran held the two twin blades and dagger blinking after his love for a moment before shaking his head and quickly looking back at the others.

"We have to get back to the Arl…" He said before strapping the dagger to his hip and handing one of the swords to Alistair to carry while he strapped the other to his waist next to his own Dagger "I'm not letting them have my little griffon for long." A determination flashed in his eyes as they quickly ran out of the estate of the dead Arl Howe and back to the Arl of Redcliffs' estate.

A/N: hope you enjoy ! Truly a comment would be loved!


	8. Sir Cauthrien

A/N: Fort Drakon is an evil place; let us descend into the bowls of this wretched place. Well read cry review love it! XP

Chapter eight: The plan

(Arl Eamons' estate)

"We have a problem! The Warden has been captured!" Anora said bursting into the Arls' office, red faced from the long run there. Eamon was standing in an instant.

"What about Alistair!" He's voice was sharp worried, Alistair was like a son, if he was hurt…

"I'm here but they have Varhen, and he has no weapons!" Alistair looked up to Varhen as an older brother even if he was an elf and younger than him "We have to save him! We will won't we?" Alistair looked at the Antivan elf standing next too him, Zevran was holding the dagger Varhen had practically thrown at him. The dagger hadn't gone untouched since it had come to the crows' hands, Alistair was worried.

"Are you ok?" Alistair edged closer to the elf, surprised by how quite he had been.

"I want him back." The statement held many things the elf swore he would never show, he had just show he cared for the younger elf more than he let on. Alistair smiled grasping the assassins' shoulder.

"We'll get him back, but we need a plan, running into Fort Drakon with out one would mean death for us all… or who ever is going." Alistair said shifting, he sounded like he knew what to do a leader… Maybe Varhen wasn't so wrong after all.

"I will go, and one other we can't have more with out arousing suspicion. " Zevran looked up at the Grey Warden, smileing faintly.

"It seems our remaining Warden has a plan, I will be the second to go. I will have it no other way…" The elf looked up slightly catching Alistairs' eyes "Varhen once said you would make a good leader. For what it is worth I think he was right…" The elf now turned to Eamon "We need to know how the Fort is laid out, a map is necessary, no?" his humor falling back into place. He quirked a sly grin as a map was presented and they started their plotting.

A/N: you all should know what they plan! XP Leave the rest to me! *evil laugh*


	9. The Plan

A/N: Sticks and stones may break my bones… but nothing like Fort Drakon will happen again!

Zevran: you are sadistic.

Varhen: Why are you talking about this!*throws up hands*

Me: It adds to the story and Zevran being protective is too cute not to have?

Varhen: he's mine, find your own!*hugs Zevran*

Me: damn, sure you can't share? Any way before they kill me…. Read the next chapter! XD

Chapter ten: Fort Drakon

(Varhen pov)

I woke up in a cell, only in my deer hide pants; this was going to be interesting… I looked at the prisoner in the other cell glaring when he tried to tell me I was in hell and wasn't getting out, witch stopped his preaching and sent him a little further from the bars separating our cages. I sighed, felling guilty.

"Look," I whispered moving as close as I could to his bars, a chain around my neck tying me to the back wall, "I'm not planning to stay here; I need to get back to…" Images of Zevran's face the shock and barley concealed horror in his eyes, made my heart clench "My… friends. They need to know I'm not dead… yet... I'm not lying down to be killed like a lame dog; I'm going down with a fight, and I'm taking as many of these bastards as possible with me."

I growl, these people were killing the innocent so they deserved no mercy. I winced hearing a choked scream end abruptly; my ears are filled with the echoing cry, sudden dark memories trying to break the wall I had built over the years. I hissed when my cage door was opened and three men walked in.

My instincts kicked in, I shoot up quickly standing to flee, I don't like being caged, and I hate being trapped. One of them laughed as the chain caused me to collapse back to the floor. I choked for a second before getting control and keeping to the wall, staying as close to it as possible. The man at the front smiled sickly at my show of fear, my gut clenched, knowing what was going to happen.

"Are you scared? Come on, you're a Grey Warden aren't you? Show us what your made of!" he moved within reach of the chain, my first instinct was attack, but just as quickly my instincts told me to stay away from the man, he wouldn't dare get close enough to be tangled in the chain. I moved to the far corner, away from the guard and other prisoners' cell. If I moved close he may try to… hurt me, and I wasn't going to let that happen again, never again.

"Come on are you scared? Loghain was right you are just a cowardice little bitch!" That snapped my resolve, I wasn't a coward and I was not a bitch, I bowed to no one. The Shem would pay for such insults. I stopped just out of his reach, my senses kicking in almost too late. I went to back up but was grabbed by the other two, my eyes widened I had forgotten about the other two and now I was in their grasp. I was pined to the wall by the two that held my arms the one I had nearly attacked standing in front of me grinning in triumph. His hand unlocking the chain around my neck, "Bring him to the Regents' quarters, sir?" One of the men asked. At that I began to struggle with every thing in me.

"Well I'd like to get some fun in before the Regent gets here but we're to leave you un-touched for his amusement." I swallowed my thoughts turning back to a time in my past and I suddenly jerked breaking the hold on one of my arms, which was enough to hit the other guard in the face, breaking his nose, and freeing my other arm. I felt a swell of smug triumph for a split second before getting my hands on the stunned guards' sword, drawing it quickly and effectively spinning and getting the other guards' throat.

Using the momentum I turned and dove it across the lead guards' chest, the first finally snapped out of it trying to grab me, I moved just in time to have him fall over behind me, the lead guard had fallen to the ground I saw he was a rouge and he carried a light one hand sword and a dagger, I sized my opportunity, I grabbed the keys, sword, and dagger running out of the cage before shutting the door and locking it just as the guard on the floor recovered and slammed into it, knocking himself out.

I gave a small, weak smile to the other prisoner opening his door with the keys.

"Do you know were they put the prisoners' things?" I asked him looking around; it seemed they were the ones in the pit killing the tortured people. I wanted to look into the pit to see if there were any more survivors, but I held back, I had to survive to see Zevran, at least one more time. And what I might find was not worth the risk. If someone was down there I would be able to hear them now.

"I think the chest by the door holds your things, they must have destroyed or taken my things else were." He was skinny and wouldn't last three seconds against the guards, I felt so bad for him. Checking the chest it did hold my things, at least my armor any way. I handed him the dagger I had pulled from the guard.

"Stay here and die, or fight. It's up to you. You can wait a while then follow after me, which would be the safest option." I turned grabbed my armor, quickly pulling it on getting the buckles and ties fastened properly in a matter of seconds, thanks to years of practice. I held the sword firmly as I crept to the door, weary in case of guards on the other side.

I opened the door creeping through and along the corridor to a weapons room, just a few feet away from the dungeon room door. Slipping in quietly, spotting two guards I dashed forward plunging the sword into the firsts' chest before pulling away and spinning in a whirl getting the other across the chest, I silenced him with one more sweep of the sword to his throat.

"Bastards." I sneered at the shock frozen on their faces, spiting at them. I grabbed two light swords and several throwing daggers in case. I noticed a pack, it was mine. My healing supplies laid out on the table, I grabbed them and the other supplies in the room tying the pouch back by my hip. I heard shouts and screams of rage and shock from down the hall; it seems they found my mess. Now it was time to run.

"Well, that cut the fun short…" I muttered, Walking into the hall seeing guards rush my way, I hit the first one with a throwing knife to the neck, pulling out my swords rushing at them, another fell and I focused on the third leavening a window to my side open. A mace hit my side sending me into the wall to my right.

"Varhen!" I was dazed but the voice that called sounded like… I looked up thinking I was hallucinating but the guard that had hit me with the mace was on the floor a Dalish dagger embedded into his skull, a elf crouched over the body, I smiled it was him. I hadn't imagined it, Zevran had come. I tried to stand from the heap that I had curled into on the floor, a pain in my side stopping the effort, the guard had gotten lucky; a few ribs were broken or bruised. I gasped curling back up I had broken ribs before, this wasn't good.

"Varhen, Varhen?" The voice was not the velvety accented tone of Zevran, rather the higher tone of my brother Alistair. But I couldn't bring my head up to look at him.

I could feel some kind of mist begin to cloud my mind and all of a sudden I was being dragged into darkness. As the mist began to twist its way through my mind I could feel fire race along my neck in lines of sharp cutting pain, my head lolled back and just as the red hazy mist consumed my vision I saw a mage standing near the end of the hall. His robs screamed Tevinter, he was an elf, with long blond hair tied back in a lose pony tail. A small trickle of blood ran down his palm, a blood mage. My eyes caught his as the mist consumed me, the last thing I remember seeing is a smirk playing on his lips as pain overwhelms my mind.

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter; it's been a long time coming. Stupid people messing up my life interfered for a while, forgive me? I hope to sate my starved readers with future chapters that will be much quicker than this one was.


	10. Fort Drakon

A/N: Ok so a blood ritual that the Tevinter mage used has messed with Varhen's life, the changes he faces when he wakes up are irreparable. Enjoy! Oh, the A/N before I leave this chapter to descend into the plot further will tell you a little about this, a quiz in your reviews, please pay attention to it. I'd like the feed back. : )

Last chapter of Gifts of the Heart:

"My eyes caught his as the mist consumed me, the last thing I remember seeing is a smirk playing on his lips as pain overwhelms my mind."

Chapter eleven: Gifts of an Awakening

As I slowly drifted awake I could practically taste the tense worry in the room around me. I could feel a sudden burning pain run up my left side, the same side the mace had crushed, and stinging needles stab at my neck, I let out a soft groan. Instantly three voices seemed to explode in my head at the small noise I had made. I winced and tried to sink back into the soft bed.

"Varhen, are you ok?" I could tell it was Alistair shouting that bit because the voice cracked with worry did not hold the accent of my lover or the motherly worry of Wynne, the latter two companions piping up at my awakening along with Alistair.

"I should give you a good beating for that folly you pulled, young man!" The elderly mage who had earned more than respect from me, rather a role as a mother-figure, seemed to have been left with more than one sleepless night. Her voice was loud enough to rival Alistair's shout but also low enough that is did not crack from strain. I felt worry and slight fear from the tired and serious tones in her voice as I slowly opened my silver eyes to look at the three of them.

"You are incredibly lucky to still be alive." The Antivan elf said this with seriousness that seemed to make him sound much older than he looked, and his voice was half the volume of Alistair, but his voice was the one that sounded strongest in my ears. Wynne, Alistair, and I could see his tensed posture and shoulders. The look of relief and joy in the golden eyes was harder to spot but every one in the room felt the same. I felt an intense feeling of relief and contentment wash over me at the sight of the honey eyed elf.

I gave a soft sheepish smile, "I-"sudden pain closed around my throat, my mouth seemed to dry up and my head throbbed. My teeth clenched, not allowing the small quip of "I love you all too, now please calm down your hurting my poor ears." I gave a soft gasp of pain and moved my hand to my throat and the other to my temple, the pain in my head seemed to increase dramatically from the simple movement. Wynne saw this and immediately swooped down on me.

"Let me see the marks, now." She seemed scared, but I had no idea what she was talking about, I looked up at her confused I almost asked what she meant when I remembered what had started the pain. Wynne saw the confused look in my eyes sighing in frustration; she moved my hands out of the way with the gentle hands of a healer. I cold feel her untie something around my neck; soon realizing that she was unraveling bandages. This sparked fear and concern in my mind, the dreadful throbbing did not make thinking easy, but the shrouded image of blood running down the elf mages' cut palm slowly causing a crimson tide to wash over his vision clouding every thing else.

I froze in my fidgeting eyes wide, I wanted to ask what happened but my throat seemed to be in a vice, I couldn't get it to open in order to form the words. Blood magic, I had been put under the influence of blood magic. I could feel cold, hard dread settle in the pit of my stomach.

"Varhen, do not worry the only lasting effects Wynne has been able to find are the attacks on your health, every once in a while, and the… marks." Alistair tried to calm me but I saw the winch in his features that he had failed at totally concealing. Zevran looked at Alistair then me, I could tell by his look that those were not the only… side effects, of the blood magic. I felt the numbing wash of healing magic cress my neck and then move across the rest of my motionless form. Wynne sighed again, also another clue that Alistair had not told me every thing.

"Before you even try to say something," the elder gave me a look that just screamed 'Don't even think about opening that smart moth of yours' as she slowly got to the last layer of the wrapped bandages, "This may sting ready yourself." I wanted to roll my eyes at her but I found my self tensed for the pain before I could think. As she peeled the last layer away I felt a dull painful ache sweep my neck in what felt like a pattern, but the ache blurred it to much to tell with out a mirror.

I gritted my teeth as she sent another wave of numbing healing magic over the burning marks, now the ache had subsided and I could tell by the sharp pains that there was an intricate mark that weaved its way around my neck. I gritted my teeth, the pain was slowly growing and the invisible vice around my neck had tightened, making it incredibly hard to breath. Wynne took notice and began to speak fluid incantations. I was not longer paying attention to my surroundings; every thing was beginning to blur, I closed my eyes to stop the wave of dizziness. I was focused on my own problems, like trying to dull the constant throbbing in my head or relax the vice around my throat.

I feel another's hand run along the pulse point on my wrist, some of the throbbing in my mind subsided, I open my eyes again and they lock with a golden pair. I feel a rush of calm relief run through me and I can't help the rush of my emotions that run rampant. I know he can see it in my eyes the emotions crashing by, and to my surprise he leans down and pecks me on my lips, it's like a shock runs through my body. The vice disappears, along with the throbbing and aches, and I'm left in a trance of sleepy contentment and joy. Wynne noticed what Zevran had done and my reaction, she countered the healing spell cutting off the flow of magic.

"Did you know that would happen?" Wynne seemed to be astonished. I could see it in her eyes, the pure and utter disbelief. I was worried immediately that it was my fault and ducked my head down looking at her worried. Alistair shuffled forward, and poked me. I looked at him and cocked my head in question.

"Just wanted check, you know, to see if you'd explode in to a cloud of pink puff or something." He joked at me smiling that lop sided smile of his. I grinned and before I could think I shot back a reply.

"Oh really you think I'm a fairy now? We'll sorry I can't wave my wand and find your prince charming sweet heart." I grinned, rolling my eyes, then realized that I'd opened my big moth and tensed ready for the pain to start up again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Zevran smirk.

"It seems I was right after all, although while on the topic of fairy tails… Will the princess rise to meet her prince?" I saw him smirk and a flash of amusement shine in his eyes. I raised my self onto my elbows look at him in astonishment.

"Did… Did you just call me a fairy princess? I exclaimed, astonished, sending a half glare to Zevran. Who chuckled and bowed formally.

"Forgive me, my lady, have I offended you? If so accept my most humble apologies, but those can wait until we are alone, no?" He joked smirking at the light blush the comment and enticed to my checks. I could feel a purr rise through me and all of a sudden it sounded like a cat had been placed in the room… But as soon as it started I realized the purring was coming from me.

"What in the bloody Beyond?" I muttered confused, the purring lessened from the deep rumble to a soft buzz in the background. Wynne sniggered and tried to hide it behind a hand as did Zevran, Alistair moved out of the room… Muffled hysteric laughter filtered through the closed door soon after.

"I hope every one who hears him takes him to be crazy." I mutter glaring at the door.

"Well, you see Varhen the lasting effects… Well, I'm not sure how to say this…. Zevran, have any ideas?" Zevran looked at Wynne with a raised eye brow, a soft underline of surprise sharpening his eyes.

"Let him see, that's the best way I can think of revealing it to him but let us not talk like this he is after all right here. He does after all capture the eyes rather well." Zevran purred at me, sending a soft blush racing to my checks and the purr to stutter and get slightly loader. I groaned and flopped back down onto the bed.

"Why am I purring? This makes me look like a cat!" I moaned in frustration, Just as the ex-templar walked in the room, Alistair practically hit the floor as soon as the words left his moth. Wynne set her lips in a line trying rather hard not to laugh, and Zevran openly chuckled.

"If you think that purring makes you look like a cat wait until you see your reflection. I find it rather… cute" Zevran murmured turning from me and grabbed a silver hand mirror. Handing the small thing over to me I raised an eyebrow at him before looking at my reflection I could not believe what I saw there. My eyes widened in shock, I could see cat ears on the top of my head I heard some thing near where Alistair was and saw my ears twitch in response to the small noise I gasped in astonishment. Then I saw something else had changed my canine teeth had lengthened and sharpened into sort fangs, when I blinked trying to figure out how this was possible my eyes caught my attention, the pupils were dilated into slits, like a cats.

I blinked several times before looking up to meet Zevran's eyes, "This… I don't… how?" I asked I realized I was ashamed, I was a freak, I'd be lucky if Zevran would ever look at me again. I let the mirror slip from my hand and fall onto the blanket I hid under, I wanted so desperately to dive under the blankets, curl up and pretend this was not happening.

"Varhen, before you freak out, no one thinks anything bad of you. I think it's cute, even your tai- oh shit" Alistair ducked down after realizing what he'd said. I felt a cold wind sweep me, the color drained from my face. A tail, I had a tail? I slowly pulled back the blankets and stood up Zevran and Wynne sharing worried glances as they moved to give me room.

"I'm dreaming; please tell me I'm dreaming." I murmur on the edge of hysteria as I half turned and looked down, sure enough as my friend had said a twitching cat-like tail, black as night just like my hair was curled out behind me. I couldn't take it and fainted. I could feel a pair of arms wrap around me, and wished I could tell if it were Zevran as the blackness consumed me.

A/N: ok so I'd like to know what he should respond to as a…. no wait till next chapter, hope you enjoy! ;)


	11. Gifts of an Awakening

A/N: Well, all will be unveiled! The questions like "What? Why did Varhen faint?" or "Why does Varhen have cat ears and a tail?" All shall be answered shortly! Enjoy, my friends! Oh, by the way in no way do I own the characters of Dragon Age or the original story; I'm just one of the many who own a copy of the games. Thank you for listening, and please enjoy.

Note: If I miss-spelt a game term please PM me the correct spelling, I find pointing

Warning: Some of this chapter is from Zevran's point of view, sine for some reason I fail at third person point of view.

Before in gifts of the Heart:

"I couldn't take it and fainted. I could feel a pair of arms wrap around me, and wished I could tell if it were Zevran as the blackness consumed me."

Chapter twelve: Gifts of the Mind

(Zevran's POV)

I caught Varhen when he fainted, truly I had expected such, seeing his panic I had thought he would faint or blow up into a full blown panic attack. His hound Shade had whined and prodded at one of Varhen's hands after the elf had fainted. I smiled softly as the features relaxed on the face of the young boy- no man. Varhen had proved him self many times over since I had first met him all those months ago… To think I had wished to die when I had first met the man I cradled in my arms. How wrong I had been, how wrong the Crows had been.

(Flash back)

The sun was well on its way along its path over the sky, the usual cold of the land chased away for the time being. Zevran waited by the 'Ambush' he had gotten word of the path the Wardens had taken, he had sent one of the younger apprentices back along the path to run toward the Wardens screaming about a supposed "attack" on her caravan. He smirked; the one leading the remaining two Wardens was rather naïve, helping who ever he could, with almost no questions, asking almost nothing in return for his actions. Such an innocent child not yet learned in worldly wisdom, a shame he had to die it was quite a waste of blooming skill and talent.

Zevran had to admit the young lad was handsome even if he was a child in the assassin's eyes. The long black hair, darker than a night robbed of all it's light, which fell about his lower back in tamed waves. With eyes that shone in attractive and addicting silver. Zevran had seen the young Dalish rouge once himself, a rare beauty indeed. His pale skin was devoid of blemishes and scares, at least he had not seen any scares, the armor did leave much to the imagination, and a good thing Zevran had a very creative one.

Zevran had done his research, the young boy traveled with three or four companions at a time to scout out the area ahead of the rest. Waiting Zevran mused that the boy probably did this to assure the path was clear and safe for the larger group that followed. Such a pity the boy had to die, he held so much promise! Zevran had sent a more experienced member of his modestly sized group to find out who would follow the boy ahead of the others today. After all they needed to know how to attack their enemies.

As it turned out, the dog, was accompanying the group Zevran believed it's name was Shade, a fitting name for the black mabari. The other Warden was also among the company, Zevran was not bothered to learn the foolish warriors name, the healer as Zevran had titled the elder mage, and the second mage, a dark woman that Zevran did not much care for, she was too dark, and already corrupt. Women like her were no fun. You had nothing to do with them but watch what they might do to a fool, dumb enough to try to get under their skirts.

He heard the fake façade of his apprentice, "Please! Come help we were attacked by bandits, you must hurry, quickly!" her voice carried by the wind was quite, but the false panic was set skillfully, her form soon rounding the bend as she ran up to Zevran. She had a grin plastered to her face, almost bouncing as she stood by him, turning to watch the spectacle of the Warden's massacre. She smiled at the board looking elf, "The Crows send their regards'" she sang.

Zevran looked at the lead Warden, who had silenced a snarl from his hound. The silver eyed elf did not seemed affected by the turn of events; instead he shook his head as Zevran raised his hand signaling his men to fall into their positions. The trap they had laid earlier was released sending the giant rotted tree that stood to the side of the path falling down. The silver eyes widened slightly as he looked up dogging the falling limbs and tree with grace. His companions had been far enough back that they had to quickly scramble over the log in order to assist their leader as Zevran drew his daggers sneering at the ease which the Warden had as he maneuvered out of the trap.

"The Warden dies here!" He barked, every one there know the tone he had used it told them to leave the silver eyed one to their leader, Zevran wanted to die, but for some reason he wanted to prove his worth against the Dalish elf that seemed non-too impressed with his efforts. Zevran was nothing if not a proud assassin.

The silver eyes narrowed, "If you wish a fight, then you shall receive one!" As those words left the pale lips a dagger was sent flying through the air hitting the apprentice to Zevran's left that had been a mage, in her right eye immediately killing her, putting an end to her casting.

Battle broke out, even with his greater numbers the Warden's skill was far greater then Zevran had anticipated. Varhen had quickly dodged around Zevran's persistent attacks to disable several well laid traps to clear the way for the others. The two mages stood apart casting spells to aid their allies as well as casting against the archers. The Warrior fought against some of the others using his shield as well as his sword as a weapon. Angered by the lack of skill his comrades were showing Zevran attacked again, this time provoking a response from the Dalish. The young elf turned on him with the ferocity of a jungle cat, Zevran almost grinned in satisfaction. The flurry of daggers was none stop, Zevran noticed, the elf he fought did not use duel daggers, but instead had a short blade in each hand.

They each matched the other, parrying and blocking blows, Zevran was determined to get a reaction from the younger elf, but the silver one stayed focused, not letting anything betray him. He would try to place a kick in the boys side only to see the elf swerve out of the way, and try to place his own blow. The elf did not seem to be breaking a sweat yet, Zevran liked the boy, he was a skilled fighter, and he had even nicked Zevran's cheek. Losing his footing when the boy had managed to trip him, Zevran fell backward and rolled barley in time avoid a blow from one of the short blades.

Jumping up he locked eyes with the boy, for a fleeting second he saw admiration in the silver eyes. Then the boy set him self again and readied his blades. They circled each other for a moment, Zevran could tell his group had fallen, he knew soon he'd join them. A soft sigh left his lips and he twirled his dagger. He stopped and looked at the boy, "Let this drag on no further, Warden." He leapt forward, slicing at the area just above the boys color bone. A quick intake of breath followed by a quick leap backward had the boy out of the daggers path. A noise behind him alerted him to the charge of the warrior he turned and moved quickly to get out of the way, only to end up inside a paralysis glyph.

Truthfully he was surprised by the clever trap, the Warden's may not have been as easy as he had thought after finding out the were only recruits, but they had proven to be the end he wished after all. He gritted his teeth when he saw a stone fist flying toward him, hopefully it would kill him. Zevran closed his eyes and waited. When the earth hit him he was flung a good distance, and knocked out.

He opened his eyes, to his disbelief, to a pale skinned angle with black tendrils as wings and hair, it's eyes seemed to be made molten silver. As his eyes focused he realized he was not looking up at an angel of death, but rather the Warden that had bested him. Groaning he rolled his eyes.

"I had expected to wake up dead, or not wake up at all as the case may be. But seeing you haven't killed me yet you must want to torture me, and if I assume correctly the purpose of most torture is information. Well let me cut the fun short then. I was paid to kill you; it was nothing personal, just business. "Zevran said, rather board with the fact he was still alive. The elf's lips twitched with amusement.

"So you were paid? Sounds like a rather underhanded way to get me and Alistair out of the way. May I ask your name and who hired you to slit our throats?" The boy said raising one eye brow, and tilting his head. Zevran took a small moment to admire the view; the boy had his hip cocked to the side and his arms crossed over his chest.

"My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends, as for who hired me, he was a rather fellow, Loghain I think his name was…" Zevran murmured an idea popping into his head, "And may I ask your name? You after all proved your obvious skill." The elf's lips twitched up slightly.

"Was that a real complement or flattery with purpose behind it, I wonder? If you really wish to know my given name is Varhen, a nick name I've been gifted recently is Var, if you prefer. I find people often tell me my name is strange, but it's Dalish so humans and city elves would find it odd I guess. "Varhen replied, he seemed amused by the fact, but only his eyes betrayed him. Zevran glanced at the two blades strapped to the young boy's side, realizing that's why they looked familiar; he'd seen the make before.

"Shall I guess this Loghain fellow wants you dead because you threaten his power?" Zevran ventured, the more the elf spoke the more interesting he became to Zevran. The warrior behind him shifted, Alistair, Zevran guessed it was because he found that conversing with an assassin unnerving. A small smirk pulled at his lips.

"You could say that. The bastard deserted us and left us for dead at Ostagar, assuming you heard of the massacre, he left every one, even his son-in-law. If I get the chance he'll die." The calm tone was anything but the dark glower that fell over Varhen's face.

"Well, he sounds rather dark hearted, assuming you had need of… skilled help? I may have a proposition for you, if you're done integrating me." Zevran hoped this idea would work, for some insane reason he found him self curious about this young lad.

Varhen seemed to think the idea over and Zevran felt a sliver of hope build up. If his idea worked he'd be free of the Crows. No more rules, limits, and freedom. The silver eyes locked on his again, "I'm listening." Varhen murmured kneeling down to be more eye level with Zevran, considering he was tied up and laying on the ground. Alistair stood dumb founded with his mouth hanging open, "You know if you stay that way long enough, Alistair, You'll catch a fly or two." Varhen said grinning, he hadn't even had to look back to know how the warrior had reacted.

"Wh-What! You can't be serious! He's an Assassin!" Alistair exclaimed, Zevran saw Varhen wince at the high pitched yell. He almost smirked at the childish display, but refrained, that may ruin his chances.

"Yes, and? I have Sten, Leliana, and Morrigan, and Wynne following us too, your point? Every one has… specialties, his may be of use. Now state you offer, Zevran." Varhen handled the Warrior with ease, but Alistair still looked worried. After a short discussion, Varhen decided to let the assassin live and accompany them.

"I give you my word until I'm killed or am released from your service, to follow and aid you. So I give you the word of Zevran Arainai of the Antivan Crows." Zevran said after being helped up by Varhen, after being untied. Varhen released the older male's hand, quickly backing up. Returning the bow, but not placing a fist over his heart, rather crossing his wrists across his chest, in the manner of the Dalish.

"Glad to have you with us, Zevran, I accept your word, but I won't hold you to it; you may leave when ever you chose." Varhen bowed again before turning to the others, "Lets get a move on, Loghain will be pissed when he finds out about this slaughter."

After a short time Zevran found the instinct to kill Varhen then slink back to the Crows dissipate quickly, for some reason the boy captivated him, soon Varhen erased the thought of boy from Zevran's mind. He was a skilled fighter, and reasonable person, kind hearted and noble, but also a true and good leader. Zevran was forced to re-think what he thought of people in general after he met Varhen, and what he thought of him self.

(End flash back)

Zevran realized as he came out of his musing that he had started petting Varhen's hair. Zevran glanced up to see if any one had seen, but Wynne must have left a while ago, probably with Alistair. Shade had lied down and was sleeping by them. Zevran ruffled the dog's fur, causing to wake up and huff at him.

"Don't give me that look; I know you don't need your beauty sleep." Zevran chuckled. The dog yawned at him, showing he was board and really didn't care what Zevran thought. Zevran stood, Varhen in his arms. Zevran laid him down gently onto the bed. Looking down at the beautiful elf, he thought, 'This man- barley- out of childhood had captured his heart. He could never hurt the young man intentionally, now more than ever, with out killing one of them.'

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I think how they met would be a good way to show how Zevran kind of changes through out this story and in the game… I know in the game the Mabari is brown… I want a black one! That would be so cool! I'd get the red war pain and name it Lust… Like blood lust… Any way! I'd like to know if you liked this chapter, school is going to be hell for a while sooo, I may or mat not get chapters up in quick succession.


	12. Gifts of the Mind

A/N: I own nothing, absolutely nothing, well except for this plot. I will start using Dalish, because now that Varhen has settled into his new life, I want him to start using his own language and I just like elvish so… This chapter however with get vary graphic and depressing ending with some smut. Varhen will admit why he dislikes having someone behind him, or arms wrapped around him from behind. Just all around why he dislikes people being behind him. Oh if you realized my writing style switches from first person to third a lot, I've noticed as well, so this is third and first person. If it goes to Zev I'll make sure to tell you.

This chapter will mostly from Varhen's point of view.

Before in Gifts of the Heart:

"'This man- barley- out of childhood had captured his heart. He could never hurt the young man intentionally, now more than ever, with out killing one of them.'"

Chapter thirteen: past and present

(Varhen's pov)

Opening my eyes again I realized I was in the bed, again. I laid there when I woke up, it felt like I was empty, when I woke up no one was around. I was actually thankful for that; I could lay here and think about what had happened and what would come of it. But I also felt scared, how could I return to the clan after the war at all if I looked like this? How could Zevran ever look at me with any kind of romantic interest again? I let out a shuddering sigh, trying hard to fight back the tears and the not forming in my throat.

I shifted on my back, still uncomfortable, finally giving up on the prospect of escaping into the Beyond I rolled onto my side, trying hard not to sit up and crush the new tail. When I got up I walked to the window, I looked out of it, and leaning on the seal I let my eyes sweep over the part of the city I could see. The clouds had acquired a dark tint, becoming a deep, angry grey almost matching the hues of the stone city below. I knew a storm was fast approaching, the wind carried the sent of rain and thunder rumbled far off and a far away flash signaled the start of an onslaught of pouring rain. The damp sent soon flooded my senses, sending me into memories of running in the rain dampened forest with Tamlen and the others of my clan.

I almost cried, I missed my clan so much, and seeing the stone city around me, made my heart long for the forest and the others. I moved from the window finding the depressing scene too much too bear with things the way they were. The sounds of the storm, however would not leave me be, I'd often pull my self from a depressing train of thought. I tried to focus on something, anything else. I found my focus yet again on my physical changes.

My cat ears, I had found, worked just as well if not better, than my now non-existent elvish ones. The cat ears were now my only ones, and they functioned wonderfully, even if they branded me a monstrosity. My sense of hearing had sharpened not just my hearing but also my other senses had heightened as well. I almost thought it made up for how I had changed, but now I was forever alone.

I looked at my image in the silver hand mirror, I had picked up from the desk. My face stayed the same, with the exception of my ears, eyes, and teeth. No, that was a lie, my features had acquired a slightly more feral look, sharpening slightly and giving me a wilder, almost cat-like appearance.

My eyes looked sharper, they seemed to have a natural black eye-liner around them, bringing out my eyes further. My eyes looked sharper and they seemed more angled. I knew the eye-liner effect would never fade; it was natural as strange as it seemed. Just like a cat I mused, they had the same black line around their eyes. My lips had stayed the same, full but pale. My cheek bones sharpened slightly, bringing to light my maleness. But my face still had the slight softness to it. I almost gave a dark chuckle; one could not gain with out giving it seemed.

"To gain a more male appearance I had to give up my elvin ears and be _gifted _a cat tail and ears?" I sneer, hissing the word 'gifted' like it was a curse, the hissing tone in my voice accenting my words slightly. I had taken note of the change in my voice as well. Now if I hissed something, it sounded like a true hiss, and if I growled in frustration the real feral tone arose in my voice. My voice had not changed at all, I still held my Dalish accent but the tone of anger or frustration I could achieve now varied greatly from before.

I found my self suddenly angered by my reflection. It taunted me, never letting go of the cruel fact that I would never fit in with even my own people, ever again. This realization hit me with the weight of a ton of rock, never again could I return to them… I could never go back to the clan.

I froze, the mirror slipped from my hand. I thought I heard it shatter as it collided with the stone floor but I was sucked into my own horror. I was never going back, I was forever lost. I had no one; the others would not stay with me now, surely. I looked like a monster! Why would they even want to stay? I knew they loved me like a brother or son but I would not, could not blame them for being disgusted with me, with my appearance.

A hand grabbing my shoulder pulling me from my thoughts, whirling I was crouched against the wall as thoughts of what had happened many years ago flooded my mind. I was breathing hard the panic evident on my face as my eyes locked with a golden pair. Zevran moved back holding out his hands, palm up, in a sing of peace. He didn't say a word but only gave me a look of sympathy and understanding. I wanted to hug him and cry onto his shoulder, as he knelt down edging closer to me, but I held back completely unsure of myself.

I shook my head leaning back against the wall as I wrap my arms around my pulled up knees and warp my tail around my legs. Zevran frowns at this, he had slowly convinced me to stop this action, but it came back to me like a fond memory.

"Why is it I had not seen the sings earlier? Varhen may I ask how that happened to you of all people? I could never see you submitting to something like that." He whispered his accent called to me, sending shivers through my body and oddly calming some of the slow to fade panic.

"It is long in the past. I-I did not want to submit but… I was not strong enough to push them away; I was very young at the time. The memories are blurred but I remember enough to know what they did to me." I whimper looking at the floor; Shade whines and crawls toward me rubbing my arm with his cold, wet nose. I wrap an arm around his furry shoulders, rubbing the warm fur. He sits by my side resting his head on my knee. Zevran moves to sit on my other side, leaning against the wall as well.

"So they did force them selves on you? May I ask who and how?" I glanced at the other man, weary of his lack of anger or disgust. His level voice sparked a deep sense of fear and hope in me.

"I got separated from the other hunter apprentices and wandered to close to a human encampment…" The memories of beating and starvation flooded back as I admitted this to Zevran, "They beat and starved me, and when they got board of the pleas for mercy they would walk away leaving my tied up inside the main tent. One night they got drunk, and every thing went down hill from there, after that night they seemed to find me more of a toy then a bag of meat they could senselessly beat. They did not wish to look at me, so I was never allowed to look at them so they tied me down, that's why I panic when someone's behind me…" My eyes looked ahead unfocused as the memories flooded my senses.

"If there had not been a woman among them I probably would have learned to hate all humans… But she was different than the others, she tended my wounds and would sneak bread and water too me, so I did not starve. She made sure that I stayed warm on nights. It was fall and winter fast approaching; I could have easily died of the cold. She tried to get me out of the camp, to save me but failed." My voice cracked and tears threatened to spill over again.

"She was killed." Zevran stated softly, it almost seemed as if he thought I'd shatter at any loud or sudden noise. His hand came to rest gently on my shoulder, I looked at him openly now, tears blurring my vision, and making it hard to search his face for sings of disgust or anger.

"They killed her. Made a show out of it, and then threw her body in a ditch far away from the camp. They did not want to have to deal with the stench of a corps. They did not cover the body however, and that proved to be their grave mistake. Tamlen found the body while he was out searching for me; the clan had been there for about a month already and had stayed an extra six weeks thanks to my disappearance." I murmur, I had drifted out of reality and found my self in the company of the cruel thieves and bandits again, tied to a stake inside the tent. Zevran rests a hand on my lower arm, bringing me out of the dark flashes of pain and fear.

"You were held captive by these men for six weeks?" He looked unsurprised, but I could see that something had unsettled him. I nodded resting my head against the wall behind me.

"Give or take a few days yes, my perception of time was not the best in that period of my life. When Tamlen found the body he immediately reported it to the Keeper, who took several of our best hunters with her to investigate. They found the camp and killed the men; they were of no high standing, just a group of cheep mercenaries in the woods, looking for easy prey. Instead they found my clan." I paused letting out a dark chuckle as I recalled the screams of rage and pain as the men were slaughtered out side the tent I was hidden away in.

I remembered the fear of what was killing them being suffocated by the glee of not being the one screaming for once in a long time. I had been laughing hysterically when Tamlen had found me. He got the Keeper to come to the tent to see to my wounds. I had not been sane enough to realize what had happened and had fainted from the abuse before Tamlen and the keeper got back to me.

"There had been elves with them as well, which possibly strengthened my thoughts that not all humans are evil and vile," My voice cracked again and I took several deep breaths before I could continue. Resting my chin on Shade's head I continued.

"When they found me I was half dead, it had been six or seven days since I had eaten anything at all. The keeper told me later that I was lucky to have survived for such a long time under that treatment. She would have not blamed me for taking my own life she said. I was mortified that they knew what the men had done to me, but the keeper assured me she was the only one who knew. Tamlen told me he knew as well, that he'd been the one to find me…" I finally broke down into tears hugging my legs tighter and burying my head in my knees. Shade whined and rubbed my cheek with his nose, trying to cheer me up. I started shaking the images of pain flooding my mind over and over, erasing my stability and focus, casting me back into the black days of my past.

"T-this pr… This proves them right! I… I'm just a freak, a worthless animal." I whisper. The tears spill over with those words and the sobs rack my shoulders I can't keep my emotions checked my wits have fled, leaving me senseless. I can't help the waves of despair, but all of a sudden a strong pair of arms was wrapped around my shoulders and I'm shocked out of my fears.

"This proves nothing, but a fact every one around you has learned to accept and admire. You are a strong man, Varhen. A fearless leader and one of the most amazing people I know. You were given an indescribable opportunity, Varhen. You have no idea how hard it was to say that mush… Do you realize what that blood mage did?" Zevran moved back from me staring into my eyes the whole time, I was utterly confused. Zevran however was truly saying what he said because he was in fear of why the beautiful elf before him was saying such things about him self.

"Turning me into a half cat freak is not an amazing opportunity, all I can see coming from this is disgust and hate, Zevran. How can you even look at me like I'm still a treasure! You know I sat here trying to figure you out? You confuse me so much sometimes… But you're the only person who keeps me sane. How? How can my life be this confusing? I can't even begin to imagine why you choose _me_ over some one more attractive. " I groan, resting my head in my hands, Zevran for some reason was getting harder and harder to ignore. Something was… something in the room was making it difficult to tear my eyes from him.

I couldn't keep my self focused, and then I realized it was a sent, it was a beautiful, alluring sent. My eyes unfocused again and I couldn't help but blush at the heat that flooded through my body 'What in the Beyond is going on?' Then it hit me, my senses were heightened to an extreme, and the only other person in the room besides me was Zevran.

(Third person)

The familiar, addicting, divine sent was Zevran's. Varhen remembered the sent from the times they'd slept by each other… Varhen would practically melt after Zevran pushed him to his limit and Varhen would pull Zevran to him, laying half on top of the older male resting his head on Zevran's shoulder so he could always smell that faint sent that was unique to his Zevran.

"Are you insane, Varhen? Why chose a woman in stead of this divine body?" Zevran said catching the unfocused gaze and immediately placing the problem as what it was. Zevran moved so he was on his knees in front of the younger elf, moving his face closer to the others until there was little space between the two. Zevran moved closer running a hand down the back of Varhen's leg, the hand coming to rest on the younger's hip. Placing one hand by Varhen's shoulder on the wall, Zevran wanted to see how much of the dark past Varhen still carried with him after all this time.

""Z-Zevran, I… "Now Varhen was completely unfocused, the sent was so intoxicating with the source only inches away, Varhen felt himself want to taste the coppery toned skin that was oh so close to his lips. Images of all the dirty things Zevran knew how to do to him swirled in Varhen's mind. Varhen swallowed thickly, this wasn't going to end well for him.

"You what Varhen?" The Antivan whispered into his ear and that snapped what little restraint Varhen still held.

"I want you to…" Varhen faltered he didn't know what exactly he wanted Zevran to do truly. Varhen started to relax, for some reason he was calmed by the presence of the older elf. His tail unraveled from around his legs letting them relax from their pulled up position and he leaned against the wall as he rested his palms on the ground by his sides.

(Varhen's pov)

"What am I to do, Love?" Zevran purred running his hand back up the back of my leg, I swallowed, this was taking a dirty turn, and I had no control over where I might end up. I lean forward and kiss Zevran before I can think about what I'm doing. Zevran reacts instantly, pulling me forward to press against him. I wrap my arms around his neck, opening to him when he runs his tongue along my lower lip. He wasted no time in claiming every inch of my moth which quickly had me moaning into the heated kiss.

Reluctantly I pull away for the air both of us need. I panted resting my fore head against his, and with my eyes closed I could almost pretend I wasn't purring. I tried to ignore the fact my tail was swishing happily side to side. I let out a surprised gasp when I felt Zev rub my cat ears with his fingertips, but almost instantly I felt heat run through me and an intense need to rub back against the hand toying with my new cat ears.

"Z-Zevran, wh… What are you doing?" I stutter, completely caught off guard by the situation I started to squirm in Zevran's lap. Zevran smirked as I moaned finally trying desperately to get him to move his fingertips across the rest of my ear, instead of settling for just the tip. Finally I gave up hinting at it with small bumps to his hand with my head.

"Please!" I couldn't take the teasing any more and it felt oddly amazing it had caused me more than a few problems on my lower half, however; I really needed to do something before I exploded.

"Hmm? What could ever be bothering you my little Kitten?" Zevran chuckled leaning down to nip at my neck, which caused me to let out a small gasp and buck my hips forward. At the feel of the deer hide pants I wore rubbing at my groin I let out a soft mewl of pleasure, immediately blushing at the sound I'd just made. Zevran let out a soft chuckle, the vibrations running through me from where our chests connected.

"I-I couldn't, I didn't mean to-umf" I was cut off mid ramble by persistent lips distracting me from the hand that trailed its way down my clothed chest. I was too distracted by the tongue that was trying to devour my moth to notice the feel of the ties in the pants coming undone. However, how hard Zevran may try to be sneaky I was sensitive to certain things and feeling fingertips brush against my half hard erection was hard to ignore, I had to pull away from the kiss. I let lose several curses in Dalish, all of course praising the intense sweep of heat that washed through me. I looked at Zevran skeptically, unsure if I was dreaming or this was some sick joke. Seeing the unsure look in my eye Zevran set about to distracting my attentions yet again.

"My little Kitten need to relax, I think I know the purr-fect method…" He teased me making me blush and duck down slightly, my tail wrapping nervously around my waist. I heard a soft amused chuckle come from the older man before all of a sudden I was hosted to my feet and pressed against the wall with Zevran running his hands down my sides, his lips inches from mine.

"Zev, what are you doing?" I asked, confused but also incredibly relaxed into him. For some reason I couldn't care less if I had pink skin and bright blue hair, Zevran had my full attention at the moment. I had noticed the change from the moment I realized the sent was what was clouding my mind, my breathing had quickened, my heart was pounding, and my whole body quivered in excitement. Zevran was like an overly addicting drug, and I was going through withdrawal. I needed a good hit of my Zev.

"Hmm… I think that question should be answered with a question… What do you think I'm doing, Varhen?" He purred running a hand back up to rest just above my pants line teasing the opening, causing me to glance down quickly before catching his eyes again. I gasped in shock when I felt his hands on the back of my thighs pulling them up to wrap around his waits which had me also wrapping my arms around his neck to keep balanced.

"That question deserves an answer… I believe you're trying to get me to submit to a night of distractions….. And seeing how much I still let haunt me." I murmur smirking lightly at the mischievous light in my Zevran's eyes. His smirk mirrored mine, I quickly understood his intentions and knew this may bring back memories but _Zevran_ would never hurt _me _the way _they_ had.

"Do you trust me? If you wish to not do what I have in mind I'll relent." Zevran said levelly looking me in the eyes, the mischief dulling for a moment.

"I trust you, Zevran." I had so much more I wanted to say to him, but knew he was not one for mushy confessions. I leaned forward to prove my point and kissed his lips, just to tease I nipped at his lower lip with my teeth, and let out a small begging mewl. My eyes widened and I wriggled in embarrassment. I had not known I could mewl… that was a lie… I didn't know I could make it sound like _that_.

"I wonder if I can draw any more interesting little noises out of you tonight…" Zevran purred, my head had turned from him and I was blushing like mad, but I could not stop the rush of excitement and sudden longing that washed over me.

"Well then find out, my master." I purr back my boldness surprised us both, but as usual Zevran recovered faster than I did.

"Well, well the kitten wishes to play then? I'll be happy to oblige." He smirked at me, a predatory look flashing in his eyes. I almost whimpered, the thought of Zevran now having total control was a scary thought, but I knew that Zevran would never do something like what they'd done. I took a deep breath as he lowered me down onto the bed, I quickly shifted into a laying position that didn't squish or hurt my tail.

"Zev… If you want… tie my hands down…" I mutter blushing looking off to the side, to nervous about my predicament to really care about the heat in my cheeks. I feel the cool leather run over my forearm and I can't stop the soft whimper that slips passed my lips. Zevran paused giving me a questioning glance I just leaned up and nipped his lower lip.

"I'm sure, Zevran, truly it may be rather memorable experience." I assure him giving a soft grin. I'm truly terrified of the thought; I'd be open to any attack if Zevran wished it. I lashed at my own mind for such a thought; Zevran would never hurt me like that. I held a breath as he bound my wrists to the head board, now I was open completely to him and had to take hold of my trust in him.

(Zevran's Pov)

I could see the hesitation and slight fear and panic flash in Varhen's eyes, and I felt a pang form in my chest, I wanted him to trust me completely. I knew what I felt was different then when we first slept together, but now… now I have this longing to see him happy, to see him smile and feel his trust, his trust in me. I blinked to clear my mind Varhen had closed his eyes, trying to calm his quivers. Of excitement or fear I could not truly tell, but I guessed the later. I smirk softly a sly plan un-coiling in my mind.

"I want you, Varhen, but only with your permission…" I pause to give him a passionate kiss, "Will I take you." I murmur against his lips. Varhen blushes the intoxicating shade that only he could, and I find my self smirking at his dilated, now cat-like pupils. Varhen shifts his body, his hands remaining tied to the head board. His wide silver eyes shone with an intoxicating light.

"I… I give you permission…" the soft hesitation was cute, because I knew Varhen had not hesitated out of fear but surprise. I smirk and kiss him again, letting the night be consumed by passion and need. The room was filled with all sorts of interesting little noises, which just made me want to hear him scream my name even more. I spent hours toiling over Varhen's pleasure as well as mine. Hearing that last cry from his lips finally brought me to the edge and pulled me over, groaning his name.

Varhen was toughly exhausted by the time I had finished with him. I smirked as he laid there limp, not willing to move yet basking in the after glow of his release. I untied his hand which he just let lay there. He surprised me by turning onto his side to face me a soft blush on his cheeks his silver eyes looking at the sheets; I could tell he wished to say something so I teased it out of him.

"Are the sheets really that interesting?" I murmur giving him a questioning stare. His reaction is just what I'd thought; he ducks down slightly blushing an even more vivid shade of pink.

"I… Ma serannas, Zevran." Varhen whispered, I was struck speechless, Varhen had only used elvish with two others Alistair and Wynne. He had on accession used the term Lethallin or Lethallan for the people around the camp as well as myself, but that was common. I had never heard Varhen use elvish toward me in this fashion. I tried to remember from my time with the Dalish the meaning of the words, but it escaped me.

"Varhen, may I ask what you meant by Ma serannas?" I ask, now slightly embarrassed myself. Varhen looked up as me smiling slightly, an affectionate light shining in his eyes.

"Ma serannas, it means thank you. If… I could teach you some elvish if you wished." I couldn't believe me ears, Varhen wished to teach something like that to me? The Dalish held many thing dear, some times to a point that seemed childish, but after hearing things about the history from Varhen, a bit more understandable. The fact he wished to teach me surprised me greatly.

"That would be enjoyable." I purr at him smirking slightly. This was an honor beyond words, I felt a strange feeling I'd felt all the time now, joy.

(Third person)

Varhen just smiled, "Manuvenin, emma lath." saying that he curled into Zevran and feel asleep.

Zevran laid there for a moment mulling over what this could mean, before shaking his head. Wrapping a protective arm around Varhen's waist as he pulled the blanket up around them and then Zevran also fell asleep.

A/N: I truly hope you enjoyed this chapter; I've been slaving over it forever! Not really it was important and I enjoyed developing Varhen further. So here! Please! Review! You see the blue button under this? Yeah that one. Press it and then write something, please!

Oh! Before i for get! Translations!

Ma serannas: thank you.

Manuvenin: As you wish.

Emma lath: My love


	13. Past and Present

A/N: I understand that the appearance of the cat ears and tail is something that should be answered; I hope to do so in this chapter. Varhen's predicament was caused by the blood mage though, just to put it out there. Any way, I should probably tell you, my readers, that Zevran knows what Varhen was turned into. I've recently been absorbed in school work, so forgive me for the delay in starting this chapter. I'm sorry if Varhen seems so insecure, but take his past into account, who knows what those men said, so naturally, Varhen is vary sensitive and self concise. I want him to seem more normal; however, I want him to be a unique character.

Before in Gifts on the Heart:

"Wrapping a protective arm around Varhen's waist as he pulled the blanket up around them and then Zevran also fell asleep. "

Chapter fourteen: Gifts of Tevinter

Varhen woke in a small haze, every thing seemed perfect, Zevran's unique and divine sent, a combination of exotic spices and something else made him feel safe and warm, he could also feel an arm wrapped around his waist. He nuzzled further into the addicting Antivan elf, not wanting to give up the warmth quite yet. The hand that was running through his hair finally caused him to look up, giving the older man a questioning look.

"You open your eyes… They're the color of molten silver, you know?" Zevran murmured, leaning down slightly, he runs a hand over the pale cheek stopping to rest on a marked neck. Varhen tries not to purr, desperately wanting to forget he could even make that sound. He ducks down slightly blushing like a maiden, when the sound floats into the air.

"I have heard such, yes." Varhen says blushing and looking away slightly. Zevran can see he has touched a sore wound and begins to get curious.

"From Tamlen?" Zevran asks propping himself on an elbow to get an advantage over Varhen. The nod of the elf below him confirmed what Zevran had suspected. He thought to him self, 'Have I gone about how to help Varhen all wrong? I have no other way to help him; I highly doubt I would make a good confident…' The younger and paler elf looked up seeing that Zevran was thinking deeply and watched with confusion as a look of guilt and pain flashed through the honey gold eyes.

"Zevran, what is it you think of that causes you guilt and pain?" A feeling of dread settled in his gut, 'Have I done something to upset his trust in me? Has he grown board?" The soft rise of panic was quickly noticed by the assassin.

"It is something that troubles me for many reasons. However, let me tell you this, it is not something that will invoke leaving you bereft of my exceptional skills." He caught the relived sigh Varhen let slip past.

"And what skills might those be?" Varhen murmured, snuggling closer to Zevran, not quite ready to get up and face the day. Varhen curled up against the warm body next to him, Zevran made him feel safe and protected… and he felt something else for some reason he couldn't explain and it was hard for him to admit that he didn't know the strange feelings that Zevran brought about.

"The kinds that make you scream incoherent things…" Zevran purred at the younger, almost laughing at the roll of the silver eyes and the soft blush they tried to disguise. Running a hand down Varhen's back and stopping at the base of the cat tail, Zevran could see the soft fidget and twitch of the tail, Varhen was obviously worried about something to do with it.

"You're still worried about the tail and ears are you not?" Zevran sighed softly, looking at the younger man, who was still fidgeting, barley, but still fidgeting. Varhen risked a glance up to the disapproving stare leveled at him, and his fidgeting started anew with even more energy.

"I'm worried about every thing that changed. It is not just the tail and ears… The line around my eyes, that makes them look curved and cat-like. And not avoiding the fact my pupils now have that oval shape that also makes me look wilder. The fangs… I worry over the effect it may have on… Never mind it was a stupid thing to hope for in the first place. Even when I was just a plain Grey Warden it was a pointless fantasy." Varhen stated rolling onto his other side to hide his face from Zevran.

"You don't have to hide from me. I can understand if you don't tru-"Zevran was cut off by Varhen flipping over in one quick and fluid movement, and pressed their lips together in a passionate and desperate kiss.

"Please, never finish that sentence." Varhen whispered against Zevran's lips, Zevran noted that the one straddling his waist was trying hard to fight back tears, that fact didn't let him feel at all happy. "I trust you; I could never say I don't. It is not that I don't trust you. I don't trust my self when I'm with you. You make all these feelings that are so new and… and just so, I don't know… I feel safe, protected, and this sense of completion… I don't trust my self because I'm just scared of doing something stupid, like this and ruining every thing. I-I know you don't like things like this, that you have a hard time discussing emotions, you told me such the first night that I… t-that I let you take me… And I should never have done this I'm such a fool!" Varhen tried to get up and move away from Zevran, the tears making them selves known in his shaking voice as well as finally spilling over to make an invisible trial down his cheeks.

Zevran grabbed Varhen by the waist halting his movements, then flipping them so Varhen was pinned under him. Stroking the pale cheek, whipping the tears from the pale velvet skin, "No, you are not. And I believe I said I had trouble saying I was…" Zevran's voice faded, a sudden hesitant expression crossing his normally calm face. Varhen looked at it and gave a sad, but understanding nod.

"You don't have to say it. I know you don't wish to." Varhen's reply, spurred something the assassin had long thought dead. A hard determination settled in his golden eyes, a determination to prove something. The silver eyes that were down cast, and held an uncertainty in them, they fuelled a flame inside the ex-Crow.

"No, I do wish I could say it… I just don't know how. Forgive me; I'm acting like a child. I do have the same feelings as you in a sense, I feel complete when I hear my name on your lips, a deep longing to protect you and keep you safe, and… something deeper I thought I was not capable of." Zevran sighed and closed his eyes, the hand supporting him slipping around the slim waist and pulling him up to the point their chests molded together. Opening his golden eyes to look into the silver ones below him, "I want you. The only way I can say it… truly I am not the best in this area." Zevran said with a disguised chuckle. Varhen blinked at him in surprise, the man was admitting he felt some thing for Varhen as well as saw something inside him. This was a shock, Varhen saw little in him self, always wondering when the Assassin would grow board and leave him behind.

"I doubt my own value, but I know how you feel. I know I have a habit of doubting my self and what others see in me… A quality I didn't always have. I wish I didn't always contradict my self, I try my hardest to make other feel happy or hopeful, yet when I turn to help my self, I falter and become uncertain that I have earned happiness. I want to prove to myself I'm worth something… I just don't know how, and with what happened the hope I could return one day to my clan shattered and I know I'll never fit in to any group and that scares me. I'll be alone forever, I-I don't… I just can't, the thought…" Suddenly Varhen had his arms around Zevran's neck with his head buried in the crook of the assassin's neck, tears blurring everything.

"I'll never let that happen. I swear to you I'll never leave you alone. Never again will I let you get hurt." The vow surprised them both and Zevran knew he'd fallen through the thinning sheet of ice on the lake of his thawing heart. The shock of the cold water he had just thrown him self into rooted him to the spot. He knew he had said it, not directly, but he had laid his defenses down. Varhen had also, and so now they both laid with the other open to anything.

"I still have to keep my word to start your lessons in elvish, that way you can insult Alistair with out him knowing… But let me warn you the Dalish language is broken, a good deal of the Dalish culture is lost to us." The hesitant offer lightened the sweep of ice Zevran had felt, but some how now that the ice had cracked he felt lighter… free. Varhen felt the same; he had told Zevran something he had never been willing to speak about to any one. Tamlen and the Keeper knew that he had been mistreated and neglected, but not the full truth, never the whole story. Varhen always felt the need to cry, but it was like the thing that had weighed his thoughts at times almost driving him insane had finally been lifted.

"Thank you, Varhen." Zevran lowered his head to give the younger a light kiss, pulling away he looked toward the doors, "The Arl asked that when you woke if you would speak with him. Every one wishes to learn what has happened to you, and I think I may know. Let us get dressed, by the way a package was sent to us while you were… unconscious, we have no idea who sent it but it's been thoroughly checked over and is safe, it's an out fit that seems to be made for you, it is rather attractive, I think you may like it, and I'd like to know if it fits you, I've been fantasizing how you'd look in it." The Antivan smirked as Varhen's eyes first betrayed confusion, then hesitant curiosity. Zevran just grinned as the silver eyes looked at him in a questioning manner.

"How am I going to wear this new out fit? The only reason I had been wearing pants earlier was because someone cut a hole in them." Varhen asked skeptical and slightly curious about who and why someone would send him something.

"They are unique; they seemed to be made for you." With that reply the Assassin reluctantly pulled away from the now intrigued Varhen. However, the thought about what the previous night had felt like, being in total control with Varhen tied down writhing under him. Zevran had a sudden rush of longing to touch the pale velvet skin that was bare to his roaming eyes.

"Zevran, if you worship my body with your eyes any longer I am sure I will turn scarlet." Varhen said, looking away from the bronzed torso that was fully open and sinfully inviting. His eyes wandered back against his will, devouring the sculpted body, he groaned flopping back down onto the bed.

"Expect me to turn into a blushing maiden as well?" Zevran half joked, quickly noticing the pained look on Varhen's face, "What wrong?" He asked moving closer to the tensed body, worry frowning his brow.

"My tail..." Varhen admitted blushing despite the tears of pain that blurred his eyes, "I didn't think before I flopped back down. I landed in a rather unpleasant position." Varhen moved in a quick and graceful manner as he got up to ease the sharp pain running up and down his spine.

"You know, I have methods to erase pain from the mind…" The Ex-Crow hummed, a soft playful smirk settling in place. His arms wrapped around the pale waist from behind, knowing full well what would happen. Varhen's muscles tensed and his breathing quickened, memories looming over the broken gate of Varhen's shattered mind. Zevran felt an enragement toward the mercenary bastards that made Varhen this way. Slowly Zevran let his hands cares Varhen' front, drifting down as the tensed muscles under them relaxed. Soon Varhen's body had relaxed into Zevran's and his breath was coming in short gasps as Zevran finally reached his goal, Varhen moaned throwing his head back in ecstasy.

"Zev…" Varhen gasped, his mouth moaning out several sentences in Dalish, Zevran had a small understanding of. Leaning over the melting form in his arms, he bit at the pale neck, extremely happy with the response. Varhen's body arched into the Assassin, the pale hand coming up to tangle in the golden hair and encourage the nipping teeth.

"In Antiva I would be whispering such lurid things into your ears; do you have any objections to me doing so? I can even translate."Zevran suggested a smirk playing on his lips. The soft whimper held no objections and soon Varhen was caressed by the sinful Antivan accent of his lover.

"Are you two ever going to stop thumping each other? I mean for Makers sake Varhen's ribs still need to heal." Wynne's voice filtered through the door and Varhen almost screamed. His whole demeanor had changed in the blink of an eye, he glared at the door a soft growl slipping from his throat and his ears were back against his hair almost disappearing in the black silk.

"Calm, Varhen, I'll handle this." Zevran soothed the now aggravated young man, it was another tell-tell sign that his theory on what Varhen had been turned into was correct, this also set light to a quite fear.

"We'll be down in half an hour an hour at most." Varhen answered, surprisingly he got his voice under control and the growl went unheard.

"Alright, you two worry me some times, at least try on the out fit." And with that the voice behind the door disappeared. Varhen groaned, relaxing into Zevran again.

"Why? Why did one simple comment set me on edge? I nearly threw a knife at the door." Varhen turned and kissed Zevran.

"You want to protect. I shouldn't say much else, but would you like me to finish what I started?" The comment made a soft smile spread across the pale lips.

"How about this, I'll return the favor." Varhen said, his silver eyes flashing in an inviting way. He stood in front the Antivan, smirking suggestivly, "Or I can always get ready in five minutes and be board out of my mind for another twenty five."

Zevran smirked, "Do as you will." Saying that the Assassin leaned back to enjoy what the younger man would do. Varhen smirked.

"I belive I've never had the oppertunaty to bring you to release." The statement caught the older man off gaurd, Zevran knew Varhen had always given to others, so when ever he could he had made sure the younger man recived a good deal of attention.

It was easy to see the Dalish hunter disliked seeing people in any kind of distress and would often go to great length to see other's happy, but he was akward about phisical contact, he didn't know how to respond to it. Zevran had also quickly noted the fact Varhen tended to self defeat, often saying how stupid he was if someone got hurt in a fight. And now Varhen was stating he wished to do something that might be painful for him.

"Varhen, are you positive you wish to do this?" Zevran had gotten up and now had his arms wrapped around the figiting elf. The soft nod was his answer, Zevran sighed.

"I know what I wish to do." Varhen said, his voice sounding more confident then eather he or Zevran had thought. Zevran kissed the back of one of the cat ears.

"Then I will not stand in your way, tell what to do and it is done." The Antivan was hesitant but he couldn't refuse the younger man, the grateful silver eyes locked with his golden ones. Zevran understood that look deep inside the silver eyes, it was love and happyness, almost like he heard the unspoken words he smiled softly down at the paler man, giving him a gentle kiss, before pulling away to await his orders.

"Sit, and let me do the rest." The hesitaint order made a small smirk settle on Zevran's lips, as he moved over to the bed settleing down, leaning against the head bord. Varhen gave a hesitaint yet playful smirk.

He slowly made his way to Zevran running a hesitain hand down a semi-well known path. Zevran relaxed against the headboard and let Varhen do as he wished, not for a moment objecting to the devine treatment, Varhen may not be that expreioncedbut he had payed attention to Zevrans teachings.

-lemon scene PM me if you'd like an uncencored version-

Zevran quickly leanded in to give Varhen a passion filled kiss. Bring the kiss to an end they both know they must get ready now.

"Come now, let's clean up and see if that out fit really does fit you." Zevran's voice seemed reluctant to the young Dalish, it almost seemed as if Zevran did not wish to separate them for even a brief moment, as if he dreading something that had not yet come to pass. His eyes seemed to bear dread, as if he hears the moan of an ill omen on the wind warning of despair and sweeping even the most confident warriors hope away with its chilled voice.

A/N: Hope you like this chapter, well I guess I should stop delaying huh? I'm sorry my hands take on a mind of their own and well… this happens. Please review! Little blue button down there. Click it. Have a nice day!


	14. Gifts of Concern

A/N: Okay, now Varhen is going to reveal what this new out fit looks like, and what the blood mage turned him into… Well not technically turn per say… just brought back, soon you'll understand. Any way, Varhen was able to control his mind (that's how what happened with the mercenaries never came to the forefront), what the Blood mage did, shook his mind, and now Varhen has to relearn how to block those memories. So now Varhen will seem maybe a bit off, and skittish, or have a sudden change in mood, I assure you it's all inter connected to the story and what is happening in the plot. Oh and the title of the chapter should make perfect sense latter in the chapter.

Before in Gifts of the Heart:

"His eyes seemed to bear dread, as if he hears the moan of an ill omen on the wind warning of despair and sweeping even the most confident warriors hope away with its chilled voice."

Chapter fifteen: I've Fallen?

"Alright then, I guess we have delayed long enough… So where is this new out fit? What happened to my old armor?" Varhen said worried about why Zevran would be so troubled, that look… It seemed so hopeless. 'Whatever is troubling him, will come to pass, and if it should come to strike at him then I shall do my best to protect him', the thought kept it's self firmly at the forefront of his mind.

"Well, the new out fit is on the desk, in the first draw on the left, and your old armor… It's beyond me, but there are blood inscriptions on it, they appeared shortly after you fell unconscious, and as they began to show you grew paler and paler, Alistair said something about blood magic, and we had to remove it, the inscriptions were being carved into the armor using your blood. The armor was unusable after the mace crushed the side inward. The Arl has employed the man who made us the drake scale armors; to make you a new set using the best materials they could find. " Zevran pursed his lips knowing this would affect Varhen greatly, and the way Varhen reacted shocked him, the young man blinked slowly and turned toward the window.

"I guess I already knew the armor would no longer be usable… But it still hurts, I expected this out come as soon as that blow fell, well not entirely this outcome, but I'm still shocked to hear it. Was it thrown away?" Varhen turned to look at Zevran, his shoulders sagging and his eyes dull.

"No, when ever anyone tries the armor stays deathly cold, they can't use any thing on it, and not even Wynne has found a spell to destroy it." Zevran moved forward reaching out to encourage the sorrowful face to look up at him, "I know you wish to keep it, but I want you to go near it and actually get a good look before you decide anything. Simply standing near it sends a chill down the spine in a not so pleasant way. Ask the others, we have all been searching for anything that could bring light on the armor and have found legends that talk of similar inscriptions, there are several legends from different parts of Thedas, and we think… we'll, how do I put this. We think you may have been turned into the race that only legends speak of."

"So what you are saying is an old legend could be resurfacing? I guess that could be a possible scenario, I have been through stranger… What about my twin blades, Reth and Revas?" Varhen looked up at Zevran with hope in his eyes, and Zevran smiled. Varhen's eyes filled with joy, he kissed Zevran before quickly pulling on the discarded deer hide pants he always wore humming softly, and carefully making sure his tail went through the hole made for it.

"We should get ready; at least some things remain right." Varhen said a soft smile on his lips. He now stood, half dressed, but he hesitated, unsure of this new outfit. Zevran just chuckled. Walking over to the desk the Antivan pulled out the gift.

They looked like robes, but they were defiantly not mage robes. The first article of the out fit was a shirt; it looked like it was made from silk, the garment was dark green, with a high collar, that would possibly come up high enough to cover the markings around Varhen's neck. The collar had a black band all away around with silver embroidery decorating its sides as well as weaving patterns over it. The hem, and cuffs also had similar designs on them, Varhen reached out taking the new shirt with slight hesitation. Running a hand over the soft and luxurious fabric, it had to be similar to silk, just feel of it and the way it would reflect the light said as much.

"I can't wear this in public, it's so... It's just too much." Varhen said at a loss for adequate words, the shirt would no doubt draw attention to him if he were to wear it. Zevran smirked, were had he gone wrong?

"Varhen, you must, unless you plan to only walk around in plain tight deer skin leggings. As nice as that would be for me, I'm sure others as well as you might find that awkward." Zevran just smiled as Varhen fidgeted half glaring at the older male. Silently the paler male undid the ties at the front of the shirt, which were black, and slipped the garment over his shoulders, but before he could start re-tying them Zevran grabbed his wrists.

"I'll handle this." Zevran purred, running his thumb over Varhen's pulse point on the inside of the pale wrist. Varhen gasped, but was silenced by a kiss, "I just want to make sure it's done right." The smug reply just got the pale elf to roll his eyes. With a quick nip to the pale neck, Zevran tied the black strings into the presentable knot they'd been before.

Letting go of a soft sigh Zevran handed his Griffon the plain black pants that would let him move unrestricted, they fanned out as you went down the leg, letting you move freely, they also had a hole for the new tail. With those on Varhen almost looked like a regal Antivan nobleman, only he was short with pointy ears… Zevran couldn't hide his smirk at the slightly mean thought. As Varhen pulled on some black leather traveling boots, he shot a half glare at Zevran.

"Did you just call me short?" Varhen grumbled half glaring at the older man standing before him.

"Why would I insult you in such a fashion?" Zevran snickered at the light joke, Varhen rolled his eye grinning, just that playful spark in the silver eyes screamed 'you ass'. This new idea popped into Zevran's head, 'I said nothing but it seemed Varhen had heard me, which was a thing the legends spoke of' but it was slightly sketchy in his mind and Zevran couldn't remember exactly what detail his thoughts were chasing around.

"Alright so is this all or do I have to put on even more?" Varhen sighed with a slightly resigned tone. Zevran just grinned handing the piece Varhen had not noticed. It looked like a cross between a robe and a cloak. The garment it's self was mostly black, but in silver cloth attached to the back was a strange symbol, Zevran was reminded of the Halla, it looked like one of the white elven mounts or at least the skull of one.

"Th-that's the heraldry for my clan... This is the sign of the Sabrae, who sent this?" Varhen's pale hands were trembling and his silver eyes were wide in confusion and sudden fear. All the shaking must have made the paper slip from its hiding spot, Varhen looked down at the fallen parchment.

Picking up the paper Varhen read it over before blinking, in utter confusion. The note was a neatly scrawled script; obviously whoever wrote this had a purpose. Zevran reached out and took the note reading it aloud.

"_Dear Varhen,_

_I understand that this may confuse you, but I knew your father. He and I were close friends; it is a heavy sorrow on my shoulders that his story may not be what you think it is. _

_You see I am the Keeper of the Black Stags of the Ferelden Sanctuary. You probably have no idea of what I'm talking about, I forget your mother and father were just too connected to live without the other, although your father may have held on longer to at least explain some of what I'm about to tell you. _

_Your father and mother were called Fallen, because in a sense they feel from the role they'd chosen, not by choice however. No one had a choice… I'm getting off track forgive my ramblings, I need to tell you one important thing to do before I ask that you meet me near the place marked on the map. You must find your mate or mates, you will be able to sense them using scent, they should smell divine to you, but you can also find them through dreams. You see if a strange dream of someone should come to you, try to seek that person out. I'm not sure if I should tell you much more just in case someone should come across this note. _

_ The robes were made by me, they are specialized for the type of Winged One you are. Like I said I knew your father so don't panic about the heraldry on the back. I mean no harm to your clan or you. I knew the Sabrae clan, I lived as one of The People, and I hope they have grown more open to humans and other out siders. Your father was a great Keeper of The People, as well as friend to me, and his lose along with your mothers' weighs my heart like heavy black stones._

_ May the winds fill your wings and the skies be ever open to you young one._

_Sincerely, Keeper Azul."_

Zevran looked at the parchment attached to the note, and there was a map, leading to a cliff near the city of Amaranthine. The city was in the late Arl Howe's land, it was the main source of trade for the mostly agricultural Arling.

"Keeper Azul? Who is he? Why send me this now? How does he… Oh for the love of the Creators why does my life have to be so confusing?" Varhen looked over the robe again noting some of the details that went into the garment, now that he got a closer look at it he noticed that the hem of the robes was lined in silver embroidery, and deep green embroidery in the shape of vines complete with leaves decorated with silver dew.

Varhen followed the many vines up seeing the beautiful craftsmanship wind up the back of the robe and weave together then branch off, only to weave themselves in a final pattern around the Halla skull before splitting off to spread out over the shoulders. The leaves on some of the vines looked as if they had fallen off and now floated down toward the silver hem. The hem of each sleeves had the vines in a wreath like pattern just about a half inch from the very edge of the hem.

"Well it is beautiful, but I highly doubt I could use this in battle, I mean cloth has little resistance against a well turned blade… But what did Azul mean by these being 'specialized for the type of Winged One I am'?" Varhen looked at the beautiful robe for some clue; his eyes came to rest on his clans crest. Then it hit him, 'Winged One'.

"Lin Elgar, Blood Spirit, but those tales have only… I mean… Oh Dear Creators. This can't be true." Varhen now sat frozen looking at the cloak like robe in a new light, 'How could that Blood Mage have had a hand in this? If any of the Creators can hear me now, please guide me, or give me a sign, help me please.' Varhen stiffened; it felt like a hand was on his shoulder, but when he looked he saw no one, but then he felt something else it was like someone stood by him and then it was like he heard a soft voice, a soft song then everything darkened for a split second and Varhen could swear he saw a man standing at his side in robes that looked like the Keepers.

"The blood of our People lives in you, never hide who you are."

The slight dimness faded away and the image dissolved with it. Varhen sat shocked for some time, 'Was that who I think it was? Could that have been my father?' Zevran moved closer to the pale male, uncertain about what just happened, Varhen had stiffened but Zevran had no idea why.

"I have no answers for you, my Griffon. Are... are you alright?" Zevran looked concerned for the younger male and Varhen smiled at him, a warm feeling growing in his heart.

"I am fine, just a little… shocked, I'll wear this, but I think I understand what I am. I'm not sure what you and the others gathered but I think I already know." Varhen murmured, looking back down to the cloak. A soft smile appeared on his pale lips, "Who am I to hide who I am?" He said looking at Zevran with that small smile lighting up his face, the uncertainty was gone, standing before him was the confident elf Zevran had grown used to.

"I've never know you to be the one to hide your heritage, why should this be any different?" Zevran said grinning, leaning down giving the younger a kiss, "Come now, let's not keep the others waiting any longer. Are you ready to speak to Arl Eamon?" Zevran offered a hand in a formal manner getting the younger man to grin, and roll his eyes, before accepting the out stretched hand, once standing Varhen slipped on the cloak. Noticing that the cloak had little emerald button's in silver casing, they almost looked like silver edged leaves, quickly buttoning the four buttons that held the cloak closed at chest level Varhen turned to his Zev.

"So do I look presentable, or are you going to make me look more like a girl than I already do?" Varhen said, raising an eye brow. Zevran just grinned, mischief blossoming in the golden eyes. Varhen groaned.

"Now that you mention it, your hair is so plain, no? Let us fix that…" He snickered creeping toward the younger male, who glared at him, and submitted when his ears were stroked. The soft purr in the room didn't go unnoticed by either of the two men; Zevran smirked while Varhen just blushed.

"Just get it over with." Varhen muttered as Zevran picked up the little brush on the nightstand next to the bed, he sat behind Varhen on the bed bushing the ebony strands back, to hold them before tying them back with a leather thong from his pack. Zevran quickly then separated the hair into three parts before braiding it then tying it off at the end with another leather thong. Zevran quickly moved to stand in front of Varhen, wanting to see his own handiwork.

"Not bad, now, come see for yourself before we go to see the Arl, no?" Zevran liked the way the young man looked like royalty, it appealed to the bronzed elf. A plan unfurled it's self in the Antivan's mind, after the Arl was finished and the day done, he could have this little prince to himself.

The bangs that framed the young Dalish face were only chin length the rest of the night black hair was braided back with two little black cat ears peaking up. The outfit brought out the silver eyes, almost making them shine like stars, the pale skin was mostly covered but what you could see had a beautiful and healthy glow to it.

A nock sounded at the door, Varhen jumped slightly, "Come in." Slowly the wood swung back to reveal the person behind it, Wynne stood looking slightly surprised. She walked forward and looked at Varhen, before giving him a gentle smile.

"It's been about forty minutes; I wanted to check in on you. How are you doing?" Wynne said that motherly concern made Varhen smile.

"I am much better than yesterday, thanks to an extraordinary healer." Varhen said smiling at the elderly mage, "I look like a girl." He stated flatly looking back at the mirror with a mock pout. Wynne just shook her head smiling softly.

"You look fine. Come now, Arl Eamon is waiting for us in his study." Wynne turned out of the room still shaking her head at Varhen.

(Arl's Study)

"Andran atish'an, Arl Eamon." Varhen said softly, crossing his arms in a formal bow, "What is it you wished to speak of?" Varhen stood just inside the door way to the study, unsure of what he should do now that he'd arrived.

Every one turned to look at Varhen, and the young elf's cat ears twitched back and he fidgeted, Sten gave a curt nod to him, while Oghren just gave him a lazy salute, the others looked at him in shock. Alistair was the first to break up the silence by charging forward and crushing the small Dalish in a tight hug.

"If you don't let him go he might emplode from lack of oxygen." Morrigan stated rolling her eyes at the warrior's antics. Varhen was coughing and flailing his arms trying to get Alistair to let him go so he could breath, if the slight gasps of "Air!" were anything to go by. Alistair reluctantly let go of the slightly out of breath elf.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Varhen gasped holding himself up thanks to a wall, he was giving Alistair a mock look of horror, "I just heal and I'm getting attacked... Again!" Every one burst into laughter, except Sten and the old Grey Warden they had rescued from Arl Howe's Estate, Riordan was his name. Then Varhen noticed that the queen was standing in the room and he straightened up assessing her critically. Not sure how much trust could be placed with her.

"There has been unrest everywhere but it is worst in the Alienage, though they have the least cause for complaint, few elves were at the tragedy of Ostagar." Everyone fell silent at the Queen's news and Varhen's companions shoot a few worried glances to the proud elf. Varhen lost all expression on his face and looked coolly at the Queen.

"So I was called to continue my work to stop the civil war and threat of Darkspawn, good." He turned to Arl Eamon, "I don't like her, I won't trust or help her, if she needs something get someone else to do it. I'll go investigate the unrest in that _filth_ the city elves live in." Varhen turned on his heal and left the study, an icy fire in his eyes. Everyone was speechless for a moment, before Leliana looked at Anora.

"You just threw a valuable ally into cold waters." Leliana stated as she gave Anora a blank look before moving out of the room, all of Varhen's companions soon following her, until only Zevran stood by the door way.

"Varhen dislikes people who imply that elves are lowly servants with no better use. You practically just stated that the elves are acting like spoiled children for no other reason but too act as such." With that Zevran turned and followed the others to Varhen's rooms.

Anora stood in shock before glaring after the retreating form 'Throwing a valuable ally into cold water is an understatement. He'll regret that!' After that thought brushed by Anora stormed out of the study and into her rooms leaving Riordan and the Arl alone.

"That didn't go so smoothly." Riordan stated looking down the hall after the large group gathered at the young Warden's door.

"Indeed not. I hope we didn't just lose any advantage we had with Anora, but that's a fools hope. Let's just pray to the Maker we get some other kind of advantage over Loghain." The Arl muttered walking over to his desk to finish his work.

(Varhen's rooms)

"I'll take care of it don't fret my lady… Ring her little neck the petty, stupid…" Varhen hissed under his breath while pacing, his ears were pressed flat against his raven hair almost disappearing, the silver eyes were narrowed in rage, and the sneer exposed one of the glistening fangs. Varhen was enraged.

"You should investigate, Var, the elves are indeed upset and angry. Loghain could have a hand in this." The reasoning voice of Leliana finally calmed the young man down enough to quite his pacing.

"Alright, but this is for the elves not that… Len'alas lath'din." Varhen spat, he closed his eyes taking a quick breath before finally looking at his friends.

"I'm sorry, but I hate people like her. To think anyone is underneath you is foolish and childish. Well if we are to investigate the unrest I should probably straighten up myself." Varhen looked around the room, confused for a moment, "Where are Reth and Revas?" Varhen looked at Zevran sheepishly when the twin blades were presented to him, "Ma serannas."

"You're welcome, but who are you going to bring with you?" Zevran acted indifferent but Varhen saw the concern in the depths of gold. He slipped the blades into their sheaths after getting quick looks at them, and then he strapped the sheaths to his waist.

"Wynne, Alistair, you, and of course my little puppy Shade!' Varhen said happily as the War Hound barked excitedly from his spot on the bed. Zevran just sighed as Varhen patted the black hounds head, and ruffled the fur around the thick neck getting Shade to start wiggling his stump of a tail.

"So you should know that we think…" Wynne began but Varhen held up a hand, stopping her. He nods to her before shifting for a moment.

"I know I'm a Lin Elgar, a Blood Spirit, although you probably found something by another name, yes?" Varhen sat on the bed looking at Wynne with a strangely calm look in his eyes.

"How did you find out, I thought everyone agreed to tell you together?" Leliana stated shooting a quick glance to Zevran, who just shrugged. Varhen sighed and got up patting Shades side.

"A letter I received with this attire mentioned 'Winged One' I pieced it together from there. A winged One is also known as Lin Elgar, Blood spirit. To most other cultures they are known as something else i guess, but there are a few relatively new legends in the Dalish clans. I guess I'm considered a Fallen, someone who has either betrayed his or her brethren or chosen to live outside them in secrecy, or is born into a Fallen lineage." Varhen sighed as he began pacing again, "We know little really, only that a great war waged between the Spirit shifters and some dark force and then the Winged Ones Vanished along with their foes."

"Well I guess we should head down to the Alienage, we've delayed long enough, and I've already gathered my healing supplies and other necessities." Varhen got up and headed out the door showing his comfort with the topic had become shaky and he no longer wished to discuss it. Thier next stop was the armory.

A/N: So how'd you like this chapter? Please tell me through PM or Review!

Translations: (please remember this is only to the best of my ability)

Lin Elgar – Blood Spirit.

Reth – Safety.

Revas – Freedom.

Andaran atish'an – Formal elven greeting.

Ma serannas – Thank you.

Len'alas lath'din – dirty child no one loves. (It's an insult. The meanest one I could find.)

If you would like to find the definitions yourself, I used Dragon Age Wiki.


	15. I've Fallen?

A/N: I know last chapter didn't go into depth about what Varhen has been turned into but don't worry, I plan to explain in more depth as the story goes on. In this chapter I'm taking us one step closer to the Landsmeet. I'm sorry for the long wait but my chapter some how ended up in two different places, my thumb drive then my family laptop, so when I reloaded my copy on the thumb drive to the laptop I messed up and got stuck with the laptops copy which meant I was sent back a few paragraphs. Enough of my ramblings! Well I hope the chapter makes the wait worth while, please read it and leave me a long review about how blond I was for messing up and making you guys wait so long k?

Before in Gifts of the Heart:

"Varhen got up and headed out the door showing his comfort with the topic was shaky and he no longer wished to discuss it."

Chapter sixteen: Are you Sleeping?

Varhen had stopped by the armory to find that the armor that was being made for him was almost complete; all that need finishing was the gloves and boots, so the main armor was finished and battle ready. Wade insisted that he see how the armor fit, and got Varhen give in and submit to the request.

After slipping into a room off to the side Varhen quickly slipped out of the cloak and pulled the chest piece over the emerald shirt and fastened the buckles and ties. The armor seemed to be made from dragon bone, with a reinforcing layer of silverite, or at least that is what Wade had said, but it fit and that was what mattered to Varhen.

Moving he found Wade had worked his magic; the armor did not restrict his movements and was light, which kept Varhen's movement fast and precise. Just as he crouched down to leap forward however he found a flaw, the leg guards were too lose, which would make fighting a pain. Varhen rolled forward deciding against the leap, which would have ended badly.

The chest armor in one word, perfect, along with the leather belt with several spots he could secure his knives and other blades. The leg guards and other bits however, needed to be re-sized because they were too loose on the lithe elf. Varhen pulled his cloak over the chest armor and pulled up the hood to cover the cat ears, not wanting to startle the Master Blacksmith.

"The leg guards and such are too loose; they would slow me down and make me vulnerable." Varhen stated giving the blacksmith the facts and leg armor he required, Wade seemed to accept this had turned to set about re-sizing the armor, muttering about ways he could make art. Varhen had guessed as much seeing Wade was not one to deal with much outside of his craft. Even if he wanted to look at his old armor he had other matters to attend to. So with no further delays the group set out to the Alienage to investigate the unrest there.

Varhen grew nervous when they stepped out of the Arl's estate and into Denerim, and all of his companions could sense it. Varhen's normally fluid and graceful movements became slightly stiff and halting, he also kept pulling the hood lower as if it would help with the strange looks he was receiving for having Dalish heraldry on his back.

Shade walked quietly by his masters' side, looking up to the elf's face every so often as if to check on him, and growling at anyone who dared to jeer at the young man. Zevran also walked at the younger's side as if to ward off any who might try and hurt the Dalish, but Shade did his part to intimidate the people in the market.

Varhen just seemed to tighten into knots as the scent of the city became more rancid as they approached the Alienage and Varhen almost retched; he had thought the city was a slum before, now he knew it was much worse. The heightened senses were turning out to be a curse. Varhen tried not to gag or cry when they finally got inside the walls of the Alienage.

Stopping when they saw a human being harassed by some elves, Varhen walked closer causing the elves to run off and the human glared at him and be incredibly racist before storming off. Varhen muttered several elvish curses under his breath while glaring and sneering at the retreating human. Zevran let a hand rest on Varhen's' shoulder, and then they continued on to the cause of the growing rancid odor.

It was a dead and decaying dog, along with a blood puddle that smelled of rotten eggs, Varhen would have puked if Zevran hadn't moved closer to him, taking off the edge of the disgusting stench with his divine scent. Varhen covered his mouth and nose with a hand thinking 'By the Creators this place smells like it crawled out of the most disgusting hole imaginable! How can anyone stand to live here?'

Varhen suddenly came to a stop; he looked up from the ground even if his sensitive eyes felt like they'd been stabbed at the sudden change in light. He moved his hand down back to his side, his ears twitching. Varhen was not interested it the sights of the run down ally way they stood in, he heard something above all the white noise of the city. The sound was chilling, and something felt off, wrong. However, it did not sound like an evil thing rather it almost sounded like the sighs of a great number of people forming a haunting melody. It was just wrong.

"What is that?" Varhen murmured, he had his head tilted his narrowed eyes searched the area, but he spotted the giant tree the elves proudly displayed in the center of their horrid living area, and everything seemed to fall silent to the stunned man.

Growing up he had always heard how backward the elves in an Alienage were, but based on everything he had seen so far they were not much different from the clans in many ways . The giant tree proved this and just took the breath from him; none of the elves here seemed to know the creators, and yet they displayed a gleaming gem of the forest.

The tree proved they at least took pride in their heritage, and it just did not fit with what he had heard. He couldn't help but be happy about this, because it meant these elves would at least fight if they were given cause to protect their families and home.

"Beautiful, how can this survive here?" Varhen whispered quietly to himself, that's when they heard the voices crying out, Varhen turned to see a young woman with short red hair, yelling at a crowd of people, but what caught Varhen's eye were the three men in mage robes.

Varhen grew uneasy; the robes looked strikingly familiar to the robes of that blond elven blood mage. A cold harsh fact dawning that the robes were practically the same. A chill ran through him and he let out a soft whimper, and moved away from the crowd and closer to some shadows. Zevran grew worried and reached out a hidden hand to the small of Varhen's back.

"They look like him, I do not want to be here, what if he is one of them?" Varhen eyes were a step away from madness, he kept looking at the mages then Zevran then back again, he was scared. Flashes of the strange blond mage were in every shadow Varhen was seconds from breaking down. Zevran gave him a soft look before coxing him back to reality.

"If he is here would you let him roam free with no one to guard the people here?" Zevran's little plan to play Varhen's sense of good and evil worked, Varhen's eyes focused as did his mind. Varhen shook his head making a small smirk play on Zevran's lips, "Let's investigate, shall we?" Varhen gave him a small smile, showing he knew Zevran's play, but the younger elf nodded.

Varhen let his eyes wander back to the mages again, he convinced himself to remain calm, these men were dressed for show he could see the gold embroidery and shining copper bits and pieces. They'd be easy to fool. As long as he did not show his ears or tail he'd be fine, hopefully.

Varhen skirted the large mass of people, heading toward the edge of the Alienage, and spotted a Templar, he saw the pale film over the seemingly blue eyes, Varhen has seen people with similar eyes the man must have been blind. It was as good a place to start as any, and the man may know what was rattling the Alienage. The strange Melody of sighing voices and the tingling feeling of wrongness faded as the moved away from the Orphanage, and toward the bald Templar.

Varhen paused unsure how to speak to the man, he seemed to be in thought and Varhen did not wish to be rude, or startle the man. Shade looked up at Varhen and huffed then trotted closer to the Templar and barked, lifting a paw to pat at the hand he was closest to. The Templar seemed startled but looked down, and reached out hesitantly, it helped that Shade moved into to the reach of the hand. Varhen gapped at the dog in shock as the Templar patted the furry head.

"I'm terribly sorry Sir; Shade has a mind of his own…" Varhen began but the Templar just smiled, waving a hand his blind eyes showing gentleness that allowed Varhen to feel calm.

"Don't worry, I wasn't bothered, so this hound is yours? Come closer child I still have some sight to see you by. What's your name?" The Templar pated Shades head, as he looked up toward Varhen, squinting just a bit, the soft smile was not affected as he spotted the Dalish tattoos.

"My name is Varhen, and your name is?" Varhen gave his formal bow, looking at the Templar quizzically, he felt this odd felling that this man was safe, and he would not harm any of his companions. The soft purr erupted out of nowhere and Varhen became as red a tomato. The Templar looked confused for a moment.

"I'm Sir Otto, by any chance do you have a cat with you? Or am I starting to hear things?" Sir Otto blinked in confusion which made Varhen chuckled, the purr adding an amusing undertone.

"That would be me… An unfortunate Blood mage incident, you may find it interesting, but may I ask why a Templar stands among the elves? Most Shem here act as if this place carries the plague, not that I can blame them, this place smells worse than the rest of the city… And the scent of illness hangs heavy like mist." Varhen's nose twitched, it did smell like illness was spread thick in the air.

"You have a keen nose and sharp eyes, Varhen. So an encounter with a maleficarum that would explain the odd feeling about you… There is a plague, but the troubles here are said to be worse, I'm here on rumors of some blood mages, but have found no supporting evidence. However, I have felt a dark disturbance by the Orphanage; I was wondering if you could be my eyes, I've heard many sad tales, but none that warrant a serious investigation. Will you help me?" Otto seemed truly concerned and frustrated. The lack of a comment on blindness and the fact Otto seemed to know Varhen was Dalish went untouched, both not really minding.

"I would be glade to help, in fact we passed the Orphanage on our way here, and there are several strange things there. There is a rotting rabid dog, a feral dog, and a pool of blood that smells like rotten eggs. All those together do not seem like a coincidence, and I get a feeling like something is wrong when I go near the building." Varhen stated feeling like he'd gag at the mere thought of it, also deciding to keep the melody of sighs to himself.

"Well, that does warrant an investigation. I'm not exactly the warrior I once was; could you help me one last time?" Otto frowned with worry, but his pale blue eyes were set with a burning determination. Varhen did not hesitate.

"I'll help you, I believe that something is extremely wrong, and I wish to get to the bottom of it. Let's head to the Orphanage now, yes?" Varhen turned and began walking with the man toward their destination, ignoring the questioning looks from the others, Varhen's' nerves needed to cool, a battle would do that. Wynne gave Varhen a slightly concerned look, while Alistair frowned but followed, Zevran just kept his eyes on Varhen. Shade growled as they drew closer to the ominous building that once was the Orphanage.

The old building seemed much more sinister as they crossed the threshold into the first dark and chillingly cold room. The room was at first glance a small hall that could have been a pleasant entry way, a closer look revealed the walls paint was pealing and cracked, and the floor boards groaned as weight was pressed down on them. Alistair muttered something under his breath and Zevran just gave a quite scoff in reply.

"Alistair, I highly doubt this would be much out of the normal for most of the Elves, but seeing as I'm not from an Alienage I only have a first impression to go on. Not a very good one at that." Varhen said, muttering the last bit to him self. He looked around the feeling of wrong about the dead building had grown worse as they crossed into the doorway, into a black abyss.

Now it felt as if someone or something was placing the tips of their nails along his arms and raking them across his skin in feather light touches, it was sending icy chills up and down his spine. Varhen drew his twin blades the soft hiss of them being drawn out was not the only whisper that was assaulting Varhen's senses.

For an instant Varhen was in a dimly lit entry and people were all around him, most of them elves running from weapon wielding humans, the screams and blood everywhere shocked him and he reached down drawing out his blades in case he were to fall under attack, the humans were hacking and slashing at every elf they saw making no discrimination between child or Caretaker. Varhen saw several older elves grab weapons and fight back holding off the mob as Caregivers grabbed children and tried to run for safety. The screams began to fade and in a blink of his eyes Varhen was back in the dark entry Alistair calling his name.

"Varhen? Varhen, you there?" The worried voice was soon echoed by everyone else becoming a chorus of worried faces. Varhen blinked in shock and shook his head, the pale man straitening up from the crouch he'd backed into against the wall.

"I… Yeah I'm here. I think." Varhen mumbled looking around dazed slightly. What had he just seen? He looked at the walls and noted that what he'd seen must have been what happened to the Orphanage on 'the day of burning' or what ever it was called.

"Are you alright?" Wynne asked moving to stand next to the Dalish and lay a hand on his shoulder. Varhen sheathed his blades and placed a hand over hers. Giving her a soft smile he nodded.

"I guess it was just a side affect from… I'll be fine I'm just on edge I guess. Let us just get this over with." Varhen sighed, patting her hand and moving to stand next to Zevran who was casting worried glances his way. Varhen gave him a quick kiss looking him in the eyes and letting him see the rampant emotions swimming in them.

"Well Otto is standing a little ways in waiting for us, so shouldn't we get going?" Alistar asked awkwardly, unsure of what he should do. Varhen put up a mask quickly before turning to his concerned brother.

"Let us continue, and don't worry Da'len I'm fine." Varhen actually smiled when Alistiar pouted at the term Varhen had used. He grumbled under his breath as he stalked past the smirking elves. Zevran chuckled shaking his head at the sulking Templar turned Warden, and Varhen gravitated to his side waves of anxiety were rolling of his shoulders.

As they reached a hall Varhen stopped again and nearly panicked, standing there almost perfectly clear stood a ghost. The young child apparition looked toward them screamed and ran away through a pile of debris that blocked the hall. Varhen had seen ghosts before, but they always had a shimmering quality that made them look like a flag caught in the wind, this one only seemed to be made of almost transparent silver that had a soft mist clinging to it.

"I'm insane or did any one else see that?" Varhen asked his cat ears twitching wildly under the hood, agitated by the load noise. Everyone turned to him, they noted his eyes were dilated to small slits, and his ears ere twitching wildly beneath the hood, they even noticed how his robe fluttered from the panicked flick of his feline tail. Zevran, who'd stayed next to his lover the whole time, immediately ran his hand down Varhen's back which soothed the others panic little by little.

"See what? All I saw was a strange figure clouded by mist that ran away with a faded out cry." Alistair said looking at Varhen concerned, his eyes shining with worry, even Wynne had a small sprinkle of fear with the healthy motherly dose of concern in her eyes.

"Yes, my Warden, what has you riled so?" Zevran asked, running his hand back up Varhen's back as a way to sooth the younger elf. Varhen slowly righted him self, shivering as he blinked and took a few steadying breaths.

"I saw a child, a ghost, but he looked like he was still alive, but appeared…" Varhen trailed for a moment looking for a suitable word, Sir Otto who'd stayed near the group kept quite intrigued by Varhen's adept abilities to sense Fade rifts.

Varhen's eyes faded back to the present as he found the word he'd looked for, his pupils slowly returning to a large round size that almost consumed his irises, which was normal in the dim light, "transparent, it the best I can describe it, he didn't have any color, it was like looking as a picture painted with one color in many shades, that's about all I can say about it, it's as specific as I can get." Varhen said his own hands unconsciously wrapping themselves around Zevran's hand hidden behind him.

Zevran kept a collected façade for his own benefit for the moment. Everything that was happening to Varhen was matching old legends from a good deal of cultures and if they were correct, Varhen might get even worse as they neared what was causing whatever Sir Otto felt within the building.

Varhen steeled himself and they proceeded, fighting a group of rabid dogs, which seemed to have been driven into a feral state.

"One two and Maric's run through! Three four the kingdom's at war… Eight nine and now you die!" The voice faded out into giggles and Varhen stood in the center of the room his ears twitching and his fur on end, he looked disturbed and Sir Otto turned to him having heard the chirping whisper.

"What was said?" He asked blink hard to try to see the dark elf in the dim light.

"One two and Meric's run through, three four the kingdom's at war, eight nine and now you die. Then it faded into giggles." Varhen stated his tail twitching under his robes, He blushed when a hand snaked its way under his robes to stroke the fluffed up appendage.

Varhen suddenly hissed at the door his ears pressing flat against his skull, as a shade burst in, surprising everyone Varhen sprang forward and slashed at it, with his nails that were now about three inches and curved into sharp claw-like weapons. The shade shrieked in pain and dissolved into ash, Varhen stood in the doorway, holding his head and shaking then he was crouched low, his tail swishing at a dizzying pace back and forth. His robe tail had slid to the side, freeing the swishing appendage.

Zeran was the first to react, having tried to stop Varhen as he lurched forward, he was crouched by Varhen trying to pull his hands down from his head, Varhen curled up tighter and made a small noise that made Zevran freeze. Varhen had said a plea in Dalish that was asking someone to stop.

"Varhen!" Zevran snapped his voice revealing inner fear of what the younger was seeing rise at an only quickening pace. Varhen didn't respond only flinching away from the older man, Zevran raced though what would snap the dark haired elf out of the past. Leaning down he quickly gave the younger a kiss on the back of his palm, which startled the half cat, which finally opened his silver eyes.

"I swear if I ever do that again you can take me to the chantry and make me become a priest." Varhen said wanting to hug Zevran tight but holding back, knowing it would make the Antivan uncomfortable. Zevran noted the look of venerability and held the younger's arms, just below the wrist. Varhen sent him a hidden smile of gratitude before shakily getting to his feet.

"You grew claws and shredded that wraith." Alistair stated blinking at Varhen in wonder. Varhen looked to the ash pile and back to the three others, which meant Sir Otto, Wynn, and Alistair. They were all stunted. Varhen ducked down slightly looking down at his hands, that now had the sharp, now only slightly long, maybe a forth of an inch, but they had darkened considerably from the normal white to a deep dark black.

"It seems so…" Varhen stated blinking in surprise. Zevran held up a hand and took a look over the nails, noting the silver colored edge on all of them before looking at Varhen concerned. Zevran held the question on the tip of his tongue; he wanted to know what Varhen had seen.

"What happened?" Sir Otto asked eyes betraying concern and slight fear for the unexplainable reaction. Varhen had been looking at his hands, not aware of the stares he was receiving. He looked up and shifted a haunted and pained look crossing his face.

"A memory that decided to haunt me. Again. Let's go." Varhen let out a heavy sigh, drawing his blades and turning away and walking into the room getting jumped by three shades, that he seemed to know were there as he slashed at them with his blades. He le his extreme emotions drain away as he fought, they battled through ghosts and shades until finally coming to the final blood stained and dark room. Sir Otto squared his tired shoulders and took a few strides into the room.

"The Maker compels you Demon, show yourself!" Sir Otto's voice rang out and to everyone an enraged hiss answered, to Varhen it was more like a roar of fire in his ears. He winced and tried to turn his head from the deafening noise.

"You think you are safe!? There is no Maker, Mortal!" The answering voice held no solid form yet but Varhen could feel the rage drown the air and knew the voice was that of a Rage Demon. Sir Otto kneeled down and began a chant but was interrupted by the same voice filled with malice and mocking.

"Save your Chant for your sermons, Templar, You killed my brood! There is no Golden City, but there are Demons, yesss!" The voice now echoed across the room almost striking at Varhen, who now was covering his ears and shivering in pain. The load noise was disorienting and his eyes saw only a reddish haze filling the room, almost like a fire burning under white smoke, illuminating parts, and making it seem like shifting dancers clothed in shimmering colors of fire.

"I'll not listen to your blasphemy; the Maker compels you to show yourself Demon!" Sir Otto shouted back defiantly, drawing his mace from its place on his belt. The Demon howled with rage sending Varhen to his knees at the latterly deafening cry that reminded him of the screams on the Battle field at Ostagar.

Varhen clenched his teeth and tried not to scream, the pain hazing his thoughts and making breathing difficult. The ground seemed to open into a burning void in the center of the room, a fiery clawed hand flying up to claw the ground to drag the rest of its body up.

"You delusional **fool!**" Was the Demons scream, and Varhen couldn't fight the hiss of fear that escaped him, as the demonic power filled the room, he stood, stumbling forward to stand by the Templar's side he drew his blades as the whole Demon was revealed to them as the serpent like forum of a Rage Demon, his eyes that were balls of white fire burned with malice and sent chills throughout Varhen's body.

"Here kitty, kitty." The Demon hissed eyes narrowing as it launched its attacks at the startled Varhen, who managed to slip out of the way, to land blows on the Demon, it was an easy fight after Wynne froze the Rage Spirit solid.

"How the…?" they all stared normally all the spell would do was weaken the daemons, never freeze them completely solid. Wynne glanced at Varhen who had a soft silver colored mist around him when the friendly spell had been used, that was now gone.

"Alistair, think you can shatter him in one hit?" Varhen asked in between pants that had mostly come from the adrenaline rush he'd had when the Demon had focused on him. Alistair nodded and moved forward, taking up his shield and swinging it into the frozen enemy which proceeded to shatter into frozen shards of flame.

"It's done." Sir Otto chirped thinking it was all over and done, he smiled and went to hold out his hand to Varhen but froze and Varhen stiffened as he smelt the strong sent of blood. Sir Otto was killed by other hidden Demons, and Varhen hadn't seen them in time. Guilt for the Templar's death flooded the young man as he launched himself into the last fight.

After the three last Demons were defeated, Varhen relaxed, not feeling anything now, the feeling of wrongness fading to nothing. But then Varhen saw a glimpse of an elderly looking elfin lady standing by a chest by the door. He turned to see her smile at him and gesture to the chest before disappearing.

"I must be dreaming." Varhen stated as the imaged faded. He blinked and looked at Wynne who had walked to the corner to pray for the bodies of the children strewn in the corner, Varhen felt his heart drop as he walked over to her side. He almost began to cry, it was disgusting to think that people he was supposed to save did this. He gave a quite prayer in elvish that their souls would be guided safely through the Beyond.

Wynne looked at him and gestured to the door, Varhen nodded but stopped by the chest, he waited for the others to leave, all except Zevran before opening the chest to find an amulet.

"I don't know why but this needs to find its owner, don't ask it's hard to explain." Varhen muttered picking up the small piece of jewelry, only to see flashes of a girls face, he remembered seeing her sitting on the ground muttering about the 'Day of Burning' could it be hers? He shook his head and blinked down at the amulet.

"Zev, I think I'm going insane." Varhen stated getting up and dangling the amulet before him. Zevran just chuckled.

"But if you were going insane, what would we do?"Zevran was trying to act his normal façade but Varhen could see the worry flash in the amber depths. Varhen chuckled.

"I guess you'd be stuck with Alistair, or you could go to Antiva to wage a small war at home." Varhen answered grining and trying to not snick at the fake horror on Zevran's face.

"Stuck with the Frelelden virgin, spare me from such horror!" Zevran gasped with mock fear, his eyes widening in a play as he rocked back on his feet with his hands over his heart. Then Zevran let his usual grin settle into place. Varhen and Zev shared a quite laugh before they headed out of the decrepit building and into a slightly less decrepit ally.

Varhen found the girl and gave her the amulet, as she put it on he saw the elderly Elf again, smiling at him before fading away for good. He walked up to the red headed girl who was shouting at everyone, finally pulling his nerves together enough to face the mages.

A/N: Hope it was worth the wait, now hopefully you've gathered that what ever Varhen has been turned into, it's put his mind in a mess and he now reacts differently to the Fade as well as magic. Hope to see a review, cookies and nutella to you all! Forgive some of the weirdness it's been forever since I've played through the whole game, but I can't wait for DA3 to come out! It's be sooo cool, I want to know what happens to the Commander of the Grey, and Champion of Kirkwall!


	16. Are You Sleeping?

A/N: I know last chapter didn't go into depth about what Varhen has been turned into but don't worry, I plan to explain in more depth as the story goes on. In this chapter I'm taking us one step closer to the Landsmeet. I'm sorry for the long wait but my chapter some how ended up in two different places, my thumb drive then my family laptop, so when I reloaded my copy on the thumb drive to the laptop I messed up and got stuck with the laptops copy which meant I was sent back a few paragraphs. Enough of my ramblings! Well I hope the chapter makes the wait worth while, please read it and leave me a long review about how blond I was for messing up and making you guys wait so long k?

Before in Gifts of the Heart:

"_Varhen got up and headed out the door showing his comfort with the topic was shaky and he no longer wished to discuss it."_

Chapter sixteen: Are you Sleeping?

Varhen had stopped by the armory to find that the armor that was being made for him was almost complete; all that need finishing was the gloves and boots, so the main armor was finished and battle ready. Wade insisted that he see how the armor fit, and got Varhen give in and submit to the request.

After slipping into a room off to the side Varhen quickly slipped out of the cloak and pulled the chest piece over the emerald shirt and fastened the buckles and ties. The armor seemed to be made from dragon bone, with a reinforcing layer of silverite, or at least that is what Wade had said, but it fit and that was what mattered to Varhen.

Moving he found Wade had worked his magic; the armor did not restrict his movements and was light, which kept Varhen's movement fast and precise. Just as he crouched down to leap forward however he found a flaw, the leg guards were too lose, which would make fighting a pain. Varhen rolled forward deciding against the leap, which would have ended badly.

The chest armor in one word, perfect, along with the leather belt with several spots he could secure his knives and other blades. The leg guards and other bits however, needed to be re-sized because they were too loose on the lithe elf. Varhen pulled his cloak over the chest armor and pulled up the hood to cover the cat ears, not wanting to startle the Master Blacksmith.

"The leg guards and such are too loose; they would slow me down and make me vulnerable." Varhen stated giving the blacksmith the facts and armor he required, Wade seemed to accept this had turned to set about re-sizing the armor, muttering about ways he could make art. Varhen had guessed as much seeing Wade was not one to deal with much outside of his craft. Even if he wanted to look at his old armor he had other matters to attend to. So with no further delays the group set out to the Alienage to investigate the unrest there.

Varhen grew nervous when they stepped out of the Arl's estate and into Denerim, and all of his companions could sense it. Varhen's normally fluid and graceful movements became slightly stiff and halting, he also kept pulling the hood lower as if it would help with the strange looks he was receiving for having Dalish heraldry on his back.

Shade walked quietly by his masters' side, looking up to the elf's face every so often as if to check on him, and growling at anyone who dared to jeer at the young man. Zevran also walked at the younger's side as if to ward off any who might try and hurt the Dalish, but Shade did his part to intimidate the people in the market.

Varhen just seemed to tighten into knots as the scent of the city became more rancid as they approached the Alienage and Varhen almost retched; he had thought the city was a slum before, now he knew it was much worse. The heightened senses were turning out to be a curse. Varhen tried not to gag or cry when they finally got inside the walls of the Alienage.

Stopping when they saw a human being harassed by some elves, Varhen walked closer causing the elves to run off and the human glared at him and be incredibly racist before storming off. Varhen muttered several elvish curses under his breath while glaring and sneering at the retreating human. Zevran let a hand rest on Varhen's' shoulder, and then they continued on to the cause of the growing rancid odor.

It was a dead and decaying dog, along with a blood puddle that smelled of rotten eggs, Varhen would have puked if Zevran hadn't moved closer to him, taking off the edge of the disgusting stench with his divine scent. Varhen covered his mouth and nose with a hand thinking 'By the Creators this place smells like it crawled out of the most disgusting hole imaginable! How can anyone stand to live here?'

Varhen suddenly came to a stop; he looked up from the ground even if his sensitive eyes felt like they'd been stabbed at the sudden change in light. He moved his hand down back to his side, his ears twitching. Varhen was not interested it the sights of the run down ally way they stood in, he heard something above all the white noise of the city. The sound was chilling, and something felt off, wrong. However, it did not sound like an evil thing rather it almost sounded like the sighs of a great number of people forming a haunting melody. It was just wrong.

"What is that?" Varhen murmured, he had his head tilted his narrowed eyes searched the area, but he spotted the giant tree the elves proudly displayed in the center of their horrid living area, and everything seemed to fall silent to the stunned man.

Growing up he had always heard how backward the elves in an Alienage were, but based on everything he had seen so far they were not much different from the clans in many ways. The giant tree proved this and just took the breath from him; none of the elves here seemed to know the creators, and yet they displayed a gleaming gem of the forest.

The tree proved they at least took pride in their heritage, and it just did not fit with what he had heard. He couldn't help but be happy about this, because it meant these elves would at least fight if they were given cause to protect their families and home.

"Beautiful, how can this survive here?" Varhen whispered quietly to himself, that's when they heard the voices crying out, Varhen turned to see a young woman with short red hair, yelling at a crowd of people, but what caught Varhen's eye were the three men in mage robes.

Varhen grew uneasy; the robes looked strikingly familiar to the robes of that blond elven blood mage. A cold harsh fact dawning that the robes were practically the same. A chill ran through him and he let out a soft whimper, and moved away from the crowd and closer to some shadows. Zevran grew worried and reached out a hidden hand to the small of Varhen's back.

"They look like him, I do not want to be here, what if he is one of them?" Varhen eyes were a step away from madness, he kept looking at the mages then Zevran then back again, he was scared. Flashes of the strange blond mage were in every shadow Varhen was seconds from breaking down. Zevran gave him a soft look before coxing him back to reality.

"If he is here would you let him roam free with no one to guard the people here?" Zevran's little plan to play Varhen's sense of good and evil worked, Varhen's eyes focused as did his mind. Varhen shook his head making a small smirk play on Zevran's lips, "Let's investigate, shall we?" Varhen gave him a small smile, showing he knew Zevran's play, but the younger elf nodded.

Varhen let his eyes wander back to the mages again, he convinced himself to remain calm, these men were dressed for show he could see the gold embroidery and shining copper bits and pieces. They'd be easy to fool. As long as he did not show his ears or tail he'd be fine, hopefully.

Varhen skirted the large mass of people, heading toward the edge of the Alienage, and spotted a Templar, he saw the pale film over the seemingly blue eyes, Varhen has seen people with similar eyes the man must have been blind. It was as good a place to start as any, and the man may know what was rattling the Alienage. The strange Melody of sighing voices and the tingling feeling of wrongness faded as the moved away from the Orphanage, and toward the bald Templar.

Varhen paused unsure how to speak to the man, he seemed to be in thought and Varhen did not wish to be rude, or startle the man. Shade looked up at Varhen and huffed then trotted closer to the Templar and barked, lifting a paw to pat at the hand he was closest to. The Templar seemed startled but looked down, and reached out hesitantly, it helped that Shade moved into to the reach of the hand. Varhen gapped at the dog in shock as the Templar patted the furry head.

"I'm terribly sorry Sir; Shade has a mind of his own…" Varhen began but the Templar just smiled, waving a hand his blind eyes showing gentleness that allowed Varhen to feel calm.

"Don't worry, I wasn't bothered, so this hound is yours? Come closer child I still have some sight to see you by. What's your name?" The Templar pated Shades head, as he looked up toward Varhen, squinting just a bit, the soft smile was not affected as he spotted the Dalish tattoos.

"My name is Varhen, and your name is?" Varhen gave his formal bow, looking at the Templar quizzically, he felt this odd felling that this man was safe, and he would not harm any of his companions. The soft purr erupted out of nowhere and Varhen became as red a tomato. The Templar looked confused for a moment.

"I'm Sir Otto, by any chance do you have a cat with you? Or am I starting to hear things?" Sir Otto blinked in confusion which made Varhen chuckled, the purr adding an amusing undertone.

"That would be me… An unfortunate Blood mage incident, you may find it interesting, but may I ask why a Templar stands among the elves? Most Shem here act as if this place carries the plague, not that I can blame them, this place smells worse than the rest of the city… And the scent of illness hangs heavy like mist." Varhen's nose twitched, it did smell like illness was spread thick in the air.

"You have a keen nose and sharp eyes, Varhen. So an encounter with a maleficarum that would explain the odd feeling about you… There is a plague, but the troubles here are said to be worse, I'm here on rumors of some blood mages, but have found no supporting evidence. However, I have felt a dark disturbance by the Orphanage; I was wondering if you could be my eyes, I've heard many sad tales, but none that warrant a serious investigation. Will you help me?" Otto seemed truly concerned and frustrated. The lack of a comment on blindness and the fact Otto seemed to know Varhen was Dalish went untouched, both not really minding.

"I would be glade to help, in fact we passed the Orphanage on our way here, and there are several strange things there. There is a rotting rabid dog, a feral dog, and a pool of blood that smells like rotten eggs. All those together do not seem like a coincidence, and I get a feeling like something is wrong when I go near the building." Varhen stated feeling like he'd gag at the mere thought of it, also deciding to keep the melody of sighs to himself.

"Well, that does warrant an investigation. I'm not exactly the warrior I once was; could you help me one last time?" Otto frowned with worry, but his pale blue eyes were set with a burning determination. Varhen did not hesitate.

"I'll help you, I believe that something is extremely wrong, and I wish to get to the bottom of it. Let's head to the Orphanage now, yes?" Varhen turned and began walking with the man toward their destination, ignoring the questioning looks from the others, Varhen's' nerves needed to cool, a battle would do that. Wynne gave Varhen a slightly concerned look, while Alistair frowned but followed, Zevran just kept his eyes on Varhen. Shade growled as they drew closer to the ominous building that once was the Orphanage.

The old building seemed much more sinister as they crossed the threshold into the first dark and chillingly cold room. The room was at first glance a small hall that could have been a pleasant entry way, a closer look revealed the walls paint was pealing and cracked, and the floor boards groaned as weight was pressed down on them. Alistair muttered something under his breath and Zevran just gave a quite scoff in reply.

"Alistair, I highly doubt this would be much out of the normal for most of the Elves, but seeing as I'm not from an Alienage I only have a first impression to go on. Not a very good one at that." Varhen said, muttering the last bit to him self. He looked around the feeling of wrong about the dead building had grown worse as they crossed into the doorway, into a black abyss.

Now it felt as if someone or something was placing the tips of their nails along his arms and raking them across his skin in feather light touches, it was sending icy chills up and down his spine. Varhen drew his twin blades the soft hiss of them being drawn out was not the only whisper that was assaulting Varhen's senses.

For an instant Varhen was in a dimly lit entry and people were all around him, most of them elves running from weapon wielding humans, the screams and blood everywhere shocked him and he reached down drawing out his blades in case he were to fall under attack, the humans were hacking and slashing at every elf they saw making no discrimination between child or Caretaker. Varhen saw several older elves grab weapons and fight back holding off the mob as Caregivers grabbed children and tried to run for safety. The screams began to fade and in a blink of his eyes Varhen was back in the dark entry Alistair calling his name.

"Varhen? Varhen, you there?" The worried voice was soon echoed by everyone else becoming a chorus of worried faces. Varhen blinked in shock and shook his head, the pale man straitening up from the crouch he'd backed into against the wall.

"I… Yeah I'm here. I think." Varhen mumbled looking around dazed slightly. What had he just seen? He looked at the walls and noted that what he'd seen must have been what happened to the Orphanage on 'the day of burning' or whatever it was called.

"Are you alright?" Wynne asked moving to stand next to the Dalish and lay a hand on his shoulder. Varhen sheathed his blades and placed a hand over hers. Giving her a soft smile he nodded.

"I guess it was just a side affect from… I'll be fine I'm just on edge I guess. Let us just get this over with." Varhen sighed, patting her hand and moving to stand next to Zevran who was casting worried glances his way. Varhen gave him a quick kiss looking him in the eyes and letting him see the rampant emotions swimming in them.

"Well Otto is standing a little ways in waiting for us, so shouldn't we get going?" Alistar asked awkwardly, unsure of what he should do. Varhen put up a mask quickly before turning to his concerned brother.

"Let us continue, and don't worry Da'len I'm fine." Varhen actually smiled when Alistiar pouted at the term Varhen had used. He grumbled under his breath as he stalked past the smirking elves. Zevran chuckled shaking his head at the sulking Templar turned Warden, and Varhen gravitated to his side waves of anxiety were rolling of his shoulders.

As they reached a hall Varhen stopped again and nearly panicked, standing there almost perfectly clear stood a ghost. The young child apparition looked toward them screamed and ran away through a pile of debris that blocked the hall. Varhen had seen ghosts before, but they always had a shimmering quality that made them look like a flag caught in the wind, this one only seemed to be made of almost transparent silver that had a soft mist clinging to it.

"I'm insane or did any one else see that?" Varhen asked his cat ears twitching wildly under the hood, agitated by the loud noise. Everyone turned to him, they noted his eyes were dilated to small slits, and his ears ere twitching wildly beneath the hood, they even noticed how his robe fluttered from the panicked flick of his feline tail. Zevran, who'd stayed next to his lover the whole time, immediately ran his hand down Varhen's back which soothed the others panic little by little.

"See what? All I saw was a strange figure clouded by mist that ran away with a faded out cry." Alistair said looking at Varhen concerned, his eyes shining with worry, even Wynne had a small sprinkle of fear with the healthy motherly dose of concern in her eyes.

"Yes, my Warden, what has you riled so?" Zevran asked, running his hand back up Varhen's back as a way to sooth the younger elf. Varhen slowly righted himself, shivering as he blinked and took a few steadying breaths.

"I saw a child, a ghost, but he looked like he was still alive, but appeared…" Varhen trailed for a moment looking for a suitable word, Sir Otto who'd stayed near the group kept quite intrigued by Varhen's adept abilities to sense Fade rifts.

Varhen's eyes faded back to the present as he found the word he'd looked for, his pupils slowly returning to a large round size that almost consumed his irises, which was normal in the dim light, "transparent, it the best I can describe it, he didn't have any color, it was like looking as a picture painted with one color in many shades, that's about all I can say about it, it's as specific as I can get." Varhen said his own hands unconsciously wrapping themselves around Zevran's hand hidden behind him.

Zevran kept a collected façade for his own benefit for the moment. Everything that was happening to Varhen was matching old legends from a good deal of cultures and if they were correct, Varhen might get even worse as they neared what was causing whatever Sir Otto felt within the building.

Varhen steeled himself and they proceeded, fighting a group of rabid dogs, which seemed to have been driven into a feral state.

"One two and Maric's run through! Three four the kingdom's at war… Eight nine and now you die!" The voice faded out into giggles and Varhen stood in the center of the room his ears twitching and his fur on end, he looked disturbed and Sir Otto turned to him having heard the chirping whisper.

"What was said?" He asked blink hard to try to see the dark elf in the dim light.

"One two and Meric's run through, three four the kingdom's at war, eight nine and now you die. Then it faded into giggles." Varhen stated his tail twitching under his robes, He blushed when a hand snaked its way under his robes to stroke the fluffed up appendage.

Varhen suddenly hissed at the door his ears pressing flat against his skull, as a shade burst in, surprising everyone Varhen sprang forward and slashed at it, with his nails that were now about three inches and curved into sharp claw-like weapons. The shade shrieked in pain and dissolved into ash, Varhen stood in the doorway, holding his head and shaking then he was crouched low, his tail swishing at a dizzying pace back and forth. His robe had slid to the side, freeing the swishing appendage.

Zeran was the first to react, having tried to stop Varhen as he lurched forward, he was crouched by Varhen trying to pull his hands down from his head, Varhen curled up tighter and made a small noise that made Zevran freeze. Varhen had said a plea in Dalish that was asking someone to stop.

"Varhen!" Zevran snapped his voice revealing inner fear of what the younger was seeing rise at an only quickening pace. Varhen didn't respond only flinching away from the older man, Zevran raced through what would snap the dark haired elf out of the past. Leaning down he quickly gave the younger a kiss on the back of his palm, which startled the half cat, which finally opened his silver eyes.

"I swear if I ever do that again you can take me to the chantry and make me become a priest." Varhen said wanting to hug Zevran tight but holding back, knowing it would make the Antivan uncomfortable. Zevran noted the look of venerability and held the younger's arms, just below the wrist. Varhen sent him a hidden smile of gratitude before shakily getting to his feet.

"You grew claws and shredded that wraith." Alistair stated blinking at Varhen in wonder. Varhen looked to the ash pile and back to the three others, which meant Sir Otto, Wynn, and Alistair. They were all stunted. Varhen ducked down slightly looking down at his hands, that now had the sharp, now only slightly long, maybe a forth of an inch, but they had darkened considerably from the normal white to a deep dark black.

"It seems so…" Varhen stated blinking in surprise. Zevran held up a hand and took a look over the nails, noting the silver colored edge on all of them before looking at Varhen concerned. Zevran held the question on the tip of his tongue; he wanted to know what Varhen had seen.

"What happened?" Sir Otto asked eyes betraying concern and slight fear for the unexplainable reaction. Varhen had been looking at his hands, not aware of the stares he was receiving. He looked up and shifted a haunted and pained look crossing his face.

"A memory that decided to haunt me. Again. Let's go." Varhen let out a heavy sigh, drawing his blades and turning away and walking into the room getting jumped by three shades, that he seemed to know were there as he slashed at them with his blades. He le his extreme emotions drain away as he fought, they battled through ghosts and shades until finally coming to the final blood stained and dark room. Sir Otto squared his tired shoulders and took a few strides into the room.

"The Maker compels you Demon, show yourself!" Sir Otto's voice rang out and to everyone an enraged hiss answered, to Varhen it was more like a roar of fire in his ears. He winced and tried to turn his head from the deafening noise.

"You think you are safe!? There is no Maker, Mortal!" The answering voice held no solid form yet but Varhen could feel the rage drown the air and knew the voice was that of a Rage Demon. Sir Otto kneeled down and began a chant but was interrupted by the same voice filled with malice and mocking.

"Save your Chant for your sermons, Templar, You killed my brood! There is no Golden City, but there are Demons, yesss!" The voice now echoed across the room almost striking at Varhen, who now was covering his ears and shivering in pain. The loud noise was disorienting and his eyes saw only a reddish haze filling the room, almost like a fire burning under white smoke, illuminating parts, and making it seem like shifting dancers clothed in shimmering colors of fire.

"I'll not listen to your blasphemy; the Maker compels you to show yourself Demon!" Sir Otto shouted back defiantly, drawing his mace from its place on his belt. The Demon howled with rage sending Varhen to his knees at the literally deafening cry that reminded him of the screams on the Battle field at Ostagar.

Varhen clenched his teeth and tried not to scream, the pain hazing his thoughts and making breathing difficult. The ground seemed to open into a burning void in the center of the room, a fiery clawed hand flying up to claw the ground to drag the rest of its body up.

"You delusional **fool!**" Was the Demons scream, and Varhen couldn't fight the hiss of fear that escaped him, as the demonic power filled the room, he stood, stumbling forward to stand by the Templar's side he drew his blades as the whole Demon was revealed to them as the serpent like forum of a Rage Demon, his eyes that were balls of white fire burned with malice and sent chills throughout Varhen's body.

"Here kitty, kitty." The Demon hissed eyes narrowing as it launched its attacks at the startled Varhen, who managed to slip out of the way, to land blows on the Demon, it was an easy fight after Wynne froze the Rage Spirit solid.

"How the…?" they all stared normally all the spell would do was weaken the Greater Demons, never freeze them completely solid. Wynne glanced at Varhen who had a soft silver colored mist around him when the friendly spell had been used, that was now gone.

"Alistair, think you can shatter him in one hit?" Varhen asked in between pants that had mostly come from the adrenaline rush he'd had when the Demon had focused on him. Alistair nodded and moved forward, taking up his shield and swinging it into the frozen enemy which proceeded to shatter into frozen shards of flame.

"It's done." Sir Otto chirped thinking it was all over and done, he smiled and went to hold out his hand to Varhen but froze and Varhen stiffened as he smelt the strong sent of blood. Sir Otto was killed by other hidden Demons, and Varhen hadn't seen them in time. Guilt for the Templar's death flooded the young man as he launched himself into the last fight.

After the three last Demons were defeated, Varhen relaxed, not feeling anything now, the feeling of wrongness fading to nothing. But then Varhen saw a glimpse of an elderly looking elven lady standing by a chest by the door. He turned to see her smile at him and gesture to the chest before disappearing.

"I must be dreaming." Varhen stated as the imaged faded. He blinked and looked at Wynne who had walked to the corner to pray for the bodies of the children strewn in the corner. Varhen felt his heart drop as he walked over to her side. He almost began to cry, it was disgusting to think that people he was supposed to save did this. He gave a quite prayer in elvish that their souls would be guided safely through the Beyond.

Wynne looked at him and gestured to the door, Varhen nodded but stopped by the chest, he waited for the others to leave, all except Zevran before opening the chest to find an amulet.

"I don't know why but this needs to find its owner, don't ask it's hard to explain." Varhen muttered picking up the small piece of jewelry, only to see flashes of a girls face, he remembered seeing her sitting on the ground muttering about the 'Day of Burning' could it be hers? He shook his head and blinked down at the amulet.

"Zev, I think I'm going insane." Varhen stated getting up and dangling the amulet before him. Zevran just chuckled.

"But if you were going insane, what would we do?"Zevran was trying to act his normal façade but Varhen could see the worry flash in the amber depths. Varhen chuckled.

"I guess you'd be stuck with Alistair, or you could go to Antiva to wage a small war at home." Varhen answered grinning and trying to not snicker at the fake horror on Zevran's face.

"Stuck with the Frelelden virgin, spare me from such horror!" Zevran gasped with mock fear, his eyes widening in a play as he rocked back on his feet with his hands over his heart. Then Zevran let his usual grin settle into place. Varhen and Zev shared a quite laugh before they headed out of the decrepit building and into a slightly less decrepit ally.

Varhen found the girl and gave her the amulet, as she put it on he saw the elderly Elf again, smiling at him before fading away for good. He walked up to the red headed girl who was shouting at everyone, finally pulling his nerves together enough to face the mages.

A/N: Hope it was worth the wait, now hopefully you've gathered that what ever Varhen has been turned into, it's put his mind in a mess and he now reacts differently to the Fade as well as magic. Hope to see a review, cookies and nutella to you all! Forgive some of the weirdness it's been forever since I've played through the whole game, but I can't wait for DA3 to come out! It's be sooo cool, I want to know what happens to the Commander of the Grey, and Champion of Kirkwall!


	17. Blood Binds and Unrest

A/N: I'm happy to say you will now see how he reacts to blood magic, if you don' know what I'm talking about hit the reverse button and reread from chapter one, if you do well, have fun reading this chapter. Anyway, hopefully soon we'll reach a climax (not that kind, you'll read about that later) But if we don't oh well. The Archdeamon will die eventually so…. I don't know, read and review?

Disclaimer: The dancing burrito in the green sombrero said I own nothing.

Before in Gifts of the Heart:

"_He walked up to the red headed girl who was shouting at everyone, finally pulling his nerves together enough to face the mages. "_

Chapter seventeen: Blood Binds and Unrest

Varhen looked at the group that was still there, along with that same red haired girl shouting at them. He walked over cautiously; the mages began to show interest in him. Their eyes glancing over to the stranger that seemed skittish, one of the mages started to whisper to the other next to him, their leader just kept a calm face as Varhen walked over to the red head.

"Oh, you're helping us are you? Like you helped Valendrain and my Uncle Cyrion? Oh you helped them, didn't you! Helped them to never be seen again!" The red haired one screamed at the Tevinter Mages, her frame tense as a whip and shaking with suppressed rage.

"Quit whining, we've explained this before, we will not allow you to go into quarantine just to carry plague back into the Alienage!" The mage was getting irritated but withheld any anger he might have felt. Varhen tensed as the mage spoke feeling some strange power around the mage.

"Quit trying to get us all killed Shianni! Some of us have still got things to live for." The venomous words of the other elf shocked Varhen, but the red haired girl, Shianni, didn't flinch. Varhen wanted this to stop, now. Words of hate should never be spoken to kinsmen.

"If this spell of theirs works, then why are half the people they quarantine perfectly healthy?" She shot back, the dark haired elf scowled, not having an answer to that, he turned away.

"Is something wrong miss?" Varhen asked his voice a soft sigh compared to her shouts of fury. The girl spun around to face the small group, her face portraying as much anger as her voice had. Varhen took a quick step back, away from the enraged elf.

Varhen knew he was going to get an ear full for such an obvious statement, of course something was wrong. The question should have been _What is_ wrong. Varhen's ears pressed to his head as the red haired elf bristled ready to throw every thing at him, but she stopped her eyes softening.

"These mages say they're here to help us with our out break of Plague, funny thing though, all the people they 'help' disappear." She looked distraught, angry and just on the brink of screaming. Varhen hated seeing people in any kind of pain, and wanted to help her, something in his gut told him helping her find answers would help the Alienage. So he held back and listened.

"That's not true and you know it, Shianni! Both my sister got the Tevinter spell cast on them and they're fine!" The blond elf sounded exasperated like dealing with a foolish Da'len, rather than a fully grown woman. Varhen fought the growing irritation of this out right disrespect of kinsmen. He'd been raised to never strike out at his fellows, and while it couldn't be avoided at times, it was never a first resort. He took a deep breath and continued to listen.

"Where's your niece then, and my Uncle Cyrion, and Valendrain?" Again the comeback was met with no reply. This Shianni knew what she spoke of, but these others were refusing to acknowledge her point, Varhen wasn't so blind sighted. He took another calming breath.

"Where did the plague come from?" He asked, if he got the answer to that, this would decide what was truly going on in the Aleinage. He just knew that answer would tell him all the rest of what he needed to know.

"The Blight, or so they say, people started to get sick after the refuges arrived from Ostagar so I guess that makes sense." Her answer both assured Varhen's fears and solidified his anger. He nodded to her.

"I'm going to solve this mystery; however, you should go to your home, and wait this out." Varhen's statement held an edge that made everyone nervous, most of all Shianni for she had no idea who this elf was.

"What are you going to do? They won't just let you in." Shianni asked confused and in all honesty scared. She didn't know who this man was but she remembered her cousin talking of a Dalish saving him from the dungeons; this man's companions match the descriptions of the Dalish elf's companions, but was this man the same? Varhen gave her a soft smile showing he was no threat to her.

"If these men were using magic to stop this plague then the plague is not from the blight, for the blight is not healable. If you get sick you get sick, if you are exposed there is no stopping it." Varhen looked at the mages and for the first time since leaving the Orphanage's ally, lifted his head enough to reveal his face, while keeping his sensitive eyes shaded.

Shianni gasped in shock, looking at the Dalish tattoos that weaved over the high cheek bones, and ran down his straight nose, to come up and out like a tiara over the man's forehead. She looked at his cat-like eyes and was shocked into silence. He noticed her stare and shifted foot to foot, his own eyes betraying his fear.

"I won't say a thing." She whispered leaving the crowed, Varhen was frozen he blinked as his eyes followed her.

"Ma serannas, Shianni." Varhen whispered walking to the ally wanting to see if another way might exist to the building.

Shianni was stunned by the use of elvish, while she did not understand the words; she knew they were said with no venom. She walked home confused staying in and starting to wait out the coming storm.

When they reached the ally, an elf with dark hair tied back in a short braid looked at them and sighed.

"No you can't go in for 'just a peek'. Now go away." The male stated blandly, obviously board. He crossed his arms over his chest, the heavy armor he wore clanging at the simple movement. It was obvious the man dealt with the curious far too much for his liking.

"It's good that I don't just want a peek then. Look I need to know what those mages are doing there is no way its good if the Plague really is from the Blight." Varhen said trying to be as polite as he could, his hood cast enough shadow to keep his eyes hidden, but this man knew by the tattoos he was a Dalish, but it was the fact the man couldn't see his eyes that had him intimidated.

"Look, I can't let you in even if I wanted to. I have people I need to care for and this job will help me do that." The Guard shifted on his feet eyeing them apprehensively, but could feel a shift in the lead stranger, the Dalish. He tensed his hand rising defensively going for his claymore.

"There is no need for violence," Varhen said raising his own hands palm out in a sign of peace, "I'll pay you to go find another job, one far away from these Teventer Mages, how much are they paying you?" Varhen asked, his voice softening out of its edge to its normal soft tone.

The guards hand dropped to his side with a metallic clang, he stared at Varhen with shock. He blinked shaking his head he answered, "One Sovereign per day." The elf answered confused as he looked at them skeptically.

"Here, take this and go home, find another job, I don't care, so long as it's not messing up innocent lives." Varhen said pressing ten gold coins into the other elf's hand, the other blinked looking at the money before nodding and walking off, careful to take an ally away from the tree clearing.

"That's just sad." Varhen muttered, walking to and picking its lock before pushing it open, easily sensing the men behind the wood. His blades were drawn and he leapt forward giving the scattering of guards little time to react, giving Varhen and the others a large advantage. When the fighting was done, they searched the hospice. Varhen finding the off to the side room filled with cages, all containing hurt looking elves.

"Please, you have to help us, we're not sick! Please!" A random man begged holing onto his bars looking at Varhen with desperate, pleading eyes. Varhen quickly let them out telling them to use the back door. Varhen hated letting them leave while in pain but there was little they could really do.

"Varhen, you might want to see this." Alistair called from the main room. When Varhen came over the other Warden he saw a large money pouch, as well as several papers that Alistair was staring at. Looking over the parchment Varhen nearly screamed he was so enraged by what he saw.

"Tevinter Slavers! I swear to the Creators they will all pay for this!" Varhen shrieked, but the door had opened and the three mages from out side burst in closing and locking the front door they launched a storm of magical spells at them, Varhen standing between it all. Varhen felt a rage build with in him as he ran at the mages, their magic barley slowing his quick charge.

Everyone froze as a shimmer of silver emerald laced mist spread out cloaking Varhen a split second before the spells hit him, the mist shivered and swirled as if the magic tickled it. Varhen let lose a snarling hiss as his blades danced out from the silver and green mist shimmering about him like a set of protective arms, keeping magical harm at bay. Until every last one was dead.

Varhen stood as the mist swirled around him a few times before rising into the air around the Dalish and dissolving vanishing as if it was never there. Varhen swayed on his feet the twin blades clattering to the blood soaked ground, Zevran moved forward, setting his hands on his lover's shoulders turning the younger to look at him. He gasped his eyes widening Varhen had changed, a small change, but a change nonetheless.

His eyes were the bright silver they always shone, but now on the edge of the silver a border of emerald, a thin ring, barley noticeable. Unless you were as close as Zevran was, he was inches from Varhen, who looked ready to faint. Varhen blinked and slowly the emerald seemed to drain out of the silver. Zevran didn't pay attention to the others only to his lover as slowly Varhen steadied.

"I... Forgive me." Murmured the younger elf who ducked down blushing at the closeness of the other older male, Zevran kissed him. Varhen was shocked; he didn't know what to do his purring was just a strange but natural response his face was flush as he glanced to a slightly green Alistair and a stern Wynne who was smiling and shaking her head.

Zevran glanced behind them, then looked at Shade who sat quietly by his master's heel. He sighed quietly and ran his hand down the smaller elf's arm, before backing off. He stood to Varhen's left between Shade and his master.

"Where are we off to now my Warden?" Zevran asked becoming professional in an instant as not to cause Varhen a heart attack. Varhen blushed but gestured to the back door.

"To the apartments they mentioned in their notes. Alistair, grab the money we can use it to fund the war." Varhen stated walking toward the back door. He didn't want to admit it out load but what ever had just happened I was like something had just broken loose. He didn't understand what it was and so it scared him, it felt raw like an animal. It was strange but at the same time familiar, Varhen was so confused, he pushed it all to the edges of his mind.

Going down the back alley they went through the apartments. Peeking into some of the rooms in the apartment a deep sick feeling began to sink into Varhen's gut. The rooms sometimes barely looked like they'd been disturbed, but some had plain evidence of a struggle.

Varhen heard whispers and froze, he was in a room with a shattered vase, and he swore he head a woman voice pleading, then a noise like shattering glass and a scream. Varhen was all alone in the room, being the last to leave each room they entered, and he flinched at the scream, snapping his eyes closed.

The instant his eyes closed he felt himself disappear. It was strange, but in an odd way familiar, like he raw power earlier. He felt like he floated up and back, and when he opened his eyes he gasped, but there was no sound. Instead of himself he saw an Elven woman, and three men surrounding her, in full Tevinter slaver regalia.

A deep seated rage, the rage of a true Dalish awoke within him, he wanted to save the woman who was cornered by the vase in the center of her small room, he wanted to badly, but instead, her heard a whisper, _'No, my child, watch and listen. You cannot change what has happened. Learn from it.' _

Varhen blinked but the rage he felt quieted, and he felt his senses clear with his mind, this was the past, he was watching the past. He could see the Elven woman back into the vase, quickly stopping it from falling over, he saw her mouth moving quickly, and he strained to listen, and then finally her voice filled him, he didn't just hear it; it was as if he felt the words.

"Please, I-I'll pay anything, but please no!" She cried holding the urn steady as she shook with utter terror. Then it hit Varhen, the woman's terror, pure and undiluted and painfully real despite him not really being her he felt it with her, as her. She knew what these men were, and she was terrified of what they meant, and the future they represented.

A Slaver shoved her from behind, the vase fell to the side cracking and splintering to pieces with the sound of shattering glass the woman screamed, and the men pulled her away. Only the shattered vase remanded as a reminder of what has transpired. Varhen felt her fear, panic, pain and finally her feeling of resignation and foreboding. Then it felt like his head exploded.

"Wake up!" Accompanied a stinging backhand to his face woke Varhen from the trance, sitting up like he'd been struck by lightning and he screamed. Varhen hadn't meant to, he was shocked. A pair of lips was over his quieting the wail; Varhen relaxed and opened his eyes, looking at Zevran's worried features.

"What is troubling you?" Zevran whispers, noticing Varhen's plain confusion, fear, and complete panic. Varhen looked away for a moment, he must have fallen over after he'd gotten the vision or whatever it was, he was sitting next to the side of the door, but he'd been by the vase when he'd seen the images and heard the whispers.

"I… I don't… know." Varhen muttered a confused strain to his voice. He shook his head looking back at the vase a cautious and skeptical look in his silver eyes. He wondered if he'd hallucinated and should keep it to himself, but that would be mistrusting.

"I-I think I just saw what happened here, or I'm badly hallucinating." Varhen reluctantly answered looking at the others. He shook himself standing and wincing at the pain in his side with the healing ribs, having fallen on them. Wynne muttered a healing spell, easing the pain; Varhen gave her a thankful smile and bow.

"First, sorry for hitting you, and second what?" Alistair spoke up from his left, looking perplexed. Varhen looked down rubbing his throbbing temples, trying to ease the pain he felt there. When his headache had slightly subsided he answered.

"It was like at the Orphanage…" Varhen whispers before looking guilty, he hadn't told them what happened. Wynne just looked at him with a deep set concern in her eyes, Alistair just looked more confused, and Zevran just kept a calm look on his face as he looked Varhen in the eyes. Varhen looked Zev in the eyes; it seemed to calm his conflicting feelings in an instant.

"Tell us, love, what's going on?" Zevran whispers so only Var could hear the strange endearment. It was a pleasant surprise; he hadn't expected Zevran to say anything like that, he was stunned. Zevran grinned as an evil idea unfurled in his perverted little mind. He hooked a finger under Varhen's chin tilted the younger's head back and kissed him. Varhen kissed back instantly, wrapping his arms around Zevran's neck and twining his fingers into the light blond hair, a soft purr coming from the silver eyed man.

"Be calm." Zevran whispers after pulling away, Varhen doesn't want to let go of the man, but hearing Alistair's soft coughing brought him back to the present. He blushed and quickly untangled himself from Zevran, taking a step away from the addicting man. Varhen's face refused to cool as he looked at the slightly sick looking Templar turned Warden.

"Sorry…" Varhen muttered blushing badly, and fidgeting, his tail curling around his thigh, as his ears twitched. Wynne had a small amused smile as her eyes sparkled knowingly. Varhen straightened up took a few deep breaths before launching into a quick explanation of what happened at the Orphanage, then what happened in the room. At the end Varhen fell silent, he had no more to say, he was tired and sore and their work was not yet done.

"Well… This is slightly disturbing." Alistair stated after a pause. Wynne shook her head still too shocked to say anything. Zevran was looking at him with a deep worry sparkling in his eyes.

"Nothing of the sort, Alistair, so he gets glimpses of the past, it could prove useful." Wynne stated she smiled at Varhen, but it was the faint and worried kind. Zevran's hand found itself resting on Varhen's back, a silent reminder he was there for him, which seemed to calm the Dalish much more than the other's words.

"You can see the past, but I don't think it's healthy for us to pull you out of it, you say when Alistair hit you it felt like your head split?" Zevran asks, changing the subject quickly, seeing how uncomfortable Varhen was becoming. He ran a hand up and down Varhen's forearm, trying to keep the younger focused on him.

"Yes, I felt the woman's despair and resignation then my head felt like I'd slammed it into a wall." Varhen admitted reluctantly, wanting to just curl into a ball and sleep for a week in some dark corner. Zevran could see the fatigue in his lover's eyes, and realized Varhen had had little chance to ever be a child, he'd never gotten a carefree life like the others in his clan before they started training, Varhen had always dealt with pain. First before he was even born his father died protecting him, shortly after he was born his mother disappeared, after that he was held captive by cruel men, then his dearest friend was 'killed', finally he had to leave his clan. Zevran saw a man who was tired of suffering, but willing to do the right thing even if it would bring him more pain.

"Maybe we should continue, the slavers have been here, and we're falling behind them." Varhen states getting up with help from his lover, leaning against the study wall Varhen took a deep cleansing breath before opening his eyes nodding and walking further into the apartments.

In one of the room was the missing Bronze Sextant, Varhen put that in his pouch, remembering that he'd taken on a task to find it. Then they searched the rest of the apartments, when they found nothing more they entered another alley, this time meeting a few Slavers.

"You got another one?" One of them asks walking closer; Varhen didn't even wait to reply before leaping forward, with a hiss.

"Never in your life, filthy bastard." The hiss accompanied a slash to a weak point across he neck with his claws, the man stumbled. Blood cascaded out of the wound; it looked like a waterfall of red on the front of the blue grey uniform. Varhen didn't pause, only drew his blades and ran to the nearest enemy, trying to give him as little time to prepare as possible, he heard the others charge forward and attack others.

After killing the second one he swiveled on his heel to attack one that had tried to sneak up on him from behind. He dispatched the surprised man easily, having taken out three of the original ten or so men, only three remained, Alistair had taken out two and was battling his third. Wynne had taken out one and was more focused on healing them than taking out enemies. Zevran had taken out two and was battling two others; Varhen silent as a snake slipped behind one of the men and kicked his legs out from under him.

The man hit the ground hard, the air knocked from his lungs. Seeing the opportunity Zevran slammed a dagger into the armored chest, and in a fluid move slashed the others chest. Varhen baited the man, feinting to one side then diving for the other, as the man tried to keep up Zevran was mercilessly dealing blow after blow. Finally the man so angry that he was trapped between two that were acting like flies dove for Varhen. Varhen dodged, and sank his sword through the man's back spine.

"Right, that wasn't cruel or anything." Alistair muttered from his corner, having finished his battle. Wynne just muttered a spell sending a healing affect over the party. Shade had been darting around causing mayhem to the enemies and now huffed by Alistair.

"Hey, strategy is not cruel, if faced with a challenging opponent, or one with difficult armor to break, annoy them until they lose it then strike a weak point with everything you have. It works." Varhen panted shrugging, having a serious adrenalin rush. Taking a deep breath Varhen cleaned his blades on the grass before sheathing them.

When they entered the next building Varhen felt tense, something was wrong but he didn't know what it was yet. Then they met a dark haired female elf, who stood with her back to the door that would lead them further into the building.

"I ask you sop here." She states tersely, glaring down her nose at Varhen, who had given up on pulling his hood back up. It kept falling back when they fought, so he kept his ears down, but he didn't need to force them now. This Woman had managed to tick him off instantly. He felt anger fill him and frustration.

"You know what these men do and yet you help them?" Varhen hisses, barley containing the urge to strike out, he sees the well placed and hidden traps and tries not to smirk as he realizes her plan. He places his hands on his blades getting ready for the coming fight.

"I know, but why should I care? These are not my people, just Alienage elves that no one will miss. And we have permission, so leave. I won't ask again." The woman sated her crossed arms twitching as if eager to lose an arrow or two. Varhen's rage flared, he closed his eyes taking three deep breaths before saying anything.

"I'm not leaving, and none of my companions are either, although they have the choice to leave when they'd like. Taking these 'Alienage elves no one will miss' is just slavery, and no matter how you stretch the truth that's wrong." Varhen hisses, and as she draws her bow, running across the line of traps, he smirks in victory. Varhen slides up next to the traps disarming them with ease, dodging around arrows and swords as the slavers go after him.

Varhen slipped into the room, dodging arrows and letting the elf kill several of her companions, no reaction. Varhen hisses as he charges the last stretch, taking an arrow to the shoulder in the process, glad for the armor that deflects the projectile. He gets close, she swats at him with the bow, tying to get more space for a clear shot, Varhen weaves in and out of her range, smiling as she finally gives up on trying to shoot him and pulls out a sword.

She slashes at him, relatively good with a blade, but Varhen seems to evade the blows with ease. With a kick to the legs he sends the woman to the ground burying his sword through her heart. He looks back, the two that he got shot were dead, and so was the woman, the others had dispatched the other few that had guarded the way. Standing he looks at his shoulder, astonished when he sees no sing of a mark on the cloth.

They continued on, looting the bodies, Varhen picked up the bow, and strapped it to his back, liking the familiar weight of it across his shoulders. After the got to a barracks like area Varhen stopped, he could smell it in the air, pain and fear.

"What ever is in the next room is the last, the kidnapped elves are there, I can feel it." Varhen stared at one of the doors leading into the next room uneasy, but there was something else he could sense. A sickening thing that curled through the air like lazy smoke, but left no scent or heat in its wake, only a sticky feeling that made Varhen want to wash himself badly.

"What's wrong?" It was Wynne to speak first, but Zevran had drawn near to him, resting a hesitant hand on his shoulder. Varhen swallowed his throat and mouth feeling dry. His hand comes up to rest over Zevran's, trying to draw some strength from his lover.

"I don't know, there is something else waiting beyond those doors. Something powerful, something dangerous." Varhen was stone still witch was almost worse than him shaking uncontrollably, but Zevran could feel the tiny tremors running through the younger elf. Alistair drew his sword, and hoisted his shield up, Wynne pulled out her staff, and Zevran reluctantly let go of Varhen to draw his blades. Varhen took a deep breath and drew out his dagger, hiding it in his hand as he pushed open the door.

"Well, Warden, your reputation precedes you." A man sates standing in the center of the room, a guard surrounding him, around ten maybe fifteen Varhen was more focused on the mage. With narrowed eyes Varhen let lose a low, deep growl that grew into a loud threatening hiss. The mages lips twitched into a smile filled with mocking victory.

"Well, that's something I hadn't expected. I'd thought you'd have had enough sense not to try to engage me. How about a proposition? You see, you want Loghain off his high pedestal, and I want these elves. I have papers to help you prove his slaving, just let me leave with my stock and you can have them, no strings attached." The mages voice sent a shudder of disgust through Varhen; the voice dripped like oil and made him feel dirty and foul. The mage was smirking in victory, with his arms crossed over his chest. A hiss rose into the air, Varhen's silver eyes glittered with rage.

"I have a counter offer." He growled his voice having that real growlish undertone that made him seem dangerous. His hands were fisted at his side the dagger now plainly obvious. Everyone made exclamations of horror, thinking Varhen had gone mad.

"That's just not right!" Alistair exclaimed in dismay.

"You should take a good look at those elves before saying that!" Zevran growled, not realizing what Varhen meant. Wynne gasped in astonishment but said nothing. Varhen felt a stinging slice at his heart, that his friends would think such hurt... a lot. Especially when it came from Zevran, who looked at him with confused hurt.

"You leave without the elves, give me the papers, and keep your life. No strings attached." Varhen stated his voice slightly harsh from his inner pain. The mages eyes narrowed, his lips twitch in the beginnings of a sneer of distain. His staff was still strapped to his back, but his hands were now twitching at his sides.

"You see I can't do that. How about I just sweeten the deal, some gold to fund the war effort?" His voice had dropped to a low growl of frustration and rage. Varhen growled back, his sounding more feral and wild.

"No. Your life, in exchange for the papers, these elves freedom, and any gold you've made from your slaving." Varhen's own eyes narrowed, his general dislike of this mage growing rapidly.

"Well you see I can't do that for obvious reasons." The mage appeared to pout before whipping his staff out of its holster and spinning it before him, "I'm so sorry it had to come to this." The mage smirked and flung a stone fist at him, Varhen jumped over the railing to avoid it, he spaced everything but the mage out. Blood magic was dangerous and he needed to kill him before something happened.

He landed on a vase toppling it over he rolled forward and jumped up and slashed a guard across the throat, whirling and stabbing another in the chest, pulling back for a moment he saw the mage smirk at him and flick out a bleeding hand.

Pain, searing pain erupted across his neck, spreading quickly down to his wrists and ankles. Varhen dropped the dagger screaming in pure agony, it felt worse than before, worse than when he'd woken up, because this time he was standing and all his joints had locked refusing to let him collapse.

"Kill him!" Zevran hissed at Alistair as he rushed into the fray the templar was in pushing him toward Varhen's plight, taking on about four men at once while Alistair slipped away to fight for his Warden brother. Before anyone could get close, Varhen was wrapped in a red mist, silver and green veins flashing through like flashes of lightening.

Alistair stopped blinking in confusion, Zevran heard Varhen's screaming suddenly stop, just an abrupt silence. The room seemed to freeze, everyone focused on the red mist that slowly melted away, revealing a black crumpled form on the ground. Slowly a soft whine seemed to emanate from the form, it twitched and a wing lifted up, glossy void black feathers ruffled.

"Rise." The mage snarled, and with a weak jerk and a sluggish huff, the black form rose to reveal a large cat with feathered wings. The fur was sleek and midnight black like the feathers. A weak hiss came from the low hanging head.

"Varhen…?" Zevran asked, Alistair shook his head confused, and Wynne had a hand covering her mouth. The cat twitched and turned it head as if fighting an invisible force, until finally its silver eyes met Zevran's gold ones. It let out a soft keen, as if longing to be nearer Zev.

Shade let out a different whine, this time pained. Alistair gasped in plain astonishment as the cat let out a hawk like shree snapping its head side to side as if it had something it its nose. The paws planted to the ground like they were stones, the retractable claws digging into the dirt floor.

"Varhen!" Zevran hissed in panic, the mage glared, and snapped his fingers, getting the cat Zevran just _knew _was Varhen to look up and stop shaking its head like it was crazed. A low threatening hiss came from the cat the fur standing up along its spine.

"Obey me you little pest! Now kill him." The mage flicked a hand over to Zevran, suddenly the cat let out an enraged roar that echoed off the walls, its form lunging forward right for the mage. A shriek was all you heard from the robed man before the cat tore him apart.

"Varhen! Varhen stop!" It was Zevran, who ran forward, the four he'd engaged frozen by Wynnes' magic for now, he need to stop Varhen before he did something stupid and killing the mage right now would leave a lot of questions unanswered. Varhen froze looking up and snarling at Zevran an unreasonable rage blazing in the silver eyes, the cat took a step towards Zev, who froze, instincts kicking in hard.

A strange growlish hiss came from what Zevran assumed was Varhen and Zevran realized the cats tongue was split like a snakes, it flicked out long and slender. The cat made a strange noise like it was sucking in a breath, and Zevran realized that the cat was scenting him, mixing snake and cat methods.

Recognition flashed in the silver eyes and the cat lowered his head appearing ashamed as he now seemed to cower before Zevran. Zevran crouched low extending a hand to run it through the fur on the back of Varhen's neck. Varhen tensed for a moment but seemed to not object to Zevran's attention. A soft purr rumbled through Varhen and Zevran was surprised when instead of skin he felt scales under the black fur. He pet Varhen's neck one last time before looking at the pitiful mage bleeding on the ground.

"What did you do?" He hissed in rage Varhen snarled taking a step toward the blood mage. The mage gagged on his own blood when he flinched and tried to make a scared yelp. Wynne quickly used some healing magic stopping the worst of the bleeding inside and out of the mage. Varhen growled but sat when Zevran ran a hand down his back.

The top of Varhen's shoulder was at Zevran's hip, with his wings folded at his sides, he looked like an elf sized horse when standing, sitting he appeared to be about upper chest level with Zevran. Wynne jumped at the growl and Alistair was still open mouthed and shocked standing where he had first seen the mist that had hidden Varhen from view. Shade cowered down onto his belly and scooted forward until he was next to his master, who looked at him and nudged him with his nose, a soft chuff accompanying the gesture. Shade stood and waged his stump of a tail.

"I released his blocks, he should be mine! How did he resist my magic!?" The mage semi-rambled looking at Varhen out of his one good eye, Varhen having gouged out the other one. Varhen hissed his snake tongue flicking out in annoyance. Zevran just pet his fur, calming the aggravated cat, bird, snake creature that was currently Varhen.

"How does he get back to normal?" Zevran asked growing as irritated as his lover whose tail was flicking. The mage laughed and Varhen let out a roar mingled with a hawk shree which silenced the mage.

"Only he can do it! He knows it comes with the blood. Blood has power, now let me go and I'll just slip away quietly all the gold I have is yours, all m- the elves yours and the papers to!" Varhen snarled and lunged, only to be stopped by Zevran's hand, Varhen huffed and nudged the hand with his wet nose, enjoying the jump of surprise and half glare sent his way, a purr rising up.

"Well seeing as he has no qualms with killing you that would be a…" Zevran paused playing with the mage as he pretended to think about the final answer, "No." With cold efficiency he plunged the blade he held in one hand through the mages heart. Varhen's purr grew in volume as the mage shuddered and died.

"Let's get the elves out of the cages." Alistair mumbled, Varhen looked over and whined padding up and brushing against his leg, looking hurt when the man stiffened and began pouring fear scent into the air. Cocking his head Varhen held his ears half back.

"Your huge Var, and scary as hell!" Alistair exclaimed nervously looking at Varhen with a slight pained expression. Slowly Varhen stepped back lowering his head in an almost shamed manner, his tail curling under him as he backed into a wall, curling into a tight ball unfurling a wing to cover himself.

"Oh, I'm an idiot." Alistair muttered looking at Wynne helplessly; she just shook her head unable to say anything. Zevran unlatched the cages and ran to Varhen stroking the feathers as he crouched by the large Black Panther as he finally realized the spices of cat.

"Varhen, come now, we need you to uncurled, and try to get back…" He stopped not believing his eyes when the wing lifted and unfurled to reveal the curled up form of Varhen, elf again, sort of, his tail and ears remained along with the new addition of wings.

Varhen looked even worse for wear than he already had, his eyes had dark circles under them, but Zevran's eyes locked onto his bloody wrists and neck collar, the cloth tinted darkly. He realized Varhen's cloths hadn't been lying on the ground and were now on him, so that was a mystery better left alone for now what mattered was Varhen was… Varhen.

"I just want to sleep…" Varhen whispered hoarsely looking at Zevran with a deep seated sadness in his gaze. Valendrain stepped forward the other elves hanging back like the group at the stairs had the plague.

"Var, I-"Varhen shook his head. His sad silver eyes were piercing Alistair's blue ones like daggers. He had a cool calm and a sadness that hung around him like a heavy cloak.

"No, I know what I was. A large panther I can understand your fear…" Varhen whispered looking more exhausted, his wings flopping uselessly to the ground in a pathetic manner.

"Thank you. Um… are… you're a Grey Warden?" Valendrain seemed uncertain and as far as Varhen could tell wasn't scared. He just lifted his gaze to the Elder, trying his best to be sociable.

"Yes, although if you knew one of our order they most likely died at Ostagar, even our mentor Duncan. I'm sorry for your loss." Varhen added the last part after seeing pain flash in the elder's eyes at the mention of Duncan.

"Duncan was a good man. He came through here looking for recruits every once in a while…" The Elder sighed and rubbed at his temples as if trying to clear a headache. He looked at Varhen again a slight grin that clearly wasn't real, "You might find that strange but Duncan was a man who knew talent could be anywhere." Valendrain was looking at the ground now, and Varhen could see the man truly was distraught over Duncan's loss.

"No, I can understand… He recruited me when I was sick; I had trouble keeping pace with my clan let alone a Warden that was dead set on running the whole way to Ostagar…" Varhen murmured a sad smile and half chuckle escaping him. He remembered the week it had taken to go from the area his clan had been in the Wending Wood to Ostagar. Duncan was a good man, the week was more because Varhen wasn't able to give his best, for some reason his stamina hadn't been where it should have been.

"Well… Captured by slavers, and then saved by an elf without chains… An eventful day." Valendrain muttered. Varhen started laughing, Oh he had chains aright! Calming Varhen shook his head looking up at the Elder, with a mix of mirth and pain swimming through his gaze.

"No, I have chains, not the same as yours but chains all the same." Varhen stood with some help from Zev, swaying for a moment from the unfamiliar weight on his shoulders a.k.a the wings. He carefully retracted them into his robes, through the slits they were spread out of.

"Well I thank you nonetheless. You could have left us to our fate and for a moment I feared you might." Valendrain said half joking, but Varhen could see the unrest in the other elves, he'd let his ears up not being able to conceal them any longer. He also noticed Valendrain looked tired; Varhen blinked trying not to think of his own weariness.

"I would never let that happen, it just seemed like a good way to engage that heartless… thing. I hadn't been thinking straight my apologies for the unnecessary panic caused." Varhen growled hissing the word thing in a way that caused the other elves to jump and move closer to the door away from him. With a groan Varhen nearly fell over, Wynne rushed over Zevran now had his arms wrapped around Varhen and was holding him up.

"Varhen, Varhen wake up!" Zevran hissed surprised again by how light his lover was, and began fearing blood loss was the cause of his lover's faint. Valendrain drew back; worry clearly on his time worn face. Alistair drew closer panic etching his, Varhen couldn't die, not now; Alistair didn't want to be alone!

"He needs rest, there's noting wrong that I can tell but blood loss, and I've healed those wounds so he just needs rest I suggest we don't move him far." Wynne cautioned gently, as Zevran lifted the smaller man bridal style. Alistair actually leaned against the stair rail looking relieved beyond words.

"He can stay in my home. I don't have much but you are welcome to stay a while." Valendrain said an uncertain smile on his haggard face. Zevran looked worried, his brows frowned and face not turning from Varhen's his heart still refusing to settle.

"Thank you." Zevran whispered still looking at Varhen his features frowning in a way that made him appear older. Wynne touched his shoulder gently, trying to coax him to relax, by washing healing magic over him. Zevran looked up briefly meeting her eyes and raising a brown questioningly. She sighed and stopped shaking her head she turned to Valendrain.

"That would be welcomed, you have no idea how much we'd appreciate a safe place for Varhen to rest." She sounded as reasonable as ever, her gentle tone calming like always. Valendreain nodded smiling.

"Oh, I do, I've dealt with warden's and the like enough to know their groups are like a family. This way." They exited and slowly wove their way back to the entrance of the hospice. Walking forward they came to the house by the raised platform behind the large elven tree. Entering the house Valendrain lead Zevran to the back where here was a bed, where he helped get Varhen settled, before getting the rest situated.

"Thank you for this, you really don't have to do this." Alistair spoke up, Shade lying next to him, trying to keep the blond from frowning. Shade licked Alistairs hand every once in a while when the heir to the throne stopped petting him as he talked with Valendrain.

Zevran was leaning against the wall by the bed in the back watching over his lover waiting for the silver eyes to open. Wynne was near Varhen as well healing what she could until all they could do was wait and pray.

A/N: Hoping along a bunny trail… Wow this is tiring work… Be happy I love writing so much… Well new chap new story bit, yay! Em Ryuu out.


	18. No rest for the Wicked

A.N: Well last chapter was eventful and I'm still in that slum… uhg I need to pick up pace! I'm beginning to feel like Shakespeare! Oh no! *screams in agony* Anyway…. Varhen's fine don't worry, he's just overly stressed, things went from incredibly weird to F this and quite kinda weird in about point zero seconds for the poor boy.

Disclaimer: No money off this for me, and no I don't own the characters.

Warnings: Smut

Last chapeter:

"_Wynne was near Varhen as well healing what she could until all they could do was wait and pray."_

Chapter Eighteen: No rest for the Wicked

It was early the next Morning that Varhen woke up, Valendrain had found enough things to scrape together beds for everyone, but Zevran just said he'd be fine and Valendrain could use his.

"I'm not sleeping until I know he's alright." Zevran had stated not taking his eyes off the young man who was paler than was normal, and now had so many issues Zevran was extremely worried he might attempt suicide if left alone. Valendrain had decided he'd listen to the younger since he wasn't budging and had gone over to the bed he'd made for himself.

"Where…?" Varhen muttered opening his eyes to a strange ceiling, for a moment forgetting he was even a Warden, and looked for his bow. Zevran's hand gently pushed him back down, keeping the pale man in one spot.

"Varhen, all is fine, just relax. I'll go get Wynne." Zevran saw the effect his voice had on the semi-panicked man who calmed almost instantly and relaxed again. Zevran quietly walked over to where the elderly mage was and roused her guiding her over to Varhen.

"Okay, as far as I can tell you're fit to move, although you'll have to be careful." Wynne stated after checking him over the best she could. Varhen nodded slowly standing leaning on Zev as he got light headed. Valendrain being an early riser was awake and came over to them, letting Alistair sleep with Shade curled up by him.

"Thank you, you have truly no idea how much gratitude I feel right now." Varhen stated weakly his head feeling full of cotton and his movements were sluggish as he bowed in the Dalish fashion.

"Oh, I'm sure you underestimate my old bones, I've known a long time that someone like you would come along." Valendrain smiled at Varhen's shock and surprise. Valendrain smiled as he walked to a small niche that just looked like a hole in the wall and pushed on one side revealing a small hidey hole at the foot of the wall, he pulled out a large tome that had some dust clinging to it.

"What in the Beyond?" Varhen asked still leaning on Zevran for support, because if he let go he was sure he'd fall over. Valendrain chuckled dusting the tome off before holding it out to the younger man.

"You'll need it. Do you need any help getting back to your allies?" Varhen gingerly accepted the book, having to let go of his support but doing pretty fine on his own for now. He shook his head as he looked at the leather bound book. It was beautiful and almost made Varhen cry, when he saw a picture of a creature much like what he'd been in the slaver's warehouse on it's cover.

"Alright?" Valendrain said frowning worriedly when Varhen opened it and nearly fainted. On the front page was a small note addressed to Keeper Azure, the same man to sent him a letter.

"I know this handwriting…" Varhen muttered trying to wrack his fuzzy brain for details. A few moments passed before Varhen was blinking in shock, all he'd assumed was right. He was a Winged One, because his father and mother were too. They'd been separated and found each other again, but the story ended the same. Both dead and he stranded and alone.

"The Keeper." Varhen suddenly said his knees buckling. Zevran caught him before he could go down far. Varhen was shocked. Slowly he re-read the note. A felling of betrayal spiraled through him, pain accompanying it like a hot blade.

"She… she knew." Varhen whispered total agony etching his face. The pain the false story he'd been fed filled him and he suddenly just collapsed. He couldn't care, his whole life, one of the few people he'd let in, the one he idolized, had lied all his life.

"Varhen..." Zevran whispered crouching in front of his Lover, trying to get him to respond. Varhen's eyes looked blank like he had blown his emotions out, suddenly pain spiked through him as well, Zevran tried to back hold his scream, the pain spiraled up and became too much. Zevran collapsed onto his side curling into a ball on the floor holding his chest like he were about to explode. Suddenly he was in a meadow, the pain gone, in an instant, he went from on the ground to a strange meadow on his feet. Slowly he took in his surroundings.

"Zev?" That voice, was it really? Turning Zevran saw several people he knew. The one woman he'd fallen in love with, his friend who'd killed her, and last but nowhere near least Varhen, looking down at the ground. He felt pain ping inside him, who should he go to?

"Zev?" Three echoes, Zevran twitched he was so confused what was going on? Slowly Varhen looked up, when their eyes met Zevran could see that Varhen's eyes were pale, like he'd become blind.

"Zev, it that you?" Varhen's voice was so soft he had to strain to hear him, but it was undoubtedly his lover's voice. Zevran went to take a step closer but then noticed he wasn't alone, there was a man that looked similar to Varhen. He had a more angular face but his eyes were the same striking silver, and his skin was the same alabaster pale white but his hair was a striking white.

"You must understand what this is before making a decision. You are inside Varhen's shattered mind, which is scattered in the Beyond. If you are not carful you could shatter him permanently, if you are not quick he may be possessed and you along with him." When the man spoke it clicked for Zevran. But the mention of the Beyond twisted his gut.

"I'm in the Fade? But… No I can feel it… But how? I'm no mage by any stretch of imagination." Zevran asked felling his stomach knot if he had to save Varhen they were both going to die. The man chuckled and eyed Zevran like a puzzle he was solving.

"You are his soul mate, or at least one. You can enter his mind through the bond you now share. I made his Keeper swear to lie to him, he'll be in grave danger now that he knows, but it is now out of my hands. You must look at each of the images before you and chose which is you greatest desire. Be honest and you'll fix this part of his mind, and then You'll appear in the next challenge." With that the man Zevran assumed was Varhen's father melted away. Which left Zevran alone with the three 'people' standing before him and a lot more questions than before.

'Well that left more questions than answers.' Zevran thought with a sigh. He pulled on his cocky grin, running a hand through his hair before looking at each image. Talisan, most likely was a symbol for his past as a Crow, the woman was for what could have been, and Varhen was his current. Who did he want more? As he thought about it the answer slapped him across his face. Varhen, he wanted Varhen. He looked at the pale elf, seeing the hopeful trust in the blind eyes his throat clenched. He could never choose over him, he was so innocent, and yet so tainted, deadly yet gentle, young but at the same time nowhere near naive. Deadly, exciting, exotic and dangerous, but beautiful in his own ways, everything Zevran desired and more.

"Varhen…" Zevran whispered taking a few steps forward until he stood before the younger man. Varhen looked confused for a moment before smiling and blinking his eyes clear. He looked up at Zev, the brightest smile Zevran had seen on his lips shining at him.

"I knew you'd come!" He whispered, suddenly Zevran was at the end of a long hall, similar to fort Drakon. He blinked in surprise and his heart ached, he wanted to be near his lover, where was he now?

"Remember, you are in the Fade as you call it, if you forget that your lost. He's here, find him before its too late." Zevran recognized Varhen's father's voice, and calmed his raging emotions with the cold efficiency he'd picked up as an assassin. Looking around he found the only way to go was forward. 'At least that was easy…' He thought as he stalked forward, his feet gliding over the floor stirring up no noise.

"Please stop…" A hoarse whisper rang over the walls and Zevran immediately recognized it, Varhen, his little griffon was hurt. 'They'll die!' He raged in his mind charging forward, only to stop short. A clone of Zevran was berating a younger looking version of Varhen. Varhen was whimpering as tears rolled down his face, Zevran could tell the younger man was panicking.

"I can't believe you think I'd stay with you, you're pathetic!" The dark Zevran hissed going to strike at Varhen. Zevran didn't know how, all he knew is one moment he was far away the next he was in front of Varhen, who'd looked away about to just let his lover strike him.

"I'd rethink that if I were you." Zevran stated his voice low and cold, as he glared his shadow-self down. Varhen let out a strange noise, a gasp of surprise or something similar and then Zevran's shadow charged.

Zevran suddenly realized he had no weapons, He was wearing his Dalish gloves and Antivan boots both gifts from Varhen, and a set of finely crafted dragon skin armor similar to leather but he had no weapons. He dodged around the attacks, his shadow form was using the same techniques that he'd use, the same strategies he couldn't try to attack in any way, he could only focus on dodging or die.

"Varhen you have to attack it, it's not the real me, trust me!" Zevran shouted desperately his heart pounding in his ears as his shadow got closer and closer to landing a blow.

"No, stay there. You worthless-" The shadow had made one mistake, he'd looked at Varhen and lost focus for the slightest moment. But that moment was all he needed. Zevran grabbed the hand holding the blade turned it and shoved as hard as he could into his shadows gut. He felt the dagger slide between his ribs and with a hiss the shadow dissolved.

This version of Varhen stood where he was shaking and looking at Zevran with pure terror and fear. It was the opposite of the last fragment that had looked so trusting. Zevran felt a spike of anger, why would he be scared had he not proven how much he cared already!?

"The truth can set anyone free…" The scared boyish Varhen whispered looking at Zevran with a new emotion in his young eyes. It registered the boy was referring to the plain truth. Varhen may be trusting to those he knew, but he could also read those he thought of as enemies. He could shield himself with words as well as armor.

"I'm not the same person that hurt you…" A feeling of wrongness invaded his gut, "No I am, but not, that was what I'd be if I'd really closed off my heart isn't it?" Zevran asked the child, who looked at him and nodded and then looked behind him, a door appearing in the stone.

"I was just a guardian, the real piece for this challenge is further in. I'm his pain, his resilience, and his will to survive. I'm a piece of his past and now a piece of you. When you lie to yourself, you lie to him." With a flash the child was gone and the door was open. Zevran began wondering if this was more for his own 'fixing' than Varhen's.

A woman appeared suddenly his first love. He felt for a moment like he could change the past, just maybe… 'No! Varhen needs me!' he shouted in his mind, rushing past the illusion, further in he saw Varhen curled in a corner but looking around he saw anther Varhen curled in the other, all four corners had a Varhen curled in it.

"What the…? Which is real?" He huffed, running his hand through his hair again in confusion. Suddenly whispers reached his ears. Three were whispering that Zevran was just a dream and he'd have to wake up some time. One was whispering that Zevran cared, he really cared he wasn't a dream. Walking around slowly he saw that the one whispering he really cared had a gold earring, and was the only one with the old scars running over his pale back.

"I do. I care." Zevran whispered back forcing the words forward, he had to say them, weather Varhen remembered or not he wanted Varhen back together. Slowly the other Varhen's dissolved into feathers that appeared on the real Varhen as wings. Sitting up this Varhen didn't smile or frown, only meet Zevran's gaze steadily tears showing in the silver.

"I know." And again he was in a different scene. This time a forest was in front of him. A tunnel leading down into a ruin. He walking through until he reached a room with a mirror.

"My fault, it's my fault…" Varhen sobbed his voice horse and cracked. This time Varhen was covered in blood holding a dead Zevran. It registered to Zevran this was a scene where Tamlen touched the mirror and first 'died', but Tamlen was replaced by Zev.

"Varhen Tamlen died, not me remember?" Zevran stated calmly trying not to roll his eyes at the tears, he was right here. Varhen should know the difference shouldn't he?

"My fault." Was the broken reply. Zevran suddenly saw the form was shifting from himself to Tamlen then to himself again.

"I'm here, Varhen." Zevran stated confused to no end on how he was to solve this puzzle. Slowly Varhen's father materialized by him.

"Guilt can be a powerful emotion. In equal does of Joy Guilt can be dealt with, when overflowing it can be deadly. Remember the Deep Roads. Chose to be his joy or a weapon." And with that strange riddle the man disappeared again. Thinking it over Zevran knew he'd been a weapon his whole life, but what was it to be Joy? Not certain if he was doing the right thing he walked up to Varhen wrapping his arms around the crying form, feeling completely out of his mind. Varhen started laughing, the blood and body disappeared and he turned and hugged Zevran back.

"You don't have to feel awkward, it's normal. Pretend you just took me and relax." Varhen grinned leaning up and kissing the startled Antivan. When he blinked he was yet again somewhere else.

"I have a feeling this is going to be like that damn Gauntlet." Zevran muttered agitated to no end with this already. After going through several more trials he arrived at his last test. He was exhausted already and felt ready to collapse.

"Big surprise." Zevran muttered looking around realizing he was in their room in Denerim. The tests had seemed to slowly travel through time becoming more recent setting with few breaks in the pattern. Lying on the bed was Varhen, arms crossed behind his head.

"Zevran… She lied. I was told my whole life that they were Dalish. They weren't they were really Chimera, and they never told me. She lied; my Keeper and the person I looked at like a mother. Can I forgive or trust after that?" Varhen just looked at the ceiling his expression pained.

"Varhen you'll drive yourself insane. There had to have been a reason for the lies. Maybe you can't completely forgive them, but can you hate them forever? One betrayal does not mean everyone is against you or that they don't care." Zevran said too tired to care if he was or was not choosing the words carefully. He said the plain flat out truth. Varhen blinked in astonishment before smiling, a glow surrounding him and suddenly he looked like he had before any of this Fade business had happened.

Varhen stood with his wings spread wide, tail swishing happily, ears up and alert. He smiled sadly, and nodded. He moved forward hesitantly lifted a hand and brushed Zevran's lose hair out of his eyes, the man was splattered with blood and looked tired and concerned, beautiful.

"That's true. Ma serannas, emma lath." Varhen whispered leaning forward and hugging the elder man who hesitantly wrapped his arms around the smaller body pressed to his. Zevran pet the smaller man's hair threading his hands through the void black strands.

"You needed me. I'd never intentionally hurt you and I wish I'd never said what I did in the warehouse, I should have known." Zevran muttered. Varhen looked up and locked eyes with his mate.

"You didn't know, I don't blame you; it hurt but I know you didn't mean to hurt me." Varhen whispered, leaning up and kissing his lover. A gentle breeze stirred then they woke up.

With a jerk Zevran sat up and snapped his head toward Varhen who blinked and frowned for some reason both felt lighter. They looked at each other and felt like a sudden connection had been snapped into place. They could sense each other's confusion, Zevran could sense Varhen's depression and Varhen could sense Zevran's worry.

"Great, more weird. I just need to sleep. For a week." Varhen sighed shakily getting up with help from Zevran who stood fluently. Although Zevran secretly felt like he'd been having cramps all over his body and was stiff.

"You both probably would like to know what just happened was a soul link, although the book was intended to help with that I'm sure that's not what was supposed to happen. Read the book and your questions will be answered take this as well I don't think I'd put it to good use. Duncan gave it to me long ago but… well I won't be able to use it." Valendrain stated handing a dagger over to Varhen after the younger no longer leaned on Zev. Taking the dagger Varhen quickly identified it as a Gift of the Grey, and one of fine make and metal too.

"Thank you for your help. Unfortunately I might not have the time to read this tome with so much going on. The Landsmeet is soon, and Loghain leaves us little opportunity to rest." Varhen stated looking exactly how he described the situation, over exhausted and worn to the bone. Valendrain smiled sadly nodding in understanding.

"Either way, you've done a great thing. Thank you." Valendrain smiled kindly, and Varhen felt some of the weight lift off his shoulders, even if just a small fleck. He smiled softly back and then left the house the others following him. Alistair having woken at Zevran's scream, although the Antivan denied having screamed saying the blond had imagined it.

Pulling up his hood Varhen tried to keep his hound in line and Zevran from killing anyone who looked at them wrong. Zevran could feel Varhen's spikes in fear and uncertainty and wanted to annihilate the elves looking at his lover like a circus act. They wove their way through the rundown allies of the Alienage Varhen keeping his wings as tightly tucked in to his sides as he could hoping that no one noticed them.

When they reached the Arl's manor Varhen finally breathed a sigh of relief, no one had seemed to take much notice of him. They quickly walked to Eamon's study not sparing time in getting there. Varhen's pained gait and Zevran's clear agitation got the attention of the others who gathered and followed as the main group made their way to the study. By the time they reached the Arl all of Varhen's friends had gathered together.

"We have new… Developments, with my… Condition." Varhen sighed after explaining everything up to the point they reached the blood mage. Stopping before he explained that he'd become a cat bird snake thing Varhen became quite unsure of how to proceed.

"Really? Is it something to cause alarm?" Bann Tegan asked worriedly taking a step toward the agitated group from the wall. Varhen shrugged in an attempt not to scream in frustration, Zevran twitched feeling Varhen's tumult of stress and confused emotions almost like they were his own.

"Let me explain, and even when it seems I am lying I tell you I am not. When we engaged the head slaver, I found he was a Blood Mage and could not restrain my anger and ran for his throat. Instead of killing him I was able to cut down two of his guards before he worked some kind of Blood Magic." Varhen tried to think of what came next the memories mixed and clouded in his mind. Everyone knew Blood Magic had been the cause for the ears and tail and they worried something new had now come up.

"I was caught in a red haze and the pain was indescribable, and when I opened my eyes again I was a miserable lump on the floor… This is where it becomes difficult to believe… I'll just show you." Varhen sighed having had enough wind wasted trying to detail the impossible, he slowly and carefully extended his wings out of his cloak so the others could see, and gasps were heard all around.

Zevran twitched as he felt a sharp spike of anxiety from Varhen. He glared at everyone his agitation rising in accord to Varhen's anxiety. Noticing Zevran's sudden anger and Varhen's sudden twitchiness everyone looked down in silent shame.

"Well, this is… a startling development to be certain." Eamon stated gazing at Varhen's wings in silent wonder and awe, one of the few not to have gasped. Suddenly grinning like a cat with a bird in its sights Tegan, who also had not gasped, took a step closer to Varhen nearly standing next to his brother's desk.

"Can you fly with them? Your wings I mean." He was almost hopping in place with his excitement. Varhen looked taken aback for a moment, and blinked a few times in his shock. Slowly Varhen looked over at the massive appendage attached to his shoulder, flexing it out and back a few times.

"Possibly. I have not tried, maybe when it is darker and not so many are out on the street I can test them, but…" Varhen trailed his wings tucking tight to his back, disappearing back under the cloak that had two slits to allow the feathered appendages in and out. Leliana moved closer and fidgeted as she looked at Varhen a pink tint in her cheeks.

"Can… Could I feel your feathers Var?" She asked ducking slightly looking adorable and innocent. Varhen shifted his weight feeling uncomfortable with showing off the freakish development, but consented unable to say no.

"Alright but please don't ruffle them. If anyone else would like to feel my wing up please step forward now so I can get this over with." Varhen muttered a bright blush suffusing itself on his cheeks. Zevran chuckled at the blush till he felt agitated as he watched the others including Eamon, Tegan and the Warden Riordan move around his lover. A jolt of uneasiness and embarrassment shot through him and he knew it was what Varhen must be feeling, he glared at the floor. He'd felt possessive and protective a moment ago and couldn't explain to himself why.

'This is becoming annoying I don't need to… Wait this may not be so bad…' Zevran's rant trailed off suddenly as Varhen's tumult of emotion calmed to easy contentment and a soft embarrassment as the pale elf began to purr as everyone threaded fingers over his extended wings.

"This might not be so bad, emma lath." Zevran purrs his accent casting a undertone that Varhen instantly loved to the Dalish words. Varhen's wings fluttered in then out in quick succession a few times his whole body vibrating in pride. His lover had caught on to the words or at least Varhen hoped Zevran understood what he'd just said.

"I concur, but it still feels strange to feel this weight on my back, too heavy to be a bow, too light to be a sword." Varhen again flexed the feathered appendages, slightly unsure of the startled gasps and low whistles from his small audience. He was beginning to adapt to being pushed to the front of everyone's attention and was alright, but Zevran could feel the weariness coming through him through his lover.

"I believe The Warden could use rest and then we need to see if we can gather more support tomorrow and then the landsmeet, yes?" Zevran only wanted Varhen alone so he could play with the younger rouge but he wouldn't intentionally embarrass the poor man right now. Varhen felt the spike in lust and want and tried to fight a blush shooting a look over to Zevran he pulled his wings in but did not tuck them under his cloak.

Varhen felt his lust flare in response and blushed badly. He was glad he was wearing a cloak over his tight pants. His silver eye sought out his lover's gold gaze and when he found it he let out a soft purr. His lover wanted him that was all that mattered right now. Eamon quickly agreed that rest would be a good idea and they all dispersed to their rooms.

Varhen was allowing Zevran to lead him by the hand like a fair maiden, smiling as the other man pulled him through the door. He purred as Zevran pulled him closer leaning down and kissing him, pouring his newly founded possessiveness into the gesture. Varhen melted wrapping his arms around Zevran's shoulders leaning into the embrace not wanting to ever be parted from his Antivan.

"Um, just so I don't interrupt later…"Tegan said coughing quietly behind them in the open door Varhen had completely spaced. Varhen's wings reacted to his sudden shock by spreading out and closing around Zevran, hiding the two of them. Which was good considering how bright Varhen's face had become.

"Dear Creators Tegan, you nearly scared the life from me!" Varhen hissed from behind the wall of feathers blushing and looking away from the Antivan who was chuckling at the embarrassment and surprise he could see and feel. Varhen could feel amusement a slight agitation as well as a small amount of embarrassment. Slowly the wings unfurled to show Varhen and Zevran step away from each other.

"Yes… um, sorry that I interrupted you but your door was open I didn't mean to intrude." Tegan fumbled badly a deep blush on his face. Varhen suddenly chuckled, knowing exactly why the Bann was having a hard time, he could smell it.

"Bann Tegan, have you told your brother?" Zevran chuckled as the Bann blinks in shock then he shakes his head wildly completely and totally embarrassed now. He shakes his hands rapidly, his face screaming embarrassment.

"N-no, he doesn't know… But I came to ask you if you really did want to try your wings and if so when you'd like to try, so I can get a few platforms set up just in case." Tegan stated quickly looking at Varhen with a look that Varhen knew well. It was that slight cringe of I'm sorry and I really did not mean to do that.

"I can try in a few hours I guess… It would be better if I tested them soon." Varhen stated looking thoughtful, maybe when dusk had come, it was still a few hours before the sun began to set and that would give Tegan time to build a few platforms.

"Maybe a little after dusk." Zevran states thinking along the same lines of his lover who nods. Tegan nods understanding the reasoning and quickly leaves after an apology for his disturbance he shuts the door behind him . He tells everyone to leave the two alone for the next few hours as he and a few men start building the platforms.

"Now that we're alone…" Zevran purrs next to Varhen's ear loving the startled jump he gets from him. Zevran's hands slide from Varhen's lower back to his front dangerously close to his groin. Varhen's purr started up and the blush that accompanied it made the Antivan burn with lust. Varhen felt himself heat up as the felling spread through him, something in him came out and his turned his head kissing his Antivan, loving the slight surprise and absolute want that flared through their bond. Zevran's hands traveled lower and Varhen let out a startled moan into the kiss.

"Zev…" Varhen hums after the kiss breaks for air; his hand had come up to thread through the gold hair his other resting over his lover's hands. He felt a need like he hadn't felt before, and it was driving him mad with desire.

"Command me to do what you want Varhen." Zevran whispers into the younger's ear catching the silver eyed man off guard. Varhen blushes but he nods as Zevran draws back, kneeling before him. Looking up at Varhen as the other's cheeks flushed at the sight of the kneeling Antivan looking at him with desire and a deep seated lust.

"Command me, My Warden." Zevran whispers knowing full well the other could hear him. Varhen felt his cock twitch at Zevran's words but he couldn't think about what to tell his lover. He tried to calm his racing thoughts and mind. Varhen flushed keeping his eyes closed, revealing the black line around his eye that accented them and further brought out the silver.

"Kiss me." Varhen said his voice trembling with his uncertainty. Zevran's gold eyes flashed and he chuckled, standing fluently and pecking Varhen on the cheek. He loved the other's flush, and amusement coming over their bond.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Varhen murmurs blushing as the other continues to apply butterfly kisses to his jaw line. Pulling away Zevran chuckles and kisses Varhen fully on the lips. Varhen tangled his hands in golden hair needing and wanting the other man closer.

"What is your desire?" Zevran asks after pulling back from the kiss feeling Varhen press against him. Varhen looks into his lover's eyes blushing and letting his feelings flow to allow Zevran to understand his need, love and other emotional tumult. Varhen took a step back undoing the four silver buttons on the cloak slipping it off over his wings, careful not to pull one in a wrong direction. He assumed the others had taken off the chest piece earlier as he no longer had it. He saw the crimson tint and winced as he shifted his neck.

"Strip out of your armor, and only your armor." Varhen answers his eyes flashing brightly with a plan. He'd grown used to Zevran taking charge and while he'd rather take the passive role when it came to their love life he could get used to taking the more dominate role. Zevran chuckled and took off all his armor which left him in only his leather pants.

"Your next command?" Zevran asks his cocky grin in place as Varhen's confidence grew, he could feel it, but Varhen's uncertainty was also there. Varhen, who had also taken off his armor, looked back at Zevran his breath catching not having expected Zevran's chest to be bare. His tattoos curled around his chest in swirls that took form as crows then dissolved into feathers. His eyes followed the patterns till they disappeared below leather.

"Lean against the bed, then hold still." Varhen stated trying hard to reel in the urge to jump Zevran then and there. Zevran leaned against one of the four posters a raised brow silently asking what Varhen was planning. When Zevran was leaning back Varhen tried hard not to just call off his plan, his nerves working on his confidence.

"Varhen?" Zevran asks not moving from his laid back position as Varhen edged forward, worrying on his lower lip. Zevran's eyes widen as Varhen lowers himself to his knees before him, a deep blush across the pale cheeks. Zevran goes to stand but Varhen's hand against his lower abdomen stops him in his tracks.

"I said not to move, remember?" Varhen states looking up at his lover's face, slightly pained because of the dried blood pulling at his skin. Varhen's hand lowered and he untied the drawstrings on the other's pants, his flush becoming darker as he freed Zevran's need.

He blushed running his fingertips over the straining member Zevran's breath stutters in response his eyes catching Varhen's as the pale lips close around his cock like it was candy. Varhen meets his gaze steadily his head bobbing and his own need spiking in response to Zevran's low moans. Varhen can't resist for long and slips a hand down into his own pants desperate for the friction, his eye lids lowering a fraction as he moans around Zevran who twitches and resists the urge to tangle a hand in Varhen's hair.

"Varhen… I won't be able to hold back much longer." Zevran hissed resisting the growing urge to grab Varhen's hair and hold him place while he thrust into that gorgeous mouth. Varhen picked up his pace employing a few tricks on Zevran while he continued to pump his own cock. When Zevran was at his peak his will wavered and his hand shot out to curl into Varhen's raven hair, Varhen's own pleasure coursing through their bond and making him feel like he was exploding with ecstasy.

Varhen chocked for a moment, his own need and the unexpected rush coming through the bond throwing him off. Quickly recovering Varhen pulled back after Zevran had finished bucking and looked back up seeing his lover's hand quickly withdraw and feel embarrassment come from the older male. He still needs to cum badly but he just can't, something was holding him back. Standing he kisses Zevran, feeling the other quickly harden against him.

"Zev, I need you… Please." Varhen murmured against his Antivan's lips. He wasn't lying, he felt like he was about to burst from the pleasure coursing through him. Zevran kissed him again untying the shirt and carefully pushing it off his lover's shoulders and wings. Varhen slipped out of his silk pants then out of the leather ones as well as his boots. Zevran grinned at the revealed skin, admiring its pale beauty while Varhen flushed, his wings fluttering nervously.

"You are gorgeous…" Zevran chuckled as he slips out of his own leather pants. He gently guided Varhen back toward the bed allowing the other to crawl up onto the bed but when Varhen stayed on his hands and knees Zevran became puzzled, and saw Varhen's blush extend to his neck and felt a wash of uneasiness from his lover.

"Just take me like this…" Varhen stated, trying not to blush any harder, feeling Zevran's confusion and hesitance. Zevran hummed running a hand up Varhen's back causing the younger man to shiver and look back at him.

"Gladly." Zevran whispers leaning down next to Varhen's twitching ears. Varhen blushed and groaned his cock twitching at Zevran's seductive purr. Varhen looked over his shoulder at his lover just as the other had leaned back stroking himself back to life. Varhen began to purr and twitch desperately wanting something to ease the heat and pressure building in him. Zevran walked to the bedside table and pulled up a bottle of oil Varhen recognized as the one Zevran only used on a few occasions; it was the one vial from Antiva.

"Zev…" Varhen whimpers impatience and need causing him to try and speed Zevran, who glances over a smirk painting his lips. Varhen knew that look; he almost groaned in despair, Zevran was going to play with him. He felt himself twitch at the thought and his heart stutter then speed into a fast rhythm, but he was already painfully hard, he needed Zevran badly already.

Zevran could feel Varhen's rush of exhilaration, then his heavy need and finally hitting him hard was love. Zevran froze for a moment the bond had revealed something that made him fear… But at the same time made him feel secure by his lover's side. Varhen wanted and loved him so why did he feel so scared?

"Varhen, command me." Zevran whispered, deciding to torture his lover, sliding into something he knew well, lust. Varhen whimpered and Zevran felt himself twitch, needing his Warden more by the second.

"Just take me, please!" Varhen whimpered his whole body seeming to blush at the begging tone in his voice. Zevran felt his lust pound through him harder, resisting his urge, he runs and hand down Varhen's spine, petting the black tail affectionately before running a teasing fingertip over Varhen's entrance, causing the other to shiver and look over his shoulder at Zevran.

"Just take you? You don't want me to prepare you or pleasure you any other way?" Zevran purred his hand running down the back of the milky white thigh to slip under the young mans chest only brushing the need there. Varhen gasps and jerk as if he'd been electrified. Zevran barley held in his groan as he felt Varhen's ecstasy.

"N-no, touch anywhere… just… oh Zevran, _please_!" Varhen begged his accent coming forward and Zevran's eyes flashed. His desire to hear his Warden scream finally broke his will to tease and he leaned down kissing between the younger's shoulder blades, pleased to see the wings ruffle in response. Varhen's face heated up as he continued to watch his lover.

"As you command." Zevran hums pouring some amber liquid over his fingers before nudging Varhen's leg's father apart, Varhen's tail sweeping out of the way and staying craned to the side as Zevran stretched him, mercilessly pounding his prostate, keeping him from cumming with a firm grip on his cock. Deeming the other prepared he slips onto the bed and pours a little more of the remaining lube onto his erection.

"Oh, Creators…" Varhen whimpers his pleasure wound almost painfully tight around his spine. Running a hand back over Varhen's back and then slipping under his chest to caress the skin there. Varhen kept twitching and letting out small mewls for more. Zevran chuckles as he leans forward to whisper into a twitching ear.

"I do believe the Creators have nothing to do with this…" Zevran murmured playfully tweaking a nipple which caused Varhen's whole body to twitch. Trying to get his lover to hurry Varhen pushed back, his wings twitching out then back in several times.

"Patience is a virtue." Zevran chuckles as he gets a prolonged groan from his exasperated lover. Varhen's emotions continued to pound through their bond and they all went straight to his groin, but for all his words he couldn't resist any longer. He slowly entered Varhen groaning as the tight heat enveloped him.

Varhen breathed a sigh of pleasure his torture finally put to an end. Zevran took him slowly which Varhen didn't mind, just the gentle brushes being enough. He couldn't believe how good it could feel. The feelings from Zevran, he could tell when his lover felt his peak nearing and a sudden thought burst in, still not having had cum.

"Zev mark me, please…" Varhen whimpered the coil of heat just on the verge of snapping, Zevran kisses between black wings nodding as he slowly picks up his pace needing to badly. When he feels his peak explode he groans Varhen's name throwing any thought out the window he bites Varhen's neck at the juncture to his shoulder, his groan muffled as he draws blood. Varhen gasps and shouting out his lover's name finally releases. Both crumple to the bed panting Varhen shaking from the best time he'd had yet with Zevran.

"I'm sorry, Varhen…" Zevran murmurs after coming down from his high looking at the wound with guilt. Varhen opens his eye a smile on his lips. He loved this man dearly, always knowing that deep down the elder had a tender side.

"I asked you to. I'll deal with the pain knowing it's a reminder of who I belong next to." Varhen states as he purrs loudly in contentment. Zevran kisses him hard loving his Warden more than ever, though he tried so hard to hide his true heart from his mind. Varhen felt the affection and nuzzled further into Zevran side after being released from the kiss. They both slip into an easy sleep Varhen's wing coming up to cover their forms from any who might come in as they rested.

A/N: Yay! Three chaps for gifts posted so happy dear creators it's been so long. Hope you review, hugs for all my loyal fans! :)


	19. Spreading Your Wings

A/N: So Var has wings and cat like appendages? And for a while was a cat bird snake thing? Le gasp! Well any way, let's teach him to fly eh?

Disclaimer: I make no money from this, and I own nothing.

Warnings: Um cursing and I think that's all some fluff that's it I'm pretty sure…

Last chapter:

"_They both slip into an easy sleep Varhen's wing coming up to cover their forms from any who might come in as they rested."_

Chapter Nineteen: Spreading Your Wings

Varhen woke up first, a soft rapping on the door waking him up easily from the light rest. Slipping out of bed trying not to disturb his lover he grabbed his leather pants and cloak. Being decently covered he peeked out the door seeing a slightly pink Tegan.

"The platforms are ready, and dusk is quickly approaching, and you two should come and eat something." Tegan rambled off stopping and trying desperately to hold eye contact with Varhen.

"We'll be down in a few moments." Zevran murmured from behind Varhen, who jumped and blushed as he looked over his shoulder at his still nude lover who stood by the bed stretching. Tegan had jumped as well not having seen the Antivan stand, then going scarlet seeing him nude.

"Well then I hope to see you in the dining room." Tegan said quietly slipping away still blushing, although it was darker now. Varhen closed the door turning around to nearly faint, Zevran's tattoos were beautiful curves that only seemed to work to highlight his own beauty. Zevran, who had actually leaned back against the wall knowing his lover would see him, was smirking as he watched his lover look him over with a hunger in his silver eyes.

"Amore, I know I'm a breath taking sight but men are not supposed to swoon at the sight of their naked lovers." Zevran chuckled finding a pair of his own leather pants and slipping into them while Varhen pulled on his black silk and his green shirt and re-slipped into his cloak, all washed and free of the dried blood. Zevran again tied up the shirt and kissed Varhen while buttoning the cloak at its four chest high points.

"And to think, there was once a time you were even cockier than this." Varhen chuckled taking a deep breath after the kiss to fill himself with Zevran's unique aroma. Zevran had noticed Varhen's habit of doing that, taking in his scent constantly as if he were his drug.

"To think you are addicted to me." Zevran chuckled as Varhen went pink and quickly walked out the door. Zevran followed and whispered quietly under his breath about how many different ways he could please him, by the time they'd arrived in the dining room Varhen was pure pink, and sending glances at Zevran that screamed nervous but curious.

"We got the rest of the report from Alistair and Wynne… Do you know how to shift back into the creature you were?" Eamon asks hesitantly, Varhen ducked his head uncomfortable with all the sudden stares. He shrugged not knowing since he had not tried.

"I do not know since I have not attempted to…" Varhen answered truthfully, he'd known when he'd tried and wanted to shift back into an elf, but he had no idea if he could turn back. Truthfully it made him uncomfortable thinking about this.

"Another thing to try I guess." Alistair shrugged looking as Varhen with his normal lopsided grin, hoping to ease the elf's obvious unease. Varhen silently thanked him for the normalcy and sat next to the Ex-Templar as Zevran sat across from him.

They all ate a good meal talking quietly among themselves, not mentioning anything about Varhen's oddities. Since when they began to think about it Zevran noticed their silence and shot them a look that said don't try it. Varhen was thankful for not getting bombarded with questions and smiled for the whole meal, rarely Varhen's smiles lasted longer than a moment since the whole affair that had started at Fort Drakon, and even before then it had been rare for his smile to linger. Wynne noted in her mind that that before Drakon Varhen had eased and was no longer so grim, and she realized Zevran's presence kept Varhen calm even before his chimera blood came out. She needed to talk with Zevran, and soon.

After the meal was finished though Varhen got twitchy as they walked to the courtyard and saw the platforms, all different heights scattered around. Tegan led him to the only one with a ladder leading to the top and gave a tentative smile. Varhen was pale and gave a shaky nod back before climbing to the top. Dusk had set in and almost no one was out and none close enough to notice Varhen's activities.

Spreading his wings, seven feet of black feathers at each side, he took a deep breath and looked at the nearest platform, around ten feet in front of him slightly to the right, but it was slightly higher than his current one. With a quick breath he jumped and tried not to panic as he lost some altitude quickly making it up when instinctively he beat his wings a few times.

Landing shakily on the next platform, he felt exhilarated, the air had whistled around him for those few moments but it set his heart racing with a strange new joy. Looking down he saw the other's look like they were in awe, Zevran was smiling and had a slightly confused feeling coming from him. Varhen suddenly got worried and Zevran's smile grew, he shook his head and gave a thumbs up. Varhen hesitantly looked back around worrying about what to do next.

"See if you can get to that far platform." Tegan said pointing over to a platform that was a few feet higher than the one Varhen was currently on and thirty or so feet away.

"If I die I'm blaming you." Varhen stated halfheartedly joking as he launched into the air, beating his wings and rising a good ten or so feet before gliding in a steady line toward the platform having to flap periodically because lack of wind. Landing easier than he had the first time he was grinning, it hadn't been as exciting because he wasn't darting through the air but it was so freeing to feel the air around him.

"Wow, are you sure you've never done this before?" Tegan asks watching as Varhen jumped up and circled the platforms, slightly shaky as he get's used to the idea of being in the air.

"Never in my life; although it feels as if I have in a distant memory." Varhen stated chuckling as he spiraled upwards, thrilled as the air played in his hair and gently pet his feathers, it felt right somehow. With a deep breath he turned sharply diving down, his wings tucked in, he snaps his wings out as he neared the ground and he landed in a crouch and a soft thud on a platform, his breath coming in gasps. His blood was pumping through him like he was in

"Merda, never do that again." Zevran gasped looking paler than normal. All the others gave soft exclamations of wonder and slight anxiety for seeing that reckless stunt. Varhen had felt the sharp spike of fear and looked down at the Antivan trying to silently say sorry.

"I'm going to practice this until my wings tire, I'm too awake now, and well they feel… weak, I don't know how else to describe it." Varhen stated looking slightly confused. Zevran nodded feeling the tumult of emotions his lover was going through and smiled. This was relaxing to the pale elf, though it was new and he dared say dangerous.

"Maybe that old tome would be a good idea, no?" Zevran called up and chuckled as Varhen blushed seeming to have forgotten it before his lover's remark. Nodding Varhen again leapt into the air beating his wings hard trying to rise as high as he could, which wasn't far.

He'd reached the highest tower on Eamon's estates before the strain of going up became to much and Varhen turned and used a tight cork screw to go down. Landing he took several slow breaths like he'd run a great distance before he got a wicked idea that almost made him purr. He felt the awe Zevran felt and wondered how far he could take that.

Narrowing his eyes he looked at the shining moon. Tomorrow it would reach it's full and he smiled, it felt so serine to be here, his wings stretched wide as if in greeting to the large round orb of silver light. Jumping into the air he zipped in several directions testing how fast and steady he could make a turn, testing several ideas he finally found a way to turn almost on a dot.

Lightly beating his wings just enough to keep him in the air he started to… dance for the lack of a better word, he swooped and circled and made complex patterns in the silver light. Finally his wing's beginning to feel heavy he gently circled and glided to the ground easily lighting down as if he had only hoped into the air a few inches.

It was only an few hours that had passed yet it had felt like an eternity in the sky. Varhen blushed as Zevran made a comment about the way he'd danced through the air like an angel of night, and when everyone agreed with him Zevran grinned like he'd won something. Varhen leaned on his lover trying to stay awake as drowsiness licked at his mind now that the air was no longer moving around him as he shaped it.

"I believe it is time for rest." Wynne said gently smiling as the dark haired elf fought to keep awake. Shade rubbed his cold nose on Varhen's hand which effectively startled the half awake elf, who now couldn't stop shaking because he was to busy laughing at himself.

"Shade you brat you scared me." Varhen chuckled as he crouched down to rub his Mabarie's neck and tried to stop his shakes which were really from getting the shock of a cold wet nose pressed to his hand. Shade just barked happily bumping Varhen's face with his head like a cat would. Varhen responded in kind restating his head on Shade's and giving an soft purr as he scratched behind the war hound's ears.

After that everyone headed to their respectable rooms, Varhen absently petting Shade's ears as they walked along the hall. Zevran was looking at his lover as he felt a serine calm come from the young man, it just didn't seem normal, but he would not deprive his Warden the moment of peace.

Reaching their room Zevran pushed open the door and looked back at Varhen who seemed to be struggling to stay awake. Smiling Zevran gently guides him to the bed pulling off the cloak and shirt, letting the blushing younger slip out of the black silk on his own.

"Come to bed it's time to rest." Varhen whispers into Zevran's ear almost purring when the elder wrapped his arms around him and hummed. Varhen knew he wouldn't get to bed so easily, he laid his head on Zevran's shoulder and hugged him, not sure what came over him. Zevran stiffened for a moment but relaxed feeling Varhen stiffen up as well, but he felt a strange de ja vue…

'_Pretend you took me and relax…' _Suddenly the memories from the Fade flooded him and he tightened his hold on Varhen, realizing how close he'd come to losing the pale man before him.

"Alright, let's get you to bed, your exhausted." Zevran said no longer wanting to tease his lover, more worried about his weariness coming through their bond. He led his young elf to their bed. Curling up Varhen reminded him of a large cat, just like when they had first met face to face.

"Good night, My Warden." Zevran whispers curling around the lithe man, before they both slip into their dreams. Zevran continued to feel Varhen's weariness but that seemed to be a permanent fixture, which he hoped he might help ease. He may not be able to carry his lover's burden, but he could help him and ease it's weight even if for only a few moments.

Waking up the next morning Varhen found Zevran already up and dressed in his armor, a soft grin on his face. Sitting up and throwing his legs over the edge Varhen was about to get up when Zevran stopped him. He slipped down to kneel in front of him a wicked grin on his lips.

"Relax, you have not woken late, I just woke early. " Zevran stated although he wouldn't say out loud that was because his dreams had turned to nightmares of losing his Dalish elf. Varhen blushed as Zevran's gloved hand ran up his inner thigh, and his breath became slightly ragged. With the hand rubbing certain parts through tight leather Varhen quickly began panting his blush only worsening.

"Z-zev…" Varhen panted falling back and trying desperately not to make embarrassing mewling noises. Zevran just chuckled pulling the leather pants down to indulge his Warden who was now making noises to make even the lustful assassin blush. After Zevran made sure to bring Varhen to his peak twice he allowed the now content and blushing man to get up and pull on his armor.

"You have to have release as well, since I know both your hands were causing me such exquisite torture…" Varhen purrs rubbing up against the taller elf. Zevran chuckles his hands slipping down to hold Varhen's hips.

"That's not entirely true, hearing your own pleasure was enough, as well as getting that extra push of your own pleasure." Zevran chuckles a soft blush coating his cheeks at the slightly embarrassing admittance. He left it unsaid his desperation to make certain his lover was still alive and he wasn't trapped in another dream had kept him flaccid. Varhen looks surprised but a deep blush tints his own cheeks, exactly what Zevran was aiming for.

"It's nice to know the bond functions both ways." Varhen says quietly Zevran chuckles and kisses the younger who leans into the gesture. A knock on the door stops them from going any further.

"Yes?" Zevran calls after pulling away from the kiss only slightly. Varhen looks over his shoulder at the door, that's still closed, wondering who was on the other side.

"Are you both decent?" Alistair's voice filters through the door, Varhen chuckles walking to the door and opening it. Almost doubling over as he sees Alistair is bright red. Zevran teases the Templar a few moments before they finally go down with the other to breakfast, Varhen's large black wings lightly folded against his shoulders, not the tensed position they normally were.

The three were chatting animatedly as they joined the large group that seemed to quiet down seeing the young elf and his still all too new feathered appendages. Alistair and Zevran made it a point to continue the normal behavior by keeping Varhen engaged in a debate about tactics, and the tactical value of the diversity of classes within a party.

"Well, Zev, although as you've said a party of rogues, even if each a different class, would be incredibly useful, there are draw backs. If directly engaged they will either flee or die, because let's face it we rouges are not ones for boldly rushing headfirst into fights. We need and function best when stealth, speed and maybe a healthy bit of luck is on our side." Varhen looked at Zevran with a very serious and determined look but quickly looked toward the chuckling Knight on his other side.

"However Alistair there are similar problems with a full party of warriors, you are brash and courageous fighters, you draw attention to yourselves and take pressure off the others in your company, but with only warriors who is left to aid the now swarmed men? It would be nothing more than a glorified blood bath after a short time. However balance is just as good, although I tend to lean towards having two rouges a mage and of course my loyal war hound." Varhen's seriousness had worn off as Shade hopped up into his lap like an Orlesian lapdog. Alistair looked cheated, knowing the party Varhen was referring to.

"And where do I figure?" The Ex-Templar pouted comically crossing his arms his lower lip trembling. Varhen started laughing unable to contain it as Shade wiggled like mad licking his face and coupling that with Alistair's dramatics was just too much. Varhen tried pushing off his hound as Alistair grinned lightly.

"You're the dog." Zevran stated grinning as Alistair had just taken a drink of water only to spray it back out and look at Zevran sputtering. Varhen fell out of his chair from laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face at the look on his fellow Warden's face. Zevran and Alistair shared a laugh having found Varhen's laughing fit amusing in and of itself.

"C-can…t br-breath!" Varhen gasped truly looking like he was laughing too hard to even get a slight breath. Zevran leaned down and whispered something into the twitching ears that sent the rogue into a sudden stretch of still silence, not even breathing for a second. Suddenly gasping for breath Varhen sat back in his chair his face looking red from lack of air. Among other things.

"Forgive me..." Varhen said quietly now blushing and looking around the table looking slightly more than a little embarrassed from his lack of self control. Everyone shared a quite chuckle and went back to eating. Varhen was fidgeting constantly, until finally Alistair couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh Dear Maker could you keep your hands out of his pants for ten minutes!?" The knight shouted surprising everyone and sending Varhen into a blushing fit as his head lowered to a clear spot on the table with a loud thud. The reason he'd been fidgeting had nothing to do with Zevran it had been the damned glances. Zevran smirked and an evil glint entered his eye that had Alistair regretting his sudden outburst.

"Oh, jealous are we? Afraid I might steal him away from you?" Zevran's devilish grin got both Knight and pale elf, who had raised his head, to blush and Zevran just chuckled, going back to eating as Varhen quickly did the same to avoid prying eyes.

"Um… You won't actually leave will you? I mean the land will need you after this Blight." Leliana asks many of the other's sharing her look of concern, Varhen sighs and looks up at the ceiling, before looking at everyone. He had wanted to hide and die in reclusion after this was over, if he lived past it, he didn't enjoy the attention the end of the war would bring to him.

"No they won't. Fame only lasts as long as the threat defeated is fresh in the minds and hearts of the people. I'll only be honored for a few years before I'm just another elf again… No I'll just be a Chimera… We need to see how much influence we can gather yes? Let's go, Wynne, Alistair, Zev, Shade, come on." Varhen stated glumly standing and leaving the table having all his equipment on anyway he headed to the armory to see if Wade had finished with his remaining armor. Zevran and Shade were right behind him, and they both felt worried for the petit elf.

"Here for your armor? It's over there." Wade stated happily having already made several items for Varhen and liking the elf who saw potential in his enemies' tough hides. Varhen just gave up and pulled off the cloak letting the wings out he could not wear the chest piece with them, but as soon as he saw the feathers Wade was thinking of ways around them.

Slipping into an unoccupied room Varhen slipped out of the silk and into tight fitting armor, almost crying with joy. Pulling on the gloves and boots Varhen looked formidable, but with the shirt throwing it off a bit he looked damn good too.

"Hmm… I think tight armor was defiantly a good exchange, no?" Zevran chuckled loving the blush that swelled over the pale features, the black silk resting on one strong arm. He liked the way the armor hugged the supple legs, long and firm but covered in milky silk like skin.

"I'm just glad my damn tail was thought of." Varhen stated turning to allow Zevran to get a full view of the armor knowing full well the other was going to ask anyway. Wade eyed his wings and a brilliant idea came to his mind and he zipped off to do it, leaving the lovers unattended in the armory.

"Well, my little Chimera…" Zevran purred loving the change it brought in the other, Varhen's eyes flashed and brightened with lust. He smiled as the younger man looked away keeping himself in check.

"Zev not here. Not now." Varhen whispered looking toward the door that led to Wades workspace. Zevran chuckled and took a step forward wrapping the smaller elf in a warm embrace, leaning down and kissing the others lips.

"Why does everyone leave you two unattended?" Alistair half joked turning away from the embraced two, while Wynne just chuckled warmly at seeming the wings instinctively wrap around their startled owner and the one embracing him.

"It seems we have to go, alas, I was hoping we had more time. Ah well, let us follow our fearless leader." Varhen was already flustered now adding embarrassment and a sudden spike of anxiety at the last words out of Zevran's mouth. A bright red Varhen zipped to his cloak and pulled it on before zipping to the front doors and waiting for the three others, Shade having kept pace with him.

"I've never seen you move that fast." Alistair chuckled Zevran just grinned but felt a tad bit worried. Wynne just sighed and walked up to Varhen's side letting him open the door for her, as the others joined her Varhen with Shade at his heels was the last out. His gloves brushed the door in an almost caress and his boots made no noise as he walked away.

"Well, let's go to the Tavern and hope that we can get some nobles on our side." Varhen stated hopefully really hoping they could get enough favor to win. As they made their way to the Tavern Varhen noticed a guard captain looking taxed and decided right after this they could go see what troubled him.

"Does anyone else feel like we are being watched?" Zevran whispered, Wynne looked startled and Alistair jumped not having expected the Assassin to suddenly hiss next to his ear.

"All the time, but now it feels as if someone with an evil intent is watching yes." Varhen answered quietly his silver eyes were dark with worry and interest. Had Loghain hired more men to thwart their attempts to stop him?

"We need to go to The Pearl to give a currier a package so let's do that first before we go to the Nobles, just to see the outcome." Alistair states looking over towards the exit that would allow them to head towards The Pearl, without going through the Ailenage. Varhen's pulled his wings to his back as tightly as he could to keep them hidden as he walked next to Alistair on their path towards the Pearl.

A/N: Well I'll just cut right here and laugh cause that really is a nice wrap up for this chapter! Any way review whatever bye!


	20. Breaking Them

A/N: Well here we are chap 20 dear lord… Well here we go.

Disclaimer: I make no money from this, and I own nothing.

Warnings: Minor depression and some fluff maybe lemon but not much

Last chapter:

"_Varhen's pulled his wings to his back as tightly as he could to keep them hidden as he walked next to Alistair on their path towards the Pearl."_

Chapter Twenty: Breaking Them

They rounded a corner and up the steps stood a man Varhen didn't recognize but knew in a strange sense, he felt pain shoot through him and shot a look towards Zevran. Zevran's face had become guarded but Varhen could feel the pain radiating from him. Looking back up he saw several other's come up to stand with the man Varhen heard several other's behind them although the movements were soft he heard them. Looking closer Var spotted the traps at the foot of the stairs then his eyes travel back to the semi-stranger.

"I see…" Zevran muttered pain still flowing from him to lick at Varhen, who was fidgeting badly. He shot a look towards the other and came up to stand next to his Warden, a protective gesture that the assassin in front of them would mistake for something else.

"Well, well, Wardens, the Crows send their regards once again." The lead man stated, Varhen shook his head slowly why did he sound familiar? Zevran used a concealed movement to give Varhen's hand the softest brush, a reassurance more for him than the Warden but still it helped both sides.

"The first time didn't work so well, what makes you think that it'll work this time?" Alistair stated crossing his arms over his chest and in his dragon bone plate armor he looked formidable. Everyone in the party nodded encouragingly but the Templar realized what he'd done and silenced himself blushing.

"Well, Talisan, did you volunteer for the job?" Zevran asks Varhen has never heard this tone from his lover and his ears twitch and try to catch the sound better while still staying down, He sounded… Sad, but also determined but more in a resigned sense. This was the voice of a man who was about to kill a friend, Varhen remembered the tone from when he'd had to kill Tamlin.

"I volunteered of course! When I heard the great Zevran had gone rouge I had to see it for myself!" Talisan answered cheekily swaggering a few paces in a way that was clearly flirtatious, Varhen held back a growl. Zevran looked over toward Varhen when he felt a wash of possessiveness and anger run through the smaller male, and smiled.

"Well you came and you saw." Zevran replied his face going back to being blank as soon as he looked away from his lover. Talisan looked rather miffed for a moment before a smile stretched across his lips. Varhen was reminded of a twitchy tailed cat, but shoved the resulting mental image away trying not to snicker.

"You can come back, Zevran, anyone can make a mistake and we can make up a story. Come on Zev." Talisan saw the immediate effects of his words, the knight twitched and looked at Zevran closer the mage became nervous and looked toward their leader while Zevran was shocked letting it clearly show through his mask. The leader himself, Talsan realized with relish looked pained and scared.

"Zevran, this is your path to choose, I will not stop you if you wish to go." Varhen murmured this as he drew a dagger and held onto the sharp blade holding the pommel out to Zevran a clear offer to slit his throat. Zevran looked pained as he looked from Talisan to Varhen when he saw the blade his face blanked and he blinked. Varhen would die to keep him happy? Dear Maker what did he do to deserve this man?

"I'd never let that happen. I swore I was yours without reservation." Zevran said his eyes flashing as he took the dagger turned it around with a deft twitch of his fingers and pressed the pommel into his lovers hand. Closing his hands around Varhen's single one and kissing the others knuckles, savoring the look of utter relief, and joy flooding through the bond. The sudden rush of surprise and that feeling that still startled and made Zevran edgy suddenly grounded him and made him feel the happiest he'd felt in a long time. Saddening at what he had to do he looked back up at Talisan.

"I'm sorry my friend, I'm not going back to the Crows, and you should have stayed in Antiva." Zevran's face fell as he looked up at his old friend not wanting to do this he pulled his daggers as Talisan sneered in obvious disgust and anger. He glared at Varhen and suddenly the Chimera felt a spike of fear as Talisan's gaze settled on him.

"You've gone soft! Ah oh well… get them!" Talisan hisses slipping forward with the grace of any assassin. Varhen pulls his blades to deflect the blows that went flying at him, barley deflecting the first onslaught, but settled into the pace. Zevran went to disable the traps, and in a moment of breath Varhen rolled back and cut two throats of the Crows that had tried to close off their escape.

He hooked a foot under a bearclaw trap and kicked it at Talisan who moves out of the way and the trap closes around another Crow's leg, the man was put out of his misery by Alistair and Varhen's fight continued. Talisan was aiming at him why? Suddenly he found out, he'd felt fear spike through him and his eyes shot over to Zevran he saw the Antivan tare through the last assassin, but then a fire erupted in his shoulder and he lurched off his feet and toward Talisan's waiting blades.

"NO!" Zevran screamed sprinting at Talisan only for the other Crow to turn as if he'd planed this, and when Zevran collided with him they fell into a battle that was clashes of bloody blades and screams of steel against steel. Varhen had landed several blows to put Talisan to shame, but Zevran wasn't defending he was going for an all-out offensive, giving Talisan no time to strike out.

"I'll kill you!" Zevran snarled slashing and dancing in a deadly rhythm that Talisan matched step for step. The Crow smiled his blade flashing teasingly as he dueled his deluded 'friend'. He smirked and snickered as a scream rent the air as the poison on the crossbow bolt finally took hold on Zevran's newest play toy. Zevran's eyes flickered and a pained look flashed over his face but he refused to lose to this Bastard, Varhen needed him to survive.

Varhen felt like everything was on fire, it was like his most painful memory had been forced on him again. The marks blazed and his body burned and his bones felt like they were shattering, his muscles felt like they were tearing. Wynne ran up and was trying to calm it all, but the contact of magic made the pain double and he couldn't hold back the scream it ripped from him. He tried to grasp onto the pain fearful he'd distract Zevran, but not sure how to pull back such feeling.

"You'll never feel him again! That poison was shipped to us as well as it's recipe, it kills any kind of bond a Chimera forges with someone. It also kills them in the process. It is a painful way to die if you're an elf or human too. It basically makes your body relive it's most painful memory and will persist and increase the pain until you have no pulse. Oh, and magic, only makes it worse." Talisan snickers as Zevran looks scared and suddenly just draws back and retreats from the fight, dropping his blades by Varhen's side he pulled the younger elf into his lap, petting the wild strands of void black from a snow white face streaked with tears and silver Valisan.

"Varhen, look at me… Dear Maker…" Zevran actually looked scared Varhen's eyes couldn't focus and even his touch wasn't soothing his Warden, and that's when it hit him, more so the lack of it. He should feel his lover's agony, instead he felt nothing, he felt empty… He felt like crying.

"Z-zev… Don't c…cry…" Varhen weakly hissed between waves of pain seeing his Antivan break down hurt, it hurt even more than the blank nothingness he felt coming from the man he so dearly loved. Zevran blinked sure enough he was crying, and Varhen had seen it. He looked at his lover as he jerked in pain and then glanced over his shoulder, Talisan was shocked into stillness. He hadn't though Zevran truly cared.

"There has to be an antidote." Alistair stated Zevran's thoughts aloud pulling at his short hair in dismay. Talisan sneered but his hand drifted to his pocket and Zevran lunged anger flowing through him, he'd get that cure and he'd kill Talisan if it was the last thing he did. He only had one blade but still Talisan's slowness had allowed him his mark, a deep gash running across his chest that had him collapsing just as Wynne fired a spell at the crossbow man that had hurt their leader. He didn't finish the kill only grabbed the vial holding the liquid that was a strange purple that was labeled Chimaera's Bane cure and ran back to Varhen praying this was it.

"Varhen you have to listen, open your mouth and drink this.." Wynne soothed seeing Zevran was too wild to really calmly approach the situation. Varhen felt like he was dissolving in acid but jerked as he nodded trying to unclench his jaws, when he managed to Zevran poured in a small amount of the cure but just then a spasm rocked Varhen and most flew back out as he sputtered trying to breath, panic and fear evident in his eyes. Zevran just shook his head took a large dose of the cure into his mouth and kissed the young elf thanking the Maker when the young man swallowed after he pulled back.

"Thank the Maker…" Alistair muttered Varhen's shaking finally stopping and his breathing evening out as the cure took effect. Varhen looked up blinking at Zevran as the man above him shook with relief, but suddenly movement caught his eye, in a flash he made the decision and had leapt up and turned Talisan's blade back on him, skewering him effectively. A pain seared through him and he collapsed back down a whimper leaving him as he just tried to not move. Shade whimpered and whined trotting in circles around Varhen, growling at Talisan's corpse then trotting back around his master.

Zevran moved to his lover completely shocked, Talisan was… dead, and had tried to clip off his head while he tended Varhen. Shade let out a nervous whine as he looked up at Zevran, who just patted his large head and knelt next to Varhen. The pale man was trying to take calm even breaths but the constant flick of his ears and tail tip signaled something was wrong. Running a hand over the fluffed appendage Zevran tried to calm all the confusion rushing through him. Varhen stirred at the touch moving just slightly to look up at Zevran, his vision was blurred but he could feel just a faint feeling of foreign but familiar emotions trickling into him. Zevran was confused.

"Zev… I…" Varhen didn't know what to say, he'd just killed Zevran's friend. His fear of Zevran finally leaving him spiked painfully and his breathing nearly stopped, was this his Chimera side? The shear agony of merely thinking of losing Zevran was astounding, but for it to literally happen? He didn't understand all the fear and confusion swirling through him, what was he to do when the man he loved looked so… Blank? Pain and panic became more apparent as he couldn't sense much over the bond, although he'd never actively sought to use it he now felt like he needed it and it was weak near nonexistent. He felt like his heart was caving, maybe the cure was only another poison? Or maybe he was dead and dreaming before he was guided across the beyond?

"I… Varhen calm yourself, I swear I'm not leaving." Zevran stopped talking after feeling most of the faint panic and pain dissipate but he just couldn't think straight relief and confusion swam through him, he was free but Talisan was dead. He sighed and struggled to order his thoughts for a moment before giving up. "I need some time alone Varhen. I'm going to go back to the Arl's estate I'll send someone to take my place but I… I just need some time to think." He whispered quickly getting up when Wynne came over to see if she could finally heal the young elf.

Zevran slipped away the confusion giving way to a war of conflicting emotion, rage, joy, and despair were only a few. He quickly wove through the streets easily avoiding the common people and nobles alike until he came back to Eamon's little mansion. Leliana took one look at him and knew something was off.

"Is something wrong Zevran?" Leliana asks the former Crow who just sighs and tells her she was needed and to meet the rest of the party at the Pearl and that she should not worry about him he was fine. Walking away still worried Leliana slips through the roads quickly using the path the Ex-Crow had described and met the party where the fight had taken place.

"Oh no, what happened?" She asks eyeing the weakly trembling Varhen who was having sever spikes of pain every five or so minuets. Wynne sighed and explained the lack of Zevran's presence had allowed the poison's after effects to swing into full effect, but it couldn't be helped. Leliana asked again and Alistair filled her in on the whole story. In the end she came over to Varhen's side and began petting his twitching tail and smoothing the ruffled feathers. Varhen relaxed slightly but the pain running through him refused to dissipate for another hour.

"I think I can move now, although I feel like I got caught under the hooves of a spooked Halla." Varhen sighed accepting help from Alistair and nearly falling over as he became light headed and nearly fainted. Alistair held him up worry etched clearly on his youthful features. Varhen gave a weak grin trying to comfort the young Ex-Templar. It didn't work.

"Maybe we should send you back Varhen, if you need I'll carry you." Alistair states it was something Varhen smiled at. Alistair was a good leader he just didn't realize it. All the qualities were there, caring for his allies, courage to face his enemies, love for his country and its people, and strong in both spirit and body. Alistair was an altogether good man, which was what great Kings were made of. Varhen shook his head, not ready or wanting to go back, Zevran needed time and so did he. He needed time to think through his strange emotional turmoil that nearly losing Zevran had caused. Just the thought had caused agony to rip through him, Varhen came to a conclusion quickly; losing Zevran would not end well for him.

"No, I don't need nor do I want to rest. I need my time to sort through this emotional storm, and Zevran also needs his. His friend just died Alistair, and I killed him, he needs time and space." Varhen stated wobbling after taking a few steps to test if he was ready to move. After a few moments of wobbling around on slow to steady legs Varhen was both determined and ready to move, after all the bodies had long ago been looted by Leliana.

After reaching the Pearl Varhen leaned against the wall near the door for a while after their arrival. He was taking deep slow breaths to combat the drain and slight pain the traveling had caused him, he half wondered if flying would be easier but dismissed the thought rather quickly. There were not enough clouds for him to consider doing that and casting a shadow that would cause people to look up.

Although, looking up Varhen had a pretty good feeling by tomorrow cloud cover would roll in, most likely midday today, it felt like a storm was coming in, a big one and quickly. Regaining his lost stamina Varhen stood and walked in with his group keeping Shade right next to his side, both to lean on in case he weakened and to keep the hound out of trouble.

"Here I believe this package is for you?" Varhen asked handing a small package over to a dwarf courier who looked at the package as if it held something more valuable than diamonds. Varhen tried to keep a blush from his cheeks as several male whores wolf whistled at him and made very lurid suggestions. Leliana didn't help matters by telling him that they were right and he did look like he needed cheering up.

"I don't need that kind of cheering up, Leliana." Varhen lightly snapped blushing badly as he backed out of the rather, eh, 'respectable' establishment. Walking back to the market took a lot out of Varhen and he had to repeatedly tell Alistair he was not going back yet and they had a job to do, and he'd poke out his eye if he dared pick him up. Alistair relented finally but kept a close watch on the pale elf. They walked to the Guard Captain and talked with him and discussed the situation concerning the Mercenaries at the Pearl and Varhen quickly agreed to help the coin not a down side to aiding an officer of law that wasn't trying to get them hanged.

After again marching to the Pearl which again resulted in Varhen panting and needing a short break they walked in and Varhen easily talked the men out of a fight and out of the Pearl. When Alistair had asked how he'd managed it Varhen only grinned and said a silver tongue was an asset to any rogue. When some of the whores near them snickered Varhen blushed scarlet and quickly turned tail and walked out of the Pearl heading back to the Market to the Captain.

"We did the job…" Varhen states quietly wheezing as he rubs at his chest feeling like he was out of air and his chest was constricting into a tight ball. The Captain asked but Varhen smiled and said he was fine it was just a passing effect from a poison he'd been attacked with earlier. The Captain had then asked if he needed a healer but Varhen had said he had one already look him over and he'd be fine.

"Well if you're interested in another job there are some ruffians in the Gnawed Noble Tavern, however, the management doesn't mind a bit of 'Sport' as she called it." The Captain seemed annoyed but resigned and let Varhen walk away towards the Tavern, even if the pale elf seemed too pale to be healthy. Walking into the tavern Varhen saw Nobles littered throughout the area. Going to the back they found the Crimson Oars.

"Excuse me but you have caused a disturbance, and I have been told by the Guard to ask you to leave." Varhen stated leaning on Shade as he wheezed because lack of air, Wynne drew closer but Varhen waved her away, he knew magic would not help. He needed rest but for now that was not an option. The man laughed in Varhen's face.

"We're the Crimson Oars! We're paying good gold and we're not leaving. Now sod off you blind knife ear." The man chuckled further as Varhen was gripped by a sudden coughing fit. Slowly straightening Varhen glared daggers at the man breathing slightly uneven thanks to the coughing fit.

"I am not blind and I am not scared to draw my blades and show you exactly how good my eyesight is." Varhen growled drawing Reth from its sheath to prove a point. The man scoffed and drew his own sword trying to intimidate Varhen into backing out. Varhen snickered and faked a collapse then surged to his feet slipping under the other's sword and bringing up his blade and pressing it to the warrior's throat. The man drops his blade and stumbles back into the wall, but Varhen moves with him, keeping the blade at his neck.

"Want to rethink leaving?" Varhen growls thankful when this time it doesn't sound weak. Nodding the man gathered his men and left, Varhen was grateful and ended up leaning on the wall as another coughing fit hit him. He sunk to his knees holding himself up with the wall. He let Shade lick his face and Wynne try to heal him but he only needed rest. He weakly slid his sword back into its sheath before relaxing into the wall.

"Alright let's just walk around and see if we can find that one man's father as well as find that other man's sister. And as many other supporters as possible." Varhen finally managed to stand after a half an hour of waiting, but walking proved taxing and he had to lean heavily on Alistair who lead him to a chair and sat him down not yet leaving the room the Crimson Oars had been causing a racket in.

After another half an hour Varhen was no longer breathing heavily and some color had returned to his cheeks. Looking up he was startled to see Alistair leading a few nobles into the room. Quickly explaining one was the sister and the other the father, and Varhen slowly relaxed forgetting his hood was down his ears flicked up and the wide eyed expressions told him immediately what he'd done. He flinched and went to pull up his hood but the female moved forward. Flinching Varhen cringed back but froze as he felt gentle hands run over his ears, a feeling of contentment filled Varhen and a soft purr filled the air.

"This is surely a work of the Maker to bring back a Chimera at a time like this…" She breathed in wonder awe filling her voice and eyes as Varhen risked looking up. She blushed and pulled away mumbling apologies when she spotted Varhen's blush and uncertain fidgeting.

"Well, to avoid any further embarrassment… My son described you in great detail although you have changed since then... May I ask how I can repay you for saving his life?" Varhen looked at the man, he had a surprised awe in his eyes and it still made Varhen uncomfortable. Varhen thought back to saving the young man, he had been tied to one of the torture devices and looked horrid and had been slightly delirious. The fact he'd been described remotely accurately was surprising but Varhen would not say that.

"Help against Loghain would be greatly appreciated but there is nothing I would ask for the deed that was done. No man, elf, or dwarf deserves to be treated like that." Varhen muttered pulling at his hood absent mindedly wanting to flick it up over his ears. The female then asked after why she'd been brought here and Varhen pulled out a ring from a small pouch on his hip and handed it to her explaining the man he'd found in Arl Howe's dungeon. With anger flashing in her eyes she not only gave Varhen a gift but her allegiance at the Landsmeet. Looking at the small but beautiful dagger Varhen realized this was more for show even if it was wicked sharp, it was too small… Unless used as a throwing knife. Looking up at the father he noticed he was looking at him critically.

"My family has many tales concerning your people… One of which speaks of the release of the Shadow Door. The barrier that kept the strongest and most dangerous of your race's enemies sealed away. When the Door was destroyed the shadows broke free and swept through killing any Chimera they could find. They destroyed the Sanctuaries so how is it you live?" The man looked skeptical and eyed him with uncertainty as if admitting this out loud had been difficult. Varhen shrugged caught off guard that a Noble knew these tales.

"I truly have no idea I was just a Dalish hunter until an unfortunate event lead me to be saved by Duncan, the Grey Warden commander until he was lost with our other brothers at Ostagar when Loghain quit the field. I was attacked when weak by a blood mage after that I woke up with the ears tail and fangs. After another encounter with another Blood Mage I sprouted wings and was momentarily stuck as a large cat with feathers." Varhen was too tired and for some strange reason he felt this man was alright, he was okay to talk to. The man now looked astounded as well as impressed.

"You've only had your Chimera side awakened for a few months?" He asks astounded. Varhen let out a weak chuckle and shifted his position. Looking at his slightly shaking hands he shook his head.

"Less. Much less time. A few days, I've been a Chimera for maybe four. That's only the time I've been awake anyway." Varhen weakly chuckled because the last part, he'd hurt more in the last few days than the rest of his life put together. Except the emotional pain from everything that was something he had a hard time believing could be shoved on him in a short few minutes. Looking up he saw interest in the eyes and felt inclined to show exactly what he was.

Acting on his instinct he stood and pulled off the robe letting his wings flare around him and his ears to flick back then up to catch some stray sound. His tail flicked and his eyes took in the Nobles surprise and wonder with amusement shining in their silver depths. Then suddenly Varhen felt a cold chill run up his spine. Instinct kicked in hard and he turned so his back was pressed to a corner as his eyes flickered about frantically looking for… _Something_.

Then it caught his eye at first it was just a flicker, a shadow from the fire but then it moved and Varhen felt a cold fear sweep through him. Whatever it was it felt evil. very few times Varhen had condemned anything, the things he had condemned as pure horror driven nightmares were things he had only ever seen in nightmares.

Nothing in life could be completely evil there was never a complete extreme. This thing that was moving along the edges of the room was though. Varhen felt a chill run through him, and he had no idea why but he growled, low threatening. He heard Alistair ask him what was wrong and the Noble just watched him and followed his line of sight.

"A Shadow." The Noble muttered paling as suddenly the shadow moved again this time taking form and now stood there was no definite shape, but the black form suggested a short person in a stooped position. At first Varhen was uncertain of weather the thing was a threat, but suddenly it moved and so did he. It had moved toward the Noble and Varhen found himself moving in the way and getting slammed into the ground by the black blob.

Fighting it he had a sudden mental image of a wooden spear driving through a shadow much larger than this and the shadow dissolving to a puddle of black ink like liquid. Varhen concentrated on that image of a wooden spear pushing the shadow back with his feet as he raised his hands above his head as a floor board came undone and morphed into a long spear that Varhen then drove through the shadow.

The shadow dissolved into a inky mess Varhen being glad he had moved in time to avoid the black puddle. Varhen started coughing again and tossed the staff away not wanting any of the black goo near him while he was weak. Sitting against the wall the Noble laughed weakly as he moved to kneel by Varhen.

"Grey Warden, and last Chimera I owe you two life debts now. I'll support you in the Landsmeet as well as send soldiers to your aide if called. May this day never be forgotten. The Shadows know you're alive, if you need help against them the only thing I can tell you is look to the elements." With that the Bann left looking stunned. Varhen gulped air for a short while before looking around for Shade who trotted up to rest his large head on Varhen's lap as the shaking elf pet him. After a few tense moments Alistair shook his head and sat down next to Varhen looking at the puddle confused.

"What was that? One moment your backing against the wall in a panic the next that Nobles saying something about shadows then you jump and seem like something hit you. Then you were struggling against nothing, or at least that's what I thought until you stabbed it with that wood spear and turned whatever that was into black goo. How'd you do that?" Alistair rambled looking completely and utterly confused.

"I have no idea I saw an image of whatever that was stabbed with a wooden spear and just kept the wooden spear in mind as I reached out." Varhen sighs rubbing Shade's ears soothingly even though he was the one in need of comfort. Varhen was handed his cloak and slipped into it still sitting on the ground. Getting up slowly they walked out of the room Varhen leaning heavily on Shade as they talked to a few more Nobles before Varhen and Wynne left to go to the Estate and Leliana and Alistair went to get the payment from the guard captain.

When they finally got back to the Arl's estate Varhen was shaking, pale, and slightly green. The knights saw their savior like that and rushed him worried words and calls for Bann Tegan being shouted out as they crowded Varhen. By the time a ruffled looking Tegan was dragged in by a fearful guard. Wynne looked ready to hit a few knights with her staff and Varhen looked like he was about to hurl all over their shiny boots.

"I need to get to Varhen, excuse me, please mo- I said MOVE!" Tegan gave up formality and politeness for order when he was ignored and the knights scrambled to obey, Tegan saw what had the guards on edge. Shade, Varhen's Mabari was snarling up a storm and the already taxed elf was struggling to keep the aggravated war hound down. Tegan moved forward and stopped meeting the hounds eyes trying to portray his desire to help the elf not to aggravate his injuries further. Shade relaxed but he watched Tegan carefully.

"Bann Tegan." Varhen wheezed attempting to be polite having put a lot of breath into keeping his Mabari at heel. Tegan smiled warmly and moved to his side slipping an arm around Varhen's waist then pulled the corresponding arm over his shoulder's to help support the other's weight. Varhen looked surprised but did not object to the help as Wynne lead them to his rooms, where Zevran was.

Zevran had been leaning against the wall looking out at the city only wearing his leather pants and lose cotton shirt. He jumped when the door slammed open and reached for the dagger lying within reach on the bed but stopped seeing Varhen hanging off of Bann Tegan and Shade with his hackles raised as if Varhen were under attack. Mind blanking with horror he was by Tegan and Varhen in moments. His mind was a whirlwind, all he had wanted was time and space to think about what had happened but once he'd thought it through he felt like an ass. He'd left Varhen alone when the other probably hated himself for Zevran's reaction. If Zevran knew Varhen the other was more than likely thinking Zevran hated him for killing Talisan, now Varhen looked like walking death, what had he done?

"Zev…?" Varhen raised his head walking from the door to his room had drained him even with Tegan taking most of his weight he felt like he wasn't getting enough air, and like his chest was getting squeezed inward. He felt weak all his strength and stamina had left him so he was like an Elder on his death bed. It reminded him, his whisper of the Antivan's nick name of a moment he could barely recall.

When he saw his lover he forgot what had happened earlier, forgot that he had needed space, forgot everything and used his last bit of strength to pull away from Tegan. Tegan allowed him to with worried watchful eyes as the young elf pressed his forehead to Zevran's shoulder and clutched at the older elf's shirt as if the man were a life line. As soon as his eyes closed as his hands fisted the older elf's shirt he fainted. His body would have collapsed had Zevran not reacted quickly and had wrapped his arms around his lover careful of the delicate wings.

"Varhen …" Zevran whispered uncertain of what had happened he looked up at Tegan who had moved when the young elf had collapsed but relaxed seeing Zevran could handle the other smaller man. Wynne let out a sigh and explained to the now slightly anxious looking Ex-Crow Varhen was suffering the after effects of the poison and the book might explain why he was being effected so badly. Zevran only nodded and placed his submissive on the bed after the other two left leaving him with an aggravated Shade and one knocked out lover.

Stripping out of his shirt he stripped Varhen down to just his deer skin leggings then crawled onto the bed uncertain if he should be near the other, if he had earned the right to after the way he'd run off. Varhen whimpered in his sleep and one of his hand blindly reached toward him and Zevran's mind was made. He ay have run then, but he would not run again. He laid down next to the smaller elf surprised when the warm body snuggled closer to his, Varhen's hands resting against his chest as if to assure himself of his mate's presence. Zevran wrapped his arms around his mate and fell asleep. Shade curled up by the door and kept guard as his master slept with the assassin.

A/N: Hey I know they have slight OOC-ness going on but think; Zevran does act more tender after the relationship has gone through; he's more tender and fluffy. I'm allowed to twist it further when they are alone.


	21. Healing Them

A/N: Alight, so Varhen needs rest and unfortunately in DragonAge you don't get much. Or at least that's how it seems. Always have more to do and less time to do it in. For Varhen he has the rest of the day and night, then when morning comes he has the following day to wrap up business before… The Landsmeet! DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN! So Varhen essentially has a day and a half to rest and recover from that poison but will that be enough?

Disclaimer: I don't own DragonAge or its content. All I own are my twisted Ideas.

Warnings: Smut, swearing the norm.

Last Chapter:

"_Shade curled up by the door and kept guard as his master slept with the assassin."_

Chapter Twenty One: Healing Them

Varhen didn't wake up until it was nearly nightfall and Zevran was sitting on the edge of the bed still in only his pants humming a strange tune under his breath. Zevran turned when he felt the blankets shift. When he saw Varhen blinking around in confusion he smiled and brushed some hair from the sleep hazed face. Varhen's eyes focused on Zevran and he blushed but his lips tilted up just a hint, Zevran felt his uncertainty melt and leaned down brushing their lips together.

"You're back in Arl Eamon's estate. Are you alright? You fainted almost as soon as you stepped in." Zevran wished he could pull on his mask but it was difficult considering Varhen could sense the feelings of relief, worry, and the mix of everything else. Varhen slowly sat up feeling slightly dizzy but refused to lay back down. He panted shaking slightly as he kept himself propped up on his hands. He blushed but kept his eyes locked with Zevran's feeling the need to just make sure the other was there.

"I remember getting here, I… Forgive my-" Varhen was cut off mid beginning of a ramble with a kiss, at first his eyes widened in surprise but when Zevran chuckled he relaxed and his eyes slipped closed as his hands lifted to tangle in golden hair. Zevran chuckled and moved his younger lover onto his lap so the other man wasn't taxing himself. Varhen felt the bare skin of their chests meet and moaned flushing as Zevran pulled back a surprised look on his face.

"You have just woken and you're lusting after me, normally the other way around is it not?" Zevran teased loving the blush that rose to taint the pale skin. Varhen could sense through the now slightly stronger bond that Zevran felt the same. Both of them wanted the reassurance the other was still in their arms. Varhen just leaned closer brushing his lips against the tanned man's collar bone.

"Are you complaining? You're ridiculously awesome, and irresistible." Varhen chuckles blushing as he lets a hand to come up and caress Zevran's jaw loving the slight hum he earned. Zevran leaned back stroking the feathers on his lover's back chuckling as Varhen began to squirm and make the most delectable noises.

"No complaints here, and yes I am ridiculously awesome let me show you…" Zevran leaned in and began nibbling on Varhen's neck seeking out the well-known sweet spot. Varhen gasped and arched into Zevran, baring his neck to give his lover easier access, and Zevran knew he had found it. Zevran let one hand travel down to stroke the base of the twitching tail getting Varhen to let out a soft groan, he could feel how worked up he was getting his lover but he'd tease just a little longer unless persuaded otherwise.

Varhen squirmed and for a moment forgot his nails were like claws and scrapped them over Zevran's chest. Zevran hissed but felt more pleasure than pain. Varhen however felt the slight pain and flinched realizing what he had done. Zevran chuckled and stopped the other's nervous movement backwards.

"No, Varhen. You did not harm me… At least not in an overly painful manner. A little pain can be good, amore." Zevran chuckled at the curiosity in Varhen's eyes and saw the flicker in the silver gaze to his chest to see the eight thin red lines that smelt of copper. Varhen was still remorseful for having caused harm to his lover but at Zevran's encouragement he finally relented he had not done harm that was unwanted.

Zevran gently coached Varhen to scratch him again. When Varhen did he was surprised, along with pain came a thrill of pleasure. Blushing as he leaned down and licked the scratches soothing the burn they caused, as well as causing them to burn again earned him the softest groan so he scratched the tan skin again, still cautious and it again earned him a hiss of air.

"You enjoy this?" Varhen asks slightly confused how pain could bring pleasure. Zevran chuckled feeling Varhen's thrill of excitement and confusion. He let the question be answered in action and gently moved so Varhen was again in his lap and could feel how much he enjoyed it. Varhen's blush and wide eyes told him everything, with a chuckle he kisses the younger breathless guiding him to lay back down, and this time Varhen didn't fight it.

"Zev… I need you. Please…" Varhen's voice bordered on begging and the assassin could not deny his young lover. He leaned down kissing Varhen as the pale hands trailed down to his hips untying the strings holding his pants closed. Zevran groaned when he felt those dexterous fingers against his heated skin but Varhen had picked up on Zevran's bad habits and avoided what he knew Zevran wanted him to be stroking.

"It seems I've created a monster…" Zevran hummed feeling the hands work his pants down to pool at his knees, which he didn't mind for now as Varhen laid under him being more of a minx than the shy rabbit he had started as. Varhen was still blushing like a virgin but that was something Zevran secretly hoped never changed.

"No; just a sly little fox." Varhen's eyes flashed with mischief as his hand skimmed over his lover's cock getting the man to let out a low moan. Varhen saw Zevran's eyes slip half closed and his lips part just slightly and wanted to see him surrender completely. Slipping slightly lower ignoring the discomfort caused to his wings so he could please Zevran.

Zevran felt the slight stings of pain but based on the determination he felt surging off the other he deduced Varhen didn't care. When he felt what the other was planning he choked on air. He could hardly believe Varhen, who had been so shy was now acting like a lover from Zevran's most lustful fantasies.

"Varhen, what are you planning?" The answer was a quite uneasy chuckle and a soft stuttering purr. Zevran risked looking down and almost regretted it as Varhen ran his fingertips over the swollen rod above him as his other hand had trailed lower over his own body doing Maker knows what. Good thing Zevran had a good imagination. Varhen leaned up and licked the shaft from base to tip before taking in just the head.

"You've learned…" Zevran breathes his hips twitching as Varhen teases him with the softest touches and the occasional lick to the slit. Zevran had both hands fisted in the bed sheets trying not to buck his hips as Varhen tortured him. Beginning to wonder if this was a dream Zevran broke and let out a groan, a wordless plea. Varhen knew and pulled back looking up at a slightly disappointed looking Antivan.

"Roll over for me?" Varhen asked blushing but then again he was rubbing at his own arousal through his leggings as he teased Zevran. Zevran did so chuckling when Varhen momentarily got on his knees so his wings could flap out trying to get the feathers back in place. Varhen huffed when the feathers stayed ruffled and annoying but chose to ignore them as he crawled over to Zevran.

"A sensual little thing aren't you?" Zevran teases Varhen blushes seeing Zevran had kicked his pants off the bed and was now completely nude. Varhen's breath picked up in tempo and his heart quickened its beat at the sight. Zevran felt pride swell in him that he could do so little and yet get his Warden like this.

Varhen felt the pride and chuckled looking over the body before him feeling a sense of awe rise through him that this was for his eyes only. Zevran caught a bit of what Varhen's thoughts were and had to admit it would feel wrong to have intimate contact with anyone else anymore, hell it felt wrong thinking about it. Though where those thoughts stemmed from he had no idea.

The fact he had felt Varhen's thoughts didn't register yet as Varhen began his ministrations again a mischievous smile on his lips. One hand trailed lower softly stroking the heated flesh between his lover's legs as the other ran over the scratched chest gently his claws raising goose bumps where his fingertips trailed. He leaned down and licked a scratch that ran next to a perk nipple, blushing he swiped his tongue over it purring when Zevran twitched and let out a groan.

"Varhen…" the way his name fell from his lover's mouth made Varhen look up slight surprise in his eyes, rarely Zevran used his name. Looking into the molten gold he felt the air leave his lungs Zevran looked like he did when Varhen had sucked him off for the first time. Knowing he had to finish what he started he slipped between Zevran's parted legs and kept his eyes locked with his lover's as he took him to the root. Zevran let a hand lift up to gently run through void black hair as he watched Varhen. He felt the fangs brush against his skin and moaned loving the danger and the enticing feeling.

"Zevran…" Varhen sounded desperate as he pulled away some time later, his breathing heavy and his eyes said it all; he needed Zevran badly and not like this, and Zevran was too much the master of lust to snap so soon. Zevran guided him up so they could kiss and feeling the leather the other still wore made Zevran growl lightly.

"Take it off. " Zevran felt Varhen shiver at the command, but eagerly comply, slipping back to push the restricting leggings down then off, moaning softly as the leather brushes against him. Zevran leans over stroking the hard length and loving Varhen's almost instant surrender. Varhen panted as Zevran continued tormenting him with pleasure, he whimpered and the thoughts running through his mind were begging pleas for mercy.

"Please Zevran, take me, mark me, please!" Varhen had no idea why he'd asked to be marked again but currently didn't care as Zevran presented him with three fingers, he didn't need to be told. He sucked on the digits pleased when he saw the hunger and lust flash in Zevran's eyes. When Zevran deemed that his fingers were coated well enough he pulled them back and slipped one into his lover as he kissed him. He knew all the right places and how to avoid paining Varhen when he added a finger and Varhen was a shaking mess in just a few minutes which meant he was more than ready. Zevran suddenly had an idea, a very erotic one.

"Get on your knees facing the door and hold onto the posts." Zevran saw and felt the confusion but the Warden obeyed looking over his shoulder slightly nervous as he showed his back to his lover. Zevran smirked seeing Varhen like this was erotic and Varhen for a moment saw what Zevran was planning and flushed panting hard not realizing what he'd really seen.

"Spread your legs a little further, and wait for a moment." Zevran moved quickly recovering a small vial of oil he'd bought at the market earlier. Varhen followed the command although from the twitch in his tail and wings he was nervous. Zevran reappeared against his back quickly stroking the wings and putting to right some of the feathers, the sigh of relief he received showed the ruffled state was more of a pain then it seemed.

"Please Zev!" Varhen whimpered the feeling of his mate so close yet so far was driving him crazy. Zevran felt that desperation and felt a small sense of pride peek up again, Varhen only got like this for him. Varhen looked over his shoulder ready to plead when Zevran kissed him and gave him what he wanted.

Varhen gasped and Zevran used the reaction to deepen the kiss. He stilled after the initial thrust into his lover and waited trying to make sure he didn't hurt the younger elf. Varhen groaned but tried relaxing. The position caused the pain to be a little higher than usual, but he kept as relaxed as he could knowing what was soon to come.

"M-move… It's f-fine." Varhen groans as his hands tighten around the bed posts as he tried to hide the pain from his lover. Zevran could feel it but did as Varhen asked and twitched his hips forward and Varhen gasped out in slight pain but said nothing allowing Zevran to continue at the slow pace until he'd grown accustom to the position and the pain began to fade into the pleasure. When Zevran finally found Varhen's sweet spot in the new position he smirked at Varhen's reaction.

When Varhen felt his sweet spot get pinned he let out a cry and his head flew back as his eyes slipped closed and wings flared out. Zevran felt the burst of ecstasy and moaned his pace almost stuttering as he wrapped one arm around his lover's waist stroking the weeping cock in time with his hard thrusts into the willing body before him. Varhen tried to keep up but it seemed like he just couldn't and eventually gave in and held onto the posts for dear life as Zevran pounded into him.

Varhen felt that coil and tried to form words but the only words he could say was Zevran's name, 'Harder' and 'Faster' as well as 'Please!' Zevran knew both he and Varhen were reaching their limits so he pulled back deciding he wanted to see how much Varhen was willing to do sexually. Varhen stayed put but cast a clouded gaze over his shoulder confusion in his silver eyes that were burning bright with his pleasure and lust.

"Follow me…" Zevran purred moving so he was he was on his knees in the center of the bed. He sat back on his heels staying knelt and loving the way Varhen turned no hesitation to follow the order. Having this control over the one who controlled him was the most erotic thing. Once before his lover Varhen stopped; uncertain of what Zevran wanted him to do. Zevran chuckled and the image of Varhen straddling him in this position entered his mind and a low hum left him.

"Straddle me so we can finish what we started." Zevran purrs to a now blushing Varhen who blinks in shock but nods and does as told. When he feels Zevran's cock brush against his slightly abused entrance he lets out a quite but begging whimper and Zevran smirks. Varhen looks down panting softly wanting but not sure if he could take, needing but unsure if Zevran was willing to give.

"Varhen take some of your own pleasure Maker knows I want you to." Zevran chuckles at the surprised look that flashed across Varhen's face and their emotional bond. He smirks again and Varhen flushes as he shifts his position Zevran barely prodded his entrance and yet both moaned. Varhen placed his hands on Zevran's shoulder's to steady himself as he slowly lowered himself onto his lover's cock. When he'd been filled completely he stopped panting and shivering at how strange but pleasurable the position was.

"Zev…" Varhen groaned eyes closed for fear he might start crying because of how much pleasure was wracking his body. Zevran just moved so he was kissing the Chimera and felt pride in the fact the other could hardly think straight, and the only thing he could feel from the other was pleasure, lust, and love that still sat strangely with him.

Varhen felt the unease and quickly erased it with something he knew Zevran was more comfortable with. Moving his hips he gasped at the feeling but continued to lift himself up then slip back down he felt Zevran's hands on his hips helping guide his slightly shaky movements. Soon both came, Varhen whimpering Zevran's name, and Zevran biting into Varhen's shoulder getting the other to cry out his name again but louder.

The two curled up on the bed, Zevran had a soft content smirk and Varhen had passed out from the exertion of their activities on his weak body. He just slept curled next to Zevran until dusk when he stirred again. Although his eyes said he needed more sleep he insisted on going out to the platforms and strengthening his wings while he could, saying they never knew if they might be of use. Zevran reluctantly agreed and allowed the younger elf to get out of bed and pull on his leggings then greaves and matching boots as well as his shirt and cloak.

When they walked out they first swung by the dining hall at Zevran's insistence Varhen needed to eat to get back energy after their recent activities. Varhen blushed but admitted food would be a good idea after his stomach rumbled as the aroma of cooked meat wafted down the hall. They met Alistair on their way down and the ex-Templar was relieved to see Varhen walking. Alistair began talking about a group of the mercenaries that had attacked them and the Guard Captain, they had come because the first group of mercenaries they'd frightened off.

When they got to the main hall Varhen momentarily wanted to run and hide everyone's eyes were on him and Zevran. Alistair guided them to a table off to the side where the guards that were off duty normally ate but the men didn't mind, nor did they stare, most had grown accustomed to Alistair's presence and didn't mind him bringing two others over. Eamon however, let out a sigh and Varhen watched Alistair roll his eyes at the Arl. Varhen was slightly shocked.

"So our little uncrowned King is back… How's it been going with your efforts?" A guard sitting by Varhen asks looking past the fidgeting elf to the more relaxed Alistair. Alistair scowled hating the nick name as Zevran sat down between Varhen and the guard placing a plate in front of Alistair, Varhen and himself.

"Truthfully? The Nobles are either too stupid or too scared to turn away from Loghain, even if they realize he really is a traitor, however we do have a good few of the higher Nobles on our side, but I do not expect the Landsmeet to end well." Alistair mumbles angrily glaring at his food Varhen lets out a soft bird like coo blushing as he placed a hand on the man's shoulder, trying to convey he wasn't alone. Alistair grinned at the blush and covered the pale hand with his own giving it a gentle squeeze.

"So you're the Dalish Warden?" A younger guard asks looking incredibly curious, Varhen looked at him wearily but nodded. Zevran just ate, seemingly ignoring what was going on. Varhen could tell the other was on high alert and seeing the fact his lover was not only faking his relaxed pose the assassin was looking around as if the guards could pose a threat.

"I am Dalish, yes, as well as a Warden. However last time I heard there were Dalish Wardens in the past." Varhen states looking at the guard with an unwavering stare that showed how much pride he had for being what he was; which was to say Dalish. The man seemed interested and began asking Varhen questions about his people and how they really acted. Varhen answered them all not shy in stating they often avoided humans and the tales of them robbing and pillaging was almost total fantasy, they disliked humans and humans disliked them it was simple, the elves avoided human contact as much as they could.

"What about your weddings?" Another guard asks Varhen had forgotten there were others and had silently thanked the creators that the guard who had been asking him had actually been vary respectful and listened intently. This new guard had startled Varhen and looking toward the man Varhen became uneasy.

"That is a question that may offend you. After all our gods are very different from your one." Varhen states looking uncertain if he should answer the man shrugs looking at Varhen intently. Thinking back Varhen remembers the wedding they had witnessed with the Clan they had helped. A smile graced his lips as he decided to explain it.

"It is a festive event, the normal calm order is deserted to a certain point. All the Clan no matter age or role gathers to watch the Keeper bond the two to be wed together. There's a dance to thank the Creators and music that can lift even the deepest of sorrows for a short while." Varhen was now staring off into void space a soft smile on his lips as he remembered the wedding, it had lifted his heart and he'd danced for the first time in what felt like years, he had managed to get Leliana to join and the two had stayed close getting some strange looks but neither cared, they were friends.

When asked if they were together both laughed and said no, they were just close friends, Varhen explained he was only so near because he wanted to help her learn. The clan had accepted that but still found Varhen and Leliana strange. Soon the dance had ended and the less ceremonial music began. This had finally allowed him to drag Alistair out and show him a easier dance that the ex-Templar surprisingly could do, Varhen had grinned and laughed in joy.

Zevran had despite the fact the clan might frown on it slid up behind Varhen and wrapped his arms around the pale elf whispering a complement before slipping back. Varhen had blushed but continued to dance, often letting his gaze flicker over to Zevran who was making no attempt to hide the fact he was watching Varhen.

When everything had wound down Zathrian had managed to corner Varhen and ask about the way he acted toward the tanned Antivan elf. Varhen had flushed and hadn't known what to say his silver tongue deserting him as suddenly his gut twisted as he realized how different he was from when the insane quest had started. Swallowing nervously and with slight grief Varhen told Zathrian that Zevran and he were close and that was all. At the time he hadn't been lovers with the man, only very close friends.

A hand on his shoulder startled him from his path through memory lane and he turned his head blinking into gold eyes. Zevran let his hand fall once the slight ache he'd felt from Varhen faded to embarrassment. Varhen noticed many of the older guards were smiling a look of understanding in their eyes and some of the younger men even gave him small reassuring smiles but a few including the one to ask about the Dalish ways concerning weddings looked slightly distrustful if not disgusted.

"So it doesn't matter who the two are?" The first guard asks looking curious and intrigued. Varhen tilted his head to the side in thought, for a moment he was uncertain but then it came to him and he looked back at the man shaking his head.

"No, it does not matter. So long as it is love the Dalish do not care and celebrate it. Love is a fragile and rare thing that should never be destroyed because it might be frowned on by some." Varhen mused but suddenly came out of his reverie partially due to Zevran's emotional unrest and partially the guards who had looked distrustful.

"So your saying they'd marry two men together?" One sneered. Varhen felt anger well up and snapped a cold glare toward them. The hidden insult enraging him.

"As I said we are different than you and you should have thought before asking. I will never lie about that in which I take pride. Nor will I hide something which is a part of me." With that Varhen was up and walking out of the room rage washing through him in waves. He faintly heard both Zevran and Alistair threaten the guard before getting up and following after him.

Varhen was hissing all sorts of insults in Dalish as he stormed through the halls his wings fluffed up and twitching in aggravation. The guards he passed had never seen him so wound up and watched in confusion as the normally calm wall flower of an elf strode by anger clear in his unusual demeanor. As soon as he was outside he launched into the air wings panging in slight protest since he was weakened from the poison as well as not having anything to eat besides a small breakfast the day before. Varhen didn't care he wanted to feel the rage leave; it was unsettling and made him sick to the stomach in its intensity.

"Varhen!" Varhen flipped mid air too see who had called his name only to see Zevran and Alistair in the courtyard. He didn't stop beating his wings making him rise through the air he didn't want to talk about this. It had hurt; the fact that what he cared about who he cared about and what they did was wrong when it wasn't; it couldn't be.

He felt panic well up from his bond with Zevran and realized he was level with the tallest tower on Eamon's estate and his wings were going numb. Not only that but it was still early dusk. Drawing in a quick breath even though his lungs burned he tucked his wings closer and spiraled down before opening them fully and gently tapping down to the ground. His wings went limp behind him and drug on the ground and his shoulders ached and his lungs burned.

"Yes?" He called back voice sounding horse coming from his raw throat. Zevran looked at him with a strange combination of confusion and uncertainty. Alistair looked just plain worried.

"Varhen you nearly killed yourself." It was stated bluntly and coming from Zevran the comment got Varhen to flinch. He thought why he'd done it; it was the anger. It had welled up for the strangest reason, and all he'd been trying to do was get it to go away. Varhen looked away taking deep breaths and shrugged uncertain for why.

"I… The rage…" Varhen shuddered horrified how willing he had been to cut the man's throat and how much anger had fed the fantasy. It made him sick. Normally he would have shrugged off the hostility having grown used to it over the years.

"I didn't notice how tired my wings were I was too caught up in erasing the anger. I… It scared me. Normally I would have shrugged it off instead I had the strongest urge to attack him and that's just not right if he think it wrong I have no right to lash out at him for it. I didn't mean to nearly do such a thing… I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me, and I thank you both for saving me." Varhen was shaking his head confused about the strong emotion and his body shook not only with strain but fear of this dark side that had suddenly surfaced. He had heard similar remarks and jabs but it had never bothered him this much. Zevran was just as confused as he was and Alistair shrugged. Varhen wanted to curl up in ball and hide.

"Come back inside. We'll eat in our room, you need to take it easy." Zevran soothed and guided Varhen who reluctantly pulled up his wings and followed. Alistair momentarily split from them to get their food before joining them. The three had a pleasant discussion mostly concerning childhood memories, Zevran had little to say although he did talk a little of the fond memories of the apartment and the scent of leather, and what he did when not training or assassinating. Until a few of the others came in. Then a party of sorts started to celebrate Varhen surviving when he should have died, they had no idea he had just been saved by Zevran and Alistair in several ways. Oghren of course had brought the booze, and soon everyone was stumbling to their respective rooms.

Except Varhen, Zevran and Alistair who were talking again. Well Alistair was listening to Zevran as he detailed exactly what he was going to do to Varhen. Varhen grinned and straddled Zevran's lap too drunk to care at that point and kissed Zevran eager to submit and please. Zevran wasn't as drunk as Varhen or Alistair and was relatively aware of what he was doing and groped Varhen, who groaned and arched into the touch, just to see Alistair's response which was surprising. Alistair was watching with slightly hazed eyes, but Zevran could tell it wasn't just the alcohol doing this.

"Varhen, I think you have an admire." Zevran purrs and Varhen looks over and smiles showing the slight fangs and leaned back a little ways to examine Alistair in his noble pants, fine leather boots and cotton noble doublet. Varhen slipped over to Alistair and sat in the blushing man's lap.

"I do not mind, Alistair, if you do more than just look." Varhen purrs getting the blush to darken and Alistair to nervously shift position only to brush against Varhen's ass getting a soft mewl of want from Varhen and a quite groan from Alistair. Varhen was shivering already feeling the large size of his friend and wanting to feel him pounding into him.

"Varhen." Alistair sighs and bucked up again as he wrapped his arms around the pale elf's waist getting a soft moan from them both. Varhen quickly turned and kissed Alistair coaxing the inexperienced tongue to battle with his own. Zevran watched with growing arousal as the two of these men made out in front of him. Varhen pulled back and ground them together.

"Please Alistair?" Varhen asks blushing and purring as Alistair buried his face in his shoulder while rubbing and groaning at the fiction. Alistair hummed in answer as if asking about what. Varhen shivered and squirmed trying to get the point across with a roll of his eyes. Zevran was surprised Varhen was being like this, his Chimera side shouldn't be letting him flirt like this, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't turning him on.

"Come on Varhen the poor boy has never done something like this." Zevran purrs smirking when both men look at him dazed eyes silently appraising his form. Varhen let a hand slip down to rub Alistair through his pants a playful smile that was so similar to Zevran's own little leer adorning his lips. Zevran stood and leaned down kissing Alistair and swallowing the low moan Varhen had wrung from him. Varhen slipped down rubbing at Zevran's groin with one hand Alistair's with the other, getting two muffled moans. A sly smirk formed on Varhen's lips, he was slightly drunk but not as drunk as Zevran thought him to be.

"Zevran can we keep him?" Varhen asks innocently while rubbing the two men. Zevran chuckles after pulling away and looks at Alistair who looks about at his wits end from pleasure. Varhen rubs both men with a slightly firmer touch earning two more moans and a mutter about the Maker from Alistair.

"I wouldn't mind having him, or him having me, but shouldn't you ask him?" Zevran hums looking down at his slightly pouting lover who suddenly grins. Zevran shivered at the pure predatory look that flashed in Varhen's eyes, he'd have to remember to get Varhen drunk more often.

"Alistair?" Varhen asks, the tanned Ex-Templer didn't hesitate; he nodded and Varhen grinned as he moved so he was between Alistair's slightly parted knees. He worked on the laces as Alistair was distracted by a talented Antivan's mouth. Varhen moved down the pants slipping off the boots in the process, Zevran's wandering hands assisting him in keeping Alistair too distracted to notice. Varhen appraised Alistair, even with his shirt on the man looked delectable.

Varhen leaned forward and licked from base to tip on Alistair's impressive length. He purred as Alistair whimpered and bucked letting out a soft groan. Varhen places his hands on Alistair's hips to try and keep his friend's hips from bucking up as he tormented him with teasing licks. Until Alistair was shaking and breathing hard between heated kisses.

"Varhen, please!" Alistair moaned. Varhen shivered and couldn't keep himself in check anymore, so he gave his friend what he wanted. He took in just the head swirling his tongue around the tip before going down further getting a strange but erotic noise from Alistair that was somewhere between a growl and a whimper. Zevran's hands were far from idle and stripped Alistair of his shirt before he pulled back to watch the man pant and writhe just because of Varhen's mouth. He momentarily pondered if he should pull Varhen back since the warrior looked near his breaking point, or if he should let the night go.

"I… Varhen, I'm cl-close." Alistair panted, Zevran was surprised Alistair had managed talking at all but he noticed Varhen had slowed pace to allow the Chantry boy to breathe. With a quiet and lewd 'pop' Varhen pulled back purring softly as he licked his lips. Alistair was delicious!

"Then cum." Varhen states before going back to what he'd started. Zevran was startled and quickly stored away the information that Varhen was far bolder when drunk. Alistair was shaking and had one hand was curled in void black hair and his other was tugging at his own strawberry blond spikes trying to prolong the pleasure. With a short cry Alistair came hard and Varhen eagerly swallowed what he was given purring at the heady taste. Alistair slumped in his chair panting to gain breath, as Varhen rounded on Zevran quickly standing and kissing the other elf who groaned at Alistair's lingering taste.

"Take him." Varhen purred loving the shocked lust in Zevran's gold hues. Varhen sat at the edge of the bed and watched his lover and friend as he purred. Zevran looked at the alert Alistair who looked slightly nervous if not skittish. Varhen's eyes flashed and he stood a feral grin on his lips. Why had he not thought of this sooner?

"I think we're both overdressed, Zevran." He purrs the Antivan casts a look over the naked ex-templar then Varhen and knew the words were true. He moved so both were well in view in front of Alistair and kissed his devilish lover and divested him of the robe.

The black wings arched out from under the confines of the covering once the robe was gone, reminding the Chantry virgin of their presence. Varhen untied Zevran's shirt then slid it off his shoulders purring as he ran his hands over the other's chest. Zevran peeled the shirt off Varhen careful of the feathered appendages as he removed the silk. Varhen pressed them together to feel the tan skin.

Zevran smirked at the behavior Varhen was displaying; it was a refreshing change from the normally shy hesitant elf he'd grown used to. While Varhen worked on his pants Zevran toed off his boots knowing Varhen had already taken his own off, and soon they were naked Varhen was kissing him again. Varhen pulled away and gave Alistair who was surprisingly still there a once over.

"Come on Alistair, we won't bite… Unless you want us to." Varhen purred, getting the warrior to blush scarlet. Surprisingly Alistair came to them, like a curious cat and Varhen grinned as if his wildest dream had become reality. He leaned over and kissed Alistair one hand leaving it's petting of Zevran's body so it could play with the warrior's. Zevran moved them closer to the bed and was shocked when Varhen let Alistair pin him down. Alistair had been careful of the wings and tail but still hesitated and cast the feathered appendages a worried look as if scared of hurting them.

"It's fine Alistair, but if you are that worried can we switch positions?" Alistair gave the wings another worried glance and nodded letting his guard down as he could move back but Varhen flipped them over with a practiced move, Alistair was slightly shocked. Zevran chuckled and watched, already the vial of oil was in his hand, the last of the Antivan oil to be precise, but tonight was indeed a special occasion.

"Var-" Alistair was cut off by the very person he had straddling his hips. Varhen trailed kisses down the warrior's chest but stopped looking up as if asking permission from Zevran who had a wicked smirk on his lips at the sight of the twitching Alistair.

"Let me prepare you love, then you can ride our lovely chantry boy." Zevran smirked as Varhen shivered and Alistair groaned as Varhen crawled over to Zevran. They kissed as he stretched him, careful and sweet getting the other close before stopping and looking at Alistair who's eyes had darkened to the color of Lake Calinhad at night. Zevran felt a shiver run through him at the pure desire in those dark blue eyes. Varhen was a shivering mess by that point and wanted release badly. Zevran poured some oil onto Varhen's palm and held the smaller man steady as he kissed him again.

"Make sure you aren't the only one ready." Zevran chuckles at the blush that darkened on both of the men in bed with him. Varhen stroked Alistair with the oil slicking his cock and he purred at the way the warrior twitched and bucked letting out the most delicious sounds. Finally neither could take it anymore and Varhen positioned himself above Alistair, slowly sinking down the turgid length.

"Oh by the Creators…" Varhen groaned once completely lowered shivering at the feeling of being so full, past his experience. Alistair was trying to reign himself in so he didn't hurt his friend and surprisingly succeeded, then Varhen was suddenly moving. The warrior wasn't certain if he'd last long with this exquisite feeling. Zevran watched and idly stroked himself to the slow pace Varhen had set that was driving the ex-Templar crazy. Both were so close, but something was missing Varhen rolled his hips as he looked at Zevran a plead in his silver eyes.

"Cum for me." Zevran purrs seductively, and both do whimpering each other's names as well as Zevran's. Zevran chuckled as Alistair sat up and kissed Varhen, Varhen kissed back eagerly he was still energetic and wanting more. Varhen pulled away wanting to see what would happen next. Zevran chuckled as he leaned over and kissed the no longer so pure Chantry boy. His newly slicked finger trailing down to tease the untried muscles that were the only barrier separating him from Alistair's tight body.

Alistair tensed but Varhen moved back and started petting his body calming him into a relaxed state as finally Zevran pressed one finger passed but hesitated because the way the blond twitched. He littered kisses over the strong jaw and neck as he stretched the virgin careful and slow, the same treatment he'd given Varhen when he'd first taken him. He knew it hurt when you were first taken, sure the pain faded but it was nice to avoid what you could.

"Relax Alistair. I know it's uncomfortable at first but it gets better." Varhen purrs reassuringly, even Zevran has trouble not being soothed by the words. Varhen had a small content smile on his lips but his eyes burned with want for more and Zevran shivered as he met that gaze, is this what Varhen felt like under his? Varhen leaned over and kissed him as his hand trailed lower over Alistair's chest. Zevran found Alistair's sweet spot as his tongue danced with Varhen's.

"Oh Maker!" Alistair moaned shivering as he felt a burst of pleasure from his center and another jolt from Varhen's hand stroking him. Zevran and Varhen parted with matching smirks. Varhen went back to praising Alistair's body with his mouth and hands, while Zevran finished stretching the blushing virgin.

"Oh, I knew I was divine, but the Maker? I think not." Zevran chuckles as he gets the blond under him to jerk with pleasure. Varhen chuckles at Zevran's comment before kissing Alistair wanting to distract him as Zevran moved so he was knelling between the virgin's parted legs. Alistair kept relaxed, even when he felt the brush warning him of what was to come, besides him. Varhen did his job well. Zevran pressed forward stopping so he didn't hurt Alistair more than necessary, and because brasca, the boy was _tight!_

"Alistair, relax the pain fades." Varhen murmured as he littered butterfly kisses over the man's jaw and neck. Alistair slowly relaxed, but his eyes showed the pain. Zevran felt bad and so rubbed the Chantry boy's cock as he slid forward a little more. The heat and tightness was becoming unbearable, it was exquisite torture! Varhen shivered as he watched and purred as Alistair let out a breathy gasp when Zevran found his prostate, again.

Varhen leaned back and watched a soft purr filling his chest as Alistair submitted to Zevran, the picture was like an expensive exotic treat you only had one taste of then forevermore craved it. Varhen wanted to stroke himself to the picture but refrained, his tail curling and swishing with pleasure, his ears were perked forward to catch the sounds coming from the two men before him, and his wings were twitching with excitement. Varhen wanted to feel Alistair again, but he also wanted Zevran, he looked at both and shivered hearing Alistair cry out again, Zevran lasted a little longer before groaning in reply.

"Varhen you look like you can't decide which one of us you want." Alistair chuckled breathlessly at a small blush that appeared on the pale face. Zevran was delighted by the virgin like response, not having seen it happen to the normal extent until now. Varhen had been too busy tormenting Alistair to blush like he normally did. Varhen crawled forward and kissed Alistair, then Zevran, before pulling back.

"I wish I could ask for both. It's like chocolate, sometimes caramel makes it so much sweeter." Varhen blushed but felt delighted when Zevran smiled and a bit of satisfaction and want ran through the bond, and Varhen recognized the affection and love, even if the assassin was uncomfortable with it, he still felt it. Varhen wanted to fly circles in joy, but decided staying here was a better choice.

"Oh, innuendo from the one who blushes like a virgin even if I've already done so many dirty things to his body." Varhen blushed brighter and leaned closer kissing his Antivan again and letting one hand trail lower to stroke the limp cock back to life. Alistair got hard just by watching the two.

"So you're the cream for after the treats been devoured hmm?" Zevran purrs as he runs his fingertips over the lines of the Vallisan trailing south on his lover's chest. Varhen shivered as Zevran stroked his painfully hard cock. Zevran was impressed Varhen had restrained himself so long, and felt an answering emotion of embarrassments.

"I held back because I didn't have permission." Varhen answers the unvoiced question, and feels a bit of surprise mixed with several other emotions, sometimes the bond was difficult to read, and right now it was weak which made it worse. Varhen bit his lip nervous of what Zevran thought of the strange urge he'd had. Zevran suddenly had Varhen pinned, he'd been careful of the tail and the wings, and now hovered over the panting Dalish a smirk on the sinful lips.

"I think such restrain deserves a treat." Zevran purrs grinding their hips together getting a helpless moan and Varhen squirmed trying to get his lover to fuck him. Zevran let his hand trail down and prepare the still slightly lose muscle so he could take his panting lover again. Varhen suddenly flipped them over, he was ready and Zevran was teasing. The Antivan smirked and trust into the willing body getting a soft noise of pleasure. Zevran felt the need curling at the base of his spine so he went harder on both of them and soon they were cumming calling out each other's names.

Alistair was rock hard again and wanting to do something but he didn't know what. Zevran looked over after he had finished kissing Varhen breathless. Varhen leaned up to look at Alistair as well. He wanted to see Zevran pinned down, the thought was arousing, so how would it compare to real life?

"Alistair you should try to pin Zevran down and take him." Varhen tests and Alistair's eyes flash in interest as his face flushed bright pink. Varhen knew why instantly. He and Zevran separated and Zevran went about teaching the art of how to properly care for one's submitting lover to Alistair who was blushing scarlet the entire time as he prepared Zevran and listened to the soft instructions. Varhen felt something in him suddenly rush forward like a cord of warmth that extended itself to Alistair. At first it felt like his breath had been sucked from his chest, because he suddenly felt two other emotion sets besides his own. He whimpered from a mix of shock and the sudden unexpected rush of pleasure.

Varhen watched but it was growing increasingly difficult to not touch; the sight of Zevran pinned under Alistair getting stretched and moaning in delight with whispered praises caused him untold torment. Varhen wasn't sure what had happened all he knew was that the bond was changed and it was driving him insane with the feeling of pleasure. The bound may transfer the feeling but it did nothing to bring him closer to climax, only teasing little bits that kept him enticed. He watched as Zevran finally coached Alistair to take him completely. Varhen bit his lip to contrast the aching need to pleasure himself and watched as Zevran arched under their ex-Templer and moaned as the inexperience was more than made up for with Alistair's eagerness to please.

"Please!" Varhen whimpers and shivers as Zevran and Alistair come down from their new high looking at him with sudden desire. Zevran and Alistair both looked at Varhen's desperate state and flashed matching grins as they pinned Varhen between them. Varhen was a mess already, with Alistair kissing his neck and what skin he could while Zevran prepared him all over again he was an absolute puddle.

"P-please, can… t-ah… L-last." Varhen pants shivering and jerking in surprise as Alistair strokes him but realizes why when he feels the faint burn of Zevran entering him. Varhen keeps his nails from scraping Alistair's skin as he runs fingers up over the muscled chest that was sculpted better than any man Alistair's age could hope so he could grip the broad shoulders. Zevran looked over to lock gazes with Alistair and nods. Alistair looks worried as he adds more oil and stretches Varhen further with one then two then three fingers.

"Ah... Oh, just like that Alistair." Varhen moans out letting his head fall onto Alistair's shoulder as Alistair stretched him further and brushed that bundle of nerves. Zevran buried his face in the back of Varhen's neck as he moaned because the friction of those fingers working on Varhen. Varhen was close and gently pulled Alistair's hand away.

"If you continue doing that I will not last. Take me, I swear I am ready." Varhen's voice was pleading and Alistair couldn't deny he wanted to feel his friend around him in the most intimate way again. He shared a look with Zevran and received a nod. Zevran distracted Varhen with a slightly awkward slanted kiss as he wrapped a hand around his lover's cock stroking it slowly as a way to distract from the pain. Varhen winced but kept relaxed as best he could as Alistair joined Zevran in him, he was certain he'd be too sore to walk tomorrow.

Several whimpers in a mix of common and elven tongue left Varhen's mouth and Zevran felt the pain cause Varhen to wilt slightly. He began kissing what skin his lips could reach and running his free hand over feathers and the swishing tail, stroking his 'busy' hand up and down slowly to counter pain with pleasure. Varhen relaxed further and moaned softly as Alistair's hands ran over his chest rubbing the peeked nipples then the warriors mouth was suddenly on his swallowing the soft noises he was letting out.

"Ngh, just fuck me! I c-cannot, oh Creators! S… Stannnnd this mu-much longer." Varhen pants in between moans gasping at the different pleasures crashing though him. His claws scraped lightly over Alistair's shoulders as the warrior gave an experimental thrust out then back in getting the pale elf to moan and shiver. He was as ready as he could be, and Zevran had grown to read the young man well enough to know that Varhen wanted them to move; now. He and Alistair alternated in burying themselves in Varhen's tight heat loving the moans they were pulling from his bruised lips.

They continued like that until they were spent, Varhen was completely gone, too tired and spent to go for anything more. He shared lazy kisses with both men before curling into Zevran and slipping into the realm of dreams. Alistair and Zevran shared a languid kiss before Zevran laid back stroking Varhen's ears and hair as Alistair curled around Varhen from behind and fell to sleep as well. Zevran carefully pulled up the covers. Shade was hiding under the bed with his paws over his ears.

A/N: Oh wow… I hope the smut made up for my absence…. I just have such a dirty mind! Well I guess Alistair's been tainted… I have a wonder…? Should he become a permanent fixture? I think so. Well review or whatever you do. I'll just be here toiling away…. *scoffs* Like writing this is something I hate doing.


	22. The Morning After

A/N: Well last chapter was little more than filler and smut so I hope to add more to the actual story here! Cue the awkward morning after! Mwahaha! I'm so cruel aren't I? Anyway I hope you read and enjoy! I need to start putting more of Varhen's Mabari Shade in here I feel like I've been neglecting the poor boy.

Disclaimer: I don't think I own Dragon Age, in fact I'm pretty sure I don't.

Warnings: Pretty much anything that's already happened in the story, if it popped up before it'll eventually pop up again.

Last Chapter:

"_Shade was hiding under the bed with his paws over his ears."_

Chapter Twenty Two: The Morning After

Varhen was the first to wake up, feeling a full body ache run through him from the stressful flight, but then a fuzzy memory of later that day flashed behind his closed eye lids. Alistair's blushing face, twisted in bliss as he was teased to completion. Varhen's eyes snapped open and he felt a fear in his chest as he started thinking about what this might do to his friendship with the warrior. He'd taken advantage of his drunken friend; he'd been sober enough to realize he was doing something stupid. Alistair had been wasted.

"Oh Maker my head." Alistair mutters as he pressed his forehead into warm feathers… Wait feathers? Was Morrigan in bed with him? Then images flashed in his mind, Varhen looking up at him as he sucked him off, Varhen above him head tossed back in ecstasy, then Zevran under him writhing in bliss. What the hell had he done?! He tensed and his eyes snapped open. Varhen who was already tense, tensed further as he felt Alistair wake further he expected a verbal beating instead, Alistair pulled away trying not to wake him.

Varhen grew confused he'd used Alistair and yet the other was trying to let him sleep? Despite his aching muscles he rolled over so he was now on his other side, he'd been careful of both his wings and not waking Zevran. Alistair was pulling on his pants and Varhen felt a faint trace of longing and confusion from the man. He felt sudden awe that he could have a bond like the one he had with Zevran with Alistair but pushed that away as he worried for Alistair.

"Alistair…?" Varhen is uncertain of what he should do now that he has the man's attention. Alistair had frozen and stopped his fingers midway through tying the laces to his pants as his eyes met Varhen's. Varhen felt Alistair's fear and felt his own answer. He had to word this right or he risked completely losing his friend. Anxiety replaced his fear and that finally woke Zevran who looked toward Varhen worry on his face until he saw both Alistair and Varhen were both struggling over this new development. He remained silent as neither noticed he'd awoken.

"I… I am truly sorry…" Varhen stumbled over his words it was obvious he was at a loss for what to say. Alistair looked confused before shaking his head his lips forming that adorable confused frown of his. Varhen sat up more fully the covers pooling at his waist, exposing the red kiss marks from the night before. Alistair's face went pink but he seemed to relax slightly.

"Varhen, I should be the one saying sorry." Alistair states, Varhen cocks his head to the side in confusion. Zevran watches the events unfold with a soft sense of dread; if this went down wrong he would have wound up hurting Varhen badly.

"How drunk were you? Alistair I pressured you into sex with not only me but Zevran as well. I… I do not know what to say… I would be absolutely enraged in your place, I should not have… Yet I did. I do not want to lose you as a friend and brother." Varhen's ramble had Alistair smiling he stood straight, his goofy happy smile in place as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"You won't. I…" Alistair blushed as he saw Zevran was awake. He looked down and worried on his lower lip as he shuffled his feet. "I wasn't as drunk as I'd been acting and had actually been nursing that glass of whiskey it was only half down when we… well I guess I kind of jumped into it. I was trying to slip away because I had felt you'd be angry at me. I guess I was wrong?" Alistair looks hopeful and Zevran looks at Varhen waiting for the youngest of them to reply. Varhen blushes and smiles warmly gesturing the warrior to come back to bed.

Alistair let his arms fall to his sides in shock. Varhen had said everything with his silent smile. He moved back to the bed and Varhen gestured for him to come closer. Alistair slipped a knee onto the bed and leaned down, only to be pulled into a kiss. He let himself get pulled back into bed, blushing as he clumsily kissed back as well as he could, he had not expected Varhen to still want him but he didn't care as that wicked tongue played with his.

Zevran sighed in relief and looked at the two, Varhen looked like an angel with his wings arced out only slightly making him look content and almost like he'd fly off with Alistair. But Zevran knew Varhen was far from innocent, though in bed he sounded like it. His voice was nice on the ears, a siren then, ready to lead 'astray' an innocent like Alistair. A soft noise though from Varhen let Zevran know the two were quite willing to go further.

"Am I to be left out? After all last night we did agree to keep Alistair if he wanted to stay." Zevran drawls as he runs his fingertips down Varhen's spine. The pale elf shivers and pulls away from the blond warrior to cast a clouded gaze his elder lover's way. Zevran reads the silent question with ease and answers with a wicked smirk and a hand snaking around his lover's waist to capture the pale chin and tip Varhen's head back for a searing kiss.

"I would never consider it." Varhen purrs letting a hand come up to tread through Zevran's lose hair. He never asked Zevran to let it down but maybe if he did… He turned and leaned forward kissing Zevran and trying not to squirm with pleasure when he felt Alistair put to right a few sleep ruffled feathers. Varhen looked behind him and smiled.

"You know Alistair, my wings are incredibly sensitive." Varhen states this with a soft blush. Alistair just gives a slight shrug as he blushed. He felt nervous for a strange reason, yet he was at ease. Varhen felt the confusion and realized neither he nor Zevran had shared they were able to read each other's emotions. He looked at Zevran and the Antivan nodded feeling Alistair's confusion as well.

"Alistair… The reason you're feeling confused…" Varhen stopped and half turned hiding the wince of discomfort as his butt protested from last night. "Is because Zevran and I we have a bond; remember the Alienage's Elder called it a soul bond. I somehow extended it to you last night… Maybe I should read that book." Varhen was blushing as Zevran grinned and pet the pale body before him, deciding to fill in a few blanks.

"We can sense each other's emotions, and feel to an extent the physical sensations the other is. That is how our dear leader knew you were confused." Zevran let a hand slink down the pale chest before running back up, tracing the pale silvery lines of the Dalish elf's Vallisan. Alistair is surprised by this; that explained why the Antivan had looked so lost and confused when Varhen had been poisoned, their bond had been severed.

"I felt unease and yet I'd been content… Was that Varhen or you?" Alistair asks, a hand running down to pet the base of a tail, Varhen made a soft noise resting his forehead against Zevran's chest hands gliding up tan skin to rest on the strong shoulders. Alistair felt a soft thrill of pleasure, and to his surprise along with it came a distinct feel, it was as if he was being caressed by a gentle breeze, a feeling of warmth like being wrapped in a fur blanket, and the faintest scent of a forest in summer.

"That was new." Varhen breaths having felt awe from Alistair, along with it came a sense of fortitude, and safety, as well as a feeling similar to taking a warm bath, the cocoon of warm water, with it came a trace of the scent of a river or lake. Then a slight hesitation, borderline uncertainty and Varhen recognized this as coming from Zevran, but now a sense of warmth again, but distant as if you were sunbathing, and the sense of protection as well, but more the protection provided by concealing one's self in a cloak of shadow, and a faint scent of exotic spice and wild roses. Alistair looked startled by the feelings and momentarily stopped his movements of stroking the now still tail. Even Zevran had frozen as he felt these new things, it was indeed new, and for a moment he was scared of the new development, but it was eclipsed by his curiosity.

"Should we explore this further?" Zevran asks hands suddenly moving again; his hands stroked Varhen's sides down teasingly. Varhen snickers and decides to tease. After all he was incredibly sore from last night, as wonderful as it had been.

"After last night I am too sore to even want to walk so why not limit my _activity_ to the bed?" Varhen purrs out looking over his shoulder to see Alistair blush and duck his head. Varhen smiles and concentrates to make his tail flick up and over, brushing the man's groin. Alistair shivers and chuckles before looking curious.

"You haven't read that book yet? Maybe instead of putting that off we should get you to read it." Alistair states a truly worried look on his face as he leans over Varhen, chest touching the warm back. Varhen sighs as Zevran nods his agreement. He blushes as he looks toward the desk the book laid on.

"I was not joking when I said I was sore… It is much worse than normal." Varhen admits embarrassed as Zevran snickers and Alistair coughs uncomfortably. Varhen looks at him concerned, was Alistair really regretting what happened and feared involving himself further? Varhen shook the idea from himself. He turned and looked at Alistair laying his palm against the stubble decorating the strong jaw, hoping he was going about this correctly.

"Alistair, if you are uncomfortable that is understandable, but if you feel embarrassed over my discomfort do not be. It was wonderful, and I am sure you feel a similar ache, but remember the finale of the night? It was the best time I have had, unfortunately my body is not used to such… extremes." Varhen smiles at the blush he receives and Alistair kisses the pale elf enjoying the understanding that seemed to just flow off of the Dalish. It was as if the other Warden could read minds sometimes. Though now that wasn't far from the truth.

"If you are so inclined, let Alistair and I treat you, hmm? Relax and read while we plan out a treat for if you can manage such a difficult task." Zevran grins knowing where Varhen enjoyed reading, it was difficult for the other male to be restricted to such a confined space and being unable to move. Varhen sighed and fidgeted before relaxing and nodding sitting back to allow the two to do as they wished.

Zevran smiled, it was rare Varhen let go so easily, let someone else take charge, though he would let everyone speak their minds and was rather lax, Varhen submitting this much control over himself was rare and was normally reserved for when he was pinned down getting ravished. Alistair handed him the book in exchange for a gentle kiss and Zevran slipped away after a soft brush of lips. The two got dressed and left Varhen alone with the book.

"Alright then! Let's get things ready… My mind seems to think a warm bath would do our Chimera nicely, as well as some food and a massage. I'll get the bath underway; think you could get some fruits, bread and wine from the kitchen?" Zevran asks a mischievous light in his eyes as a sly smile plays on his lips. They had just shut the door and was being carful he could not be heard by the room's occupant. Alistair raises a brow but nods and disappears; thinking indeed something like that might relax Varhen.

Zevran smirks as he tracks down a servant asking a bath to be prepared in his rooms, which were actually across from Varhen's, he'd surprise his young lover, as well as Alistair, because he had a small trick up his sleeve. He snuck to the market down to the Orlisain girl with the oils. He smiled as charmingly as he was able as he approached. Varhen had been able to coax a tale out of her that had him weary of alarming her.

"My dear lady, I heard last I was here you had scented oils. Might you, by chance, have ones scented like roses, cinnamon and vanilla? I plan to treat my lover to a day of relaxation, they haven't had the time and it's going to be a surprise." Zevran's eyes gleamed when a smile crept onto the woman's face she tuned and gestured him closer to the stand holding her oils and flowers, he saw the roses and a new addition worked its way into his mind. He smiled as she plucked up a vial and it's pink tint and rose red label told him all he needed to know.

"These are Antivan rose and cinnamon oils, and if I assume correctly you are from there, yes? I find the roses there make the finest oils, I also have Orlisain vanilla oil. I can also tell you where to purchase fine chocolates, I also sell bags of petals if you are interested." She surprised him, but he eagerly listened as he purchased the oil, a large pouch of petals and of course fifteen deep red roses.

He could already see Varhen laid out on his bed; petals littering the rich sheets and over that pale skin, like drops of blood on snow. He planned on cutting off the stems of the roses and floating the rose heads on the bath. Alistair with that slightly tanned skin and his physique, would be a sight tied up with his hands bound behind him and a silk gag, but only if he agreed, sadly. He could see the blush running over the man now. Thankfully his bed had curtains around it so he could hide the ex-Templar from Varhen until after the bath.

He bought some chocolates then a deep blue silk handkerchief that would do for a gag, and then hurried back to his rooms. He set everything up, the servants had just been done setting up the bath he thanked them and set up the oils, and found a few scented soaps, one smelt of lavender and another vanilla, while the last smelt of roses. He had also bought a few candles scented like Andraste's Grace which he placed around the warm bath and lit them and made sure the firelight was low. Alistair popped up looking slightly flustered and bright pink as he set the tray of fruit and bread, and a bottle of wine down on the bed side table he shot a slightly annoyed look to Zevran.

"The servants swooned and asked me if it was Leliana I was trying to woo. I hope this plan of yours works." Alistair growls face alight in his furious blush. Zevran snickers and fiddles with the rope he had wondering if the young warrior would even consider the proposal. He has his back to the warrior and fears Varhen might sense his unease, so he turns.

"Alistair, do you trust me?" He asks, he sees the way Alistair tenses at the sight of the rope, the way his eyes sharpen with calculation, and the way his form tightened in apprehension as his hands clenched at his sides. Zevran also felt the interest. The warrior was open to it but also uncertain. Zevran knew if he were to do this for Varhen Alistair would have to cooperate willingly. He had no wish to upset either Warden.

"Do I have a choice?" Alistair asks trying to school his emotions to hide them from the one they sought to surprise. Zevran sighs and tosses the rope back onto the bag showing rather than saying that indeed the choice was his. Zevran wondered a moment, where yes Alistair was very comfortable around Varhen, if he'd relaxed about Zevran's presence. The rope had brought something akin to anxiety to Alistair.

"If you do not trust me to that extent I understand, if you don't trust me at all I also understand. After all it was less than a year ago I attempted and failed to kill you and our dear Chimera. Tis completely understandable." Zevran states waving a hand passively feeling slight disappointment and something similar to sadness at the thought this man did not trust him. Zevran felt Alistair respond with curiosity and suspicion and wanted to roll his eyes. But instead of being predictable Alistair shocked him with his words.

"You've been Varhen's lover for a few months right?" When Alistair received a nod he continued, "Then why do you seldom call him by name? It's strange how often you resort to pet names, like you fear using a real name, like uttering someone's name gives them some measure of power over you." Zevran's eyes widened in shock and he felt fear rear in him at the thought of completely losing himself to another, to completely be bound, no longer free. He also feared repeating the pain he'd felt with Rinna, the pain it had caused when she died.

He frowned as he thought on it; he'd panicked and fought and screamed to keep Varhen alive, he'd felt the same pain, but it ran considerably deeper. He'd already lost. This realization brought a dizzying effect with it and Zevran swayed on his feet. He was caught by Alistair, who had moved without Zevran noticing and caught the elf as finally the rogue's legs gave out and Zevran crumpled. The elf was uncertain what he felt, all his emotions were jumbled as the realization of his feelings for Varhen and what he'd done in the Fade clicked into place.

Sure he'd in small ways confessed affection to varying degrees to his lover, but flat out laying his heart bear was something that Zevran did not, could not do easily. He just got coned into opening his eyes by an ex-Templar that could hardly look at him without flushing, how strange his world had become. He loved? Yes, he loved Varhen deeply, in his heart, which wasn't black, cold and dead, he had known for a long time. He then thought of the warrior holding him up, did he extend those feelings to Alistair? The man certainly wasn't a onetime fling.

"By Andraste…" Zevran mutters resting his head against Alistair's chest as he realized how easily the warrior had won him as well, even if the man had been so suspicious, he'd not only given himself to Varhen, he'd given himself to Alistair as well. The fumbling Chantry virgin with such rash courage and an open heart was indeed a part of Zevran's heart. He wasn't certain about this but knew he could never pull away and feel whole, and out came his poetic side, a shame he had no time for it.

He needed to pull himself together to create a night of bliss for both his Wardens. Standing on his own he pulled back from the Warden. He met the concerned look and chuckled looking away feeling the concern for his strange behavior. He quickly set up the roses and added some of each of the oils to the bath, scenting the water as well as the room. He then littered the rose petals over the bed and the bath but stopped testing the temperature with his fingertips, it was cooled enough that one could slip into it without feeling pain, but perhaps too hot, he'd just let Varhen decide once the other elf was there.

"You know, Varhen has trusted you since he spared your life. You've also never betrayed that trust and… to the Fade with it… I do trust you; just tie me up or whatever. I mean I let you… You know and I also… I want to treat Varhen and you. Considering what I was allowed to do last night." The man was blushing so brightly Zevran was sure he could heat the room all on his own. The elf smirked; thanking the Marker Alistair had been able to sense his discomfort and ease it in such a graceful manner. He felt a playful yet predatory side come out and he chuckles the sound coming from deep within his chest.

"Are you certain? Even if that requires me working you up to near the point of breaking, then leaving you tied and gagged as I fetch our lovely Varhen?" Zevran tests the name using it in a way that was no longer casual and had Alistair surprised, although that didn't stop his blush from darkening.

"If I say yes, is that a promise?" Zevran let his eyebrows raise in shock and his grin broadened as he chuckles and runs fingertips over the human's chest, receiving a full body shiver. Oh how easy it was to play with such a virgin, although Alistair was no longer pure, he was far from tainted. It was also true Alistair had sharper wit than he or any of the other's, save Varhen, gave him credit for. Zevran would have to share this fact with Leliana, just to hear the bard's reaction. He smirks remembering how both of them had been around one another at first, both feeling threatened, both untrusting of the other's intentions, though both hid their feelings well the Bard and the Crow.

"Maybe… If you behave." Zevran chuckles and strips the man who surprisingly becomes submissive to Zevran's touch allowing the elf to do as he pleased. He stripped the warrior of his shirt and boots, and ran his hands over the lightly bronzed skin thinking how it glistened with sweat when he was heavily aroused. Zevran left the tight leather pants on Alistair but untied the laces tugging the leather open just a tad, and positioned the man on the center of the bed.

Alistair was on his knees arms bound behind his back and lips parted with his head tilted back as Zevran played with his bare skin. Zevran pulled back took a look at his handy work and smirked as Alistair shot him a pleading look. He pulled out the handkerchief and Alistair obediently parted his lips so the Antivan could gag him. Zevran smirks ties the gag in place and gives the warrior's 'sword' one last stroke before closing the bed's curtains on a soft whimper.

Zevran had managed to get Alistair ready in five minutes the water hadn't cooled that much by then and everything overall had taken two and a half hours, so they'd made good time. He walked over to Varhen's room and knocked slipping in when the other elf's voice gave him permission to enter. Varhen had read a good deal within that time and Zevran knew had not been distracted by everything else since the pages must have taken up all his attention.

"Varhen, I have a surprise for you." Zevran purrs noting Varhen had read the entire time if the considerable amount of pages turned was anything to go by. Varhen reluctantly looks up and places a folded piece of parchment between the pages he's on as a book mark before closing the book and laying it to the side. He begrudgingly pulled on his cloths and the slight wince on his face spoke volumes of how sore he really was. He left his cloak and deerskin pants out as he dressed though going for comfort. Zevran wondered if a healing potion or poultice would help with that but decided not to mention it and instead pulled out a black silk blindfold.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if you saw it too soon." Zevran snickers at the chuckle that escapes Varhen that's trying to cover the uncertainty flashing through the bond. Though Varhen walked over to him and lets him cover his eyes. Varhen feels everything become hyper alert, when Zevran pulled back Varhen could sense him hovering near. Zevran waited a moment for the young man to adjust, then an idea unfurled in his mind. He let a hand run down the cloth covered chest.

Varhen felt it but it was as if his nerves had become acutely aware of everything, the pressure trailing over his chest, the soft feel of the silk rubbing against him were all intensely detailed sensations. He drew in a stuttering breath that sounded like a clap of thunder to his twitching ears and the low chuckle that echoed from his Antivan lover seemed to send shivers through him, oh this was too erotic to be anywhere near an innocent surprise. Suddenly the fingers were gone, but Varhen was bereft of touch only a few moments before Zevran was pressed to his back palms applying firm pressure as they trailed down his chest.

"Think of how it would feel to have Alistair and I worshiping you while you were robbed of your sight and had no idea who was doing what to you. How sensitive you are with one sense muffled and how…" Zevran trailed off as he pressed a kiss to the exposed jaw before he continues one hand cupping the slight bulge in the young Chimera's pants as finally he continues, "Much better it would seem." Zevran snickers as the younger man lets out a soft moan, the cat ears flicking back and forth as Varhen tried to cope.

"Let's show you your treat for reading like a good boy." Zevran snickers at the slight huff of annoyance as the teasing contact was stopped all together and Zevran opened the door guiding Varhen to his rooms. Varhen's nose twitches at the heavy scents filling the room, he could identify rose, Andraste's Grace, vanilla and Lavender, but there was something else, rich while at the same time spicy and like a splash of bright color to his twitching nose. He sneezed not having expected the sudden assault on his nose.

"I forgot how sensitive you are, forgive me." Zevran snickers untying the blindfold, this was good Varhen wouldn't smell Alistair. Varhen gasps at the romantic set up, rose petals and roses floating about and the candles and low fire. He looked at Zevran confused, this wasn't like the Antivan. Normally he would distract Varhen in more physical manners, but a romantic set up like this was strange. Varhen tilted his head one ear tilted back slightly it was an adorable way to show his confusion and Zevran smirked and one hand came up stroking an ear as he lead his Chimera to a the bath.

"I thought you deserved to relax and Alistair helped me with creating a perfect treat for after you have." The seductive purr of the Antivan's voice made Varhen shiver. Varhen looked at the bath and twitched nervously, he had a slight fear of water because he couldn't swim, but a hot bath sounded divine after such a long gap in cleanliness. He had been contemplating asking but there always seemed too much work to do.

"You decided the perfect method for me to relax was to throw me into a scented bath with a low fire roaring in the hearth and roses everywhere… If I did not know better I would say you were being romantic." Varhen grinned at the embarrassment coming softly to him from the Antivan but he knew, or at least hopped, Zevran was attempting to say he loved him. He just chuckled and kissed the Antivan as way of thanks.

"Thank you Zevran. This really does mean a great deal to me that you would do this… But I am unsure if this is a good idea with my wings…" Varhen states sadly. Zevran grins already having thought of that he gently ran his hands over the other elf's back.

"So long as the feathers are not damaged they'll be fine; we'll take care that they are not under too long. Now let's get you in the water before it cools too much." Zevran smiles as Varhen gives in, and begins pulling off his shirt. Zevran unties the pants and pushes them off the pale hips smiling as Varhen is reveled. Varhen gingerly steps into the water and finds it was perfect, not scalding hot but not lukewarm either. So he lowered himself into the water and felt his tense muscles relax when they felt the blanket of warmth. Varhen sighed and leaned his head on the side of the tub purring in contentment, he didn't want to move.

Zevran chuckles as he pulls off his shirt and grabs the vanilla scented soap and wets it. Once he had gotten it wet he began rubbing it over Varhen's skin getting a soft hum from the man he was lavishing with special attention. Once he'd rubbed away the dirt and any other grim clinging to his lovers body he smirked. Varhen was too content and relaxed to feel how intimate some of the touches would have been if he weren't bathing. Zevran grinned at the sign that Varhen was completely relaxed, near drowsy.

It had taken ten minutes to clean the lean form; he wouldn't push this past fifteen. He was worried for the feathers so he went to the next step. He grabbed the rose and cinnamon oil he poured a little of each onto the raven hair and began rubbing it into the locks he then rinsed it by getting Varhen to dunk his head. Though this was done with slight tension on Varhen's part and pulled the reluctant Chimera out of the water. He took a towel and gently dried Varhen's skin and hair.

Varhen was blushing as he allowed Zevran to do this but looked concerned when he felt those hands gently run over his tail. He felt nervous as the pressure increased fearing a painful twist or pull, but Zevran was gentle and Varhen never felt pain. Then Zevran ran the towel over the dampened wings after instructing Varhen to hold them out. Once Varhen was as dry as he could be Zevran smirked and guided him to lay on the couch, doing so Varhen flushed brighter as Zevran brought over a bowl and his three oils.

"Oh come now have I tainted you so much?" Zevran chuckles as the other elf nods the blush darkens but the twitch of the ears showed Varhen's curiosity. Zevran smiles and pours the remaining oil into the bowl being sure the cinnamon and vanilla balance out the rose so Varhen won't come out of this smelling like an old Orlisian woman. He then mixes them with his fingertips and coats his hands with the mixture waiting a moment to let it warm.

"I'm going to give you a full body massage, and then I'm going to show you your surprise and take care of any reaction we encounter. Sounds good, no?" Zevran chuckles as Varhen lets his curiosity flash across the bound, Zevran knew this would be new and so he begins rubbing gently over Varhen's neck before moving down and applying more pressure and Varhen groans in contentment as he feels his muscles relax at the firm touch. He hadn't realized how much tension he had until now. Zevran hums an old Antivan tune as he works lower; he had his needles and ink he could tattoo Varhen if the Dalish let him.

After a while he'd finished the front side and where Varhen was relaxed he hadn't become drowsy and his silver eyes opened at the loss of contact. Zevran encouraged him to roll onto his front without falling off the couch and started on the other side. Though it was different with the wings he just worked around them finding Varhen's moans of praise enticing. Once that was finished Varhen was a purring pile of goo. Zevran smirks loving when his skill was acknowledged like this. He places the bowl on the bed side table, and drew back the bed's curtains loving the shocked gasp he receives from Varhen at seeing a bound Alistair.

"Well, well, it seems Alistair wasn't able to keep calm hearing your praises… Shall we get to it then?" Zevran chuckles at the heated gaze that travels over Alistair then locks with his own. Alistair was a flushed mess, squirming lightly teeth clenching around the gag as Varhen looked him over. He didn't need the bond to know Varhen wanted both Zevran and him badly.

Varhen moves with the same grace as a cat and his eyes shine with a predatory light as he comes closer becoming reluctant as he gets to the bed his sensual side fleeing. Varhen wasn't comfortable taking command in intimate affairs like this, unless he was drunk apparently. Zevran moves behind him and wraps his arms around Varhen's waist. Varhen relaxes slightly but doesn't know how to respond to one bound and gagged lover in front of him and one with wandering hands at his back.

"Zevran you know I am not very domineering in these affairs. I have no idea what to do with a bound and gagged lover…" Varhen stopped with a gasp and flushed when Zevran let a warm slightly oil slicked palm run down his chest stopping just above his hip. Varhen's head dropped back and he found himself relaxing into the Antivan as those wicked lips wrapped around the tip of his twitching ear.

"I'm sure you can at least imagine what can be done with him, amato? I'm certain I've tainted you that much." Zevran chuckles at the shiver his suggestive tone brought. He let his hand slide down pale skin and gently rubs circles into a hip. Varhen had exposed his neck and ears to the very lips filling his mind with lewd images and he groaned wanting more than the teasing touches. Alistair watched becoming almost pained by his need. Oh dear Maker these elves would be his end.

"I can only imagine… What is going on in your mind when presented with the same sight?" Varhen retorts playfully but his question earns him a lazy stroke. Varhen gasps hands twitching and Zevran encouraged one pale hand to come up and rest over the tanned hand stroking lazily. Varhen feeling slightly more confident encourages Zevran to continue.

"Oh plenty, like you letting me take you while our Chantry boy watches with no option but to sit with no chance of pleasing himself… You riding him as I pound into his sweet ass. I have so many idea's but it is your night Varhen, so what do you want?" That sinful voice caressing his ear sent shivers through him, Varhen bucked into their hands a whimper leaving his lips. He wanted Zevran to stop being evil and take the control Varhen gave to him when they met privately like this.

"I want you to take me, rough and hard, tie me down pushing me to my limits, and then I do not know… But the day is young." Varhen's voice was laced with desire and Alistair saw the slight shock on Varhen's face from the words that had flown from his lips. Alistair was dear to him but Varhen had only ever told Zevran the dark bits of his past and so the sudden surprise and rush of jumbled emotions coming from both elves confused Alistair to no end. He didn't like the fact that his elves were so confused and squirmed growling slightly.

"It… It is fine Alistair." Varhen murmurs feeling among his confusion Alistair's concern and protectiveness and warming at the gesture. Zevran felt the same and sighs pulling their hands away from Varhen's need smirking only slightly at the whimper of loss before moving so he stood before his heart.

"Amato, are you certain? This may bring back painful memories." Zevran was slightly out of breath but the trust Varhen was placing on him with this request had him shaking and he knelt before his lover trying hard to contain his shaking. Varhen had been through many hells, some of which Zevran had lived as well, but Varhen was not a Crow, was not trained to shut down his emotions which made coping with the trails easier. Varhen felt a flutter from Zevran's concern and smiled he lowered himself to his knees before Zevran as Alistair watched feeling the concern and trust and sincere love that made his own heart swell and feel tender and huge in his chest.

"There is no room for uncertainty when I am with you, that same trust extends to Alistair now… But you are the one who knows all if not most of my darkest secrets, I would not object to allowing you complete and utter control. I have let you do so before I can do so again." As Varhen said this he took Zevran's shaking hands in his and kissed the assassin tenderly. He feared he might push the assassin away but pushed that fear down, they were far passed that. He let go of the tanned hands as he pulled back and cupped his lover's face trying to convey how much he wanted what he asked.

"Besides, I know you hold back Zevran, I want you to let go, I want to trust you completely, body as well as mind and soul." The last sentence left him as he leaned forward and sealed his promise with a kiss. He had never told Zevran but he had remembered every moment in the Beyond, where parts were disjointed the end was burned into his memory. Zevran let his arms wrap around Varhen as he felt something stronger than what they had originally had fill the nonexistent space between them. He saw in his mind himself as Varhen and him embraced in the Fade, the way he'd looked to Varhen; concerned and tired.

He was splattered with blood and yet he felt Varhen look at him with that deep adoration and heard a mental whisper of beautiful, and realized this was Varhen's memory, he was now completely open to the other and vice versa, but instead of this scaring him he felt at ease, he trusted and loved Varhen. There was no room for doubt when he was like this with him.

"Let me show you how far I can take your pleasure." Zevran states voice rough with emotion as he pulled back, Varhen nods and stays knelt as Zevran rises. He was at the Antivan's mercy. Alistair watched with slight nervousness eating at him he felt incredibly aroused by the scene playing out but felt like he was in the way. Zevran realized Varhen had turned the tables around on him, and vowed revenge; he'd make the young elf scream his name as many times as he could until Varhen couldn't take anymore and fainted.

"I am at your mercy." Varhen whispers flicking a knowing glance Alistair's way, he knew the other felt in the way and he flashed a mental image of him sucking Alistair off as he was pounded into by Zevran to the Antivan. An almost purr came from the assassin in reply to the lurid suggestion. It was a good place to start. He let his hand cup Varhen's cheek and the purr he received as those silver eyes slipped closed and the pale man leaned into the touch made him ache for those lips to be wrapped around him, but Varhen wanted rough.

"Get on the bed, Varhen, and un-gag Alistair, it would be cruel to force him to remain silent with what is about to happen." Zevran's voice was a low seductive purr filled with promises of untold pleasure. Varhen did as told quickly but with the grace that he'd possessed since Zevran had first lain eyes on him. Once the gag was removed Alistair took a deep breath trying to steady himself from the emotions still tearing through him, after this he would need to ask what secrets Varhen referred to, they inspired so much emotion; it was almost painful. He knew so little about his dear Brother-In-Arms turned lover's past.

"Varhen, are you two alright?" Alistair asks the emotions he'd felt had settled to love, concern, trust, and lust. Varhen blushes and nods knowing he wasn't exactly completely open to Alistair and that meant he couldn't just show Alistair why this had affected both Zevran and him so much. Though that didn't stop the memories from flitting through his mind.

"We are alright Alistair, I promise to tell you why my offer affected us so, but not now." Varhen felt mischief pull at him as he pet the strong chest careful to keep to the pads of his fingers so as to not scratch the warrior. He leaned down nipping at the man's collar bone near the hollow of his throat. He flicked his tongue into the hollow grinning at Alistair's soft groan. He coaxed Alistair back so he was leaning against the head board with his legs out from under him Varhen was on his hands and knees before him purring with a grin on his lips as he looked his brother over. He had one knee on the other side of one of Alistair's legs while the other was close to the man's cloth covered groin.

"Varhen you naughty boy, you'll get Alistair too worked up before the real show begins." Zevran purrs trailing oiled fingers over Varhen's lower back tracing his spine to the cleft of his pert backside, sliding around the tail. Varhen made a soft noise his hands faltering in their path down Alistair's chest as he dropped his head his long hair pooling on Alistair's abdomen gently tickling the hard muscles. Alistair groaned as Varhen pulled his hands off his chest resting them on the warrior's broad shoulders.

"How do you want me?" Varhen asks turning his head to look at Zevran blushing furiously at asking such a thing. Zevran smirks running his hands down the back of a twitching thigh then moving to the inside getting Varhen to drop his head with a gasp. Alistair groaned as yet again the long dark hair pooled against his skin feeling cool to his overheated body. Varhen made a soft noise somewhere between a groan and sigh as Zevran's oiled fingers newly coated returned to his entrance.

"I want you on your hands and knees pleasuring Alistair while I pleasure us." Zevran purred grinning as this earns two gasps. Even if Varhen knew in advance the verbal command still caught him off guard and aroused him with the resulting image. Alistair felt the idea stir his interest and flushed as Varhen pulled his pants lower and began teasing.

Varhen lowered himself to his elbows and licked from root to tip of the Ex-Templar's arousal. Alistair groaned and tried to keep from bucking his hips letting his head fall back as he moaned when Varhen kissed the tip, the elf was so getting pounded once he got untied! Varhen suddenly stopped letting out a gasp as Zevran chose to slip in one finger and rub his sweet spot.

Alistair lifted his head and couldn't hold back his moan. He saw Zevran on his knees one hand rubbing soothing circles in a pale hip and the other plundered Varhen's core. Alistair could also see Varhen's pleasured face before the other suddenly swallow him whole. Alistair made a strangled noise unable to look away as Varhen stopped teasing and took him to the root. Varhen's eyes slipped closed as he tried concentrating on giving Alistair pleasure as well. Alistair would jerk slightly and moan when Varhen would moan around his shaft when Zevran tapped his sweet spot.

Zevran watched Varhen tease before he pushed one finger passed the surprisingly tight entrance. He watched Alistair twitch and groan when Varhen finally started sucking him off, and then smirked when the other would moan and jerk slightly when Varhen would moan around his shaft when his prostate was tapped. Zevran had to admit Varhen's idea had turned out wonderfully. He added a second finger and felt Varhen tense and heard the soft whine, and he slowed his pace waiting and withdrawing his fingers to add extra oil to help his sore lover.

Varhen pulled back from Alistair a moment moaning softly as the pain faded he looked over his shoulder wanting Zevran to continue. He had not meant to let the pained noise out, but it was to be expected with what had happened the night before. He moaned in ecstasy when Zevran eased two fingers back into him, through the pace had slowed so Varhen went back to playing with Alistair.

Alistair groaned bucking into the teases and earning amused chuckles. He growled in frustration, these two were evil, until Zevran was in this position he had no right to be amused, Varhen, well, Varhen was Varhen. He couldn't stay mad or even remotely angry at the lovely elf. Varhen grins feeling the other's slight indignation and annoyance aimed at Zevran. He blew on the warrior's groin snickering when Alistair groaned as if in pain. He groaned in turn when Zevran added a third finger suddenly quickening his pace, keeping his submitting lover on the verge of almost too much pain to cope and Varhen was slightly shocked by how much he was enjoying the painful pleasure. He began doing as he had first been instructed.

"Varhen… Do you want me to take you like this? Or with you tied to the beams above the bed?" Zevran's offer had Varhen moaning which in turn made Alistair cum. The Ex-Templar was a shivering mess, and Varhen was blushing scarlet when he pulled away, wiping at his lips with a hand. He looked at Zevran and the Antivan was pleased to see interest in the silver eyes. Varhen liked the idea far more than he should have,

"Tie me up. You know I trust you with my body." Varhen purrs blushing slightly as he feels Zevran's free hand curl over his hip his long fingers rubbing just shy of his aching shaft. He whimpered, oh he was going to die by the end of this, whether from pleasure or the ache he felt he had no idea. Zevran kissed the side of the pale throat and stopped teasing stroking his lover's twitching cock. Varhen gasped then moaned as the shock of the touch wore off. He whimpered as Zevran stopped and ran a strip of leather over one of his wrists.

"Zev…" It was a soft call of impatience, and Zevran answered it with a chuckle. He tied the wrists together before guiding Varhen to rise up on his knees so he could tie them to the overhead beam. Varhen took deep calm breaths to keep from whimpering as wisps from his past surface. However, he need not worry as past chills are chased away by the fire of his lover's touch. He gasped as Zevran's oiled fingers entered him again as if to make certain he was fine. Varhen lets his head drop forward and lets go letting every little gasp and moan that tightened his chest out.

"That's it, amore, just like that." Zevran hummed as he stops playing with his lover and goes to slick his cock, he grins as he pressed against the lithe back and slowly sheathed himself. Varhen gasped and blinked at the slight pain but relaxed knowing it would get better. He shivered as Zevran begins to run his hands over his body, working to relax him. It worked, soon Varhen was completely limp in his restraints.

"Zevran, I can take it." Varhen murmured trying hard not to squirm in the binds. Zevran grins and starts slow it was just rough enough to keep Varhen in the slightest bit of pain. Varhen was shaking with bliss and was giving his lover the kind of noises that encouraged him to go harder. Zevran grinned over the pale shoulder of the quivering chimera in his arms at Alistair who was bound and unable to do anything to please himself or do anything to help Varhen.

"This kind of pleasure, Alistair, is what you can give to Varhen. Do you want to give him this?" Zevran purrs getting a whimper from Varhen as he twisted and pinched the rosy nipples of his lover, who was quivering in his binds as Zevran teased Alistair. He had stopped moving

"Zevran, stop teasing Alistair and fuck me, please!" That shocked Zevran who grinned as a soft chuckle left him. If Varhen wanted to play that way… His hands slid down the firm chest to the slim hips as he kissed the up turned jaw before pulling back and slamming back into his lover getting a sharp cry from the pale elf who was now completely shaking as Zevran continued the fast and rough pace. Varhen had wanted him to let go after all, so Varhen was practically screaming, though it was all for pleasure. Alistair felt himself grow painfully hard as he watched Varhen get ravaged so roughly, and yet enjoy it, it was a turn on to see Zevran completely lost to his pleasure, and Varhen almost looked as if his pleasure bordered on agony.

"I want you to cum from nothing more than me pounding into you. Just me and nothing more." Zevran growls biting the tensed shoulder hard getting Varhen to jerk and moan in pained bliss. He arched against Zevran's almost violent movements. He could only moan and whimper for more, his wings arching out occasionally beating and sending a draft through the room causing the fire and candle flames to dance. Zevran loved it; the way Varhen was submitting to him was perfect!

"Zev, harder!" Varhen panted feeling himself on the verge, he just needed more, and he knew Zevran hadn't quite let go. Zevran couldn't hold back anymore, hearing his lover moan for more he let go his movements becoming harsh though still in rhythm. Varhen gave in and didn't bother straining to meet his lover just went limp and let him have complete control. Zevran lost anything he'd held onto and scratched the pale sides as his hands curled becoming claws as he raked them down to the slim waist, he wrapped a hand around the shivering chimera and began stroking him.

"Zevran!" Varhen cried his body becoming truly limp as he came in short hard bursts over the tanned hand wrapped around him he could only twitch with the waves of bliss that rushed through him after his orgasm. Zevran felt it all end the moment Varhen cried out for him, he hadn't been able to hold back and had bitten into his lover's shoulder as he himself unraveled and came. The bite was hard enough to draw blood, but like the last time Zevran had marked him Varhen felt a blast of bliss and with how sensitive he was he wound up spilling himself again with a breathless gasp.

"I… Varhen are you alright?" Zevran asks pulling back to taste copper and see the angry red lines down the pale sides. Varhen gave a half conscious hum of affirmative, too exhausted to complain when that had been what he'd been wanting for a while. He was surprised he could enjoy pain, and yet he gasped as his hands were untied and the stings from his wrists from rope burn and in his sides, shoulder and ass sent faint fingers of bliss up his spin.

"F-fine… That was amazing Zev… I think you might have completely obliterated my brain though." Varhen admits as his wings relaxed to fold loosely along his sides. Zevran smirked feeling the stroke to his ego. Varhen was shivering with remnants of his earlier bliss, he took a few steadying breaths until he could sit still. Then looked back to see Zevran shivering with aftershocks, he wondered how Alistair saw this then looked back at the flushed man, still rock hard and needy.

"You two are evil." Alistair rumbles voice rough with arousal, and sending shivers through Varhen, who grinned. He knew he could take a little more before he just wanted to pass out. He crawled closer to Alistair despite the sting and kissed the ex-Templar, moaning as Alistair took control and made Varhen want to let the man do as he pleased.

"He's been a good boy… I suppose we can untie him." Zevran states playfully as he stands slightly shaky as he moves to sit next to the Chantry boy and unties him and watches as those large calloused hands explore Varhen, finding the spots that made the Chimera blush and unravel that much faster. Varhen pulled back and moved so he was on his back he knew Alistair would maybe have pushed but the Ex-Templar was still too shy towards the whole idea of sex.

"Alistair, take me. Please?" Varhen purrs looking a combination between innocent and wanting. The same way an utter virgin might look if not for the fact Varhen had red marks on his wrists and sides, as well as the bite mark on his shoulder. Alistair shot an uncertain questioning look to Zevran who snickered and gestured him to go on.

"Go on. He is yours as well as mine Alistair." Zevran had to push himself to say the name but the two smiles he's awarded are worth it. Varhen's smile is a soft thankful one, the kind he reserved only for his friends, which meant it was only seen at camp sadly. Alistair's was that grin that would remind everyone of an ecstatic child and was normally only directed at Varhen. Zevran wanted to look away, he wasn't sure what to do, instead he gave them his own smile, one only Varhen had seen, just a soft turn of the lips, close to his signature smirk but softer; his real smile.

Alistair's eyes widen in surprise then his grin is back as he turned back to Varhen. Who was now squirming because Zevran was looking over him with a leer. Alistair was slightly hesitant but moved over Varhen hand trailing down the pale body getting a shiver of delight. Varhen was almost tempted to just push Alistair onto his back and ride him, but held back and let Alistair explore him. It was pretty nice actually. Alistair was finding all his sensitive spots and Varhen was squirming soon after it all began impatient with the play but trying not to let Alistair down.

"His ears were sensitive I haven't had much a chance to explore them again however." Zevran supplies grinning as Alistair eyes the twitching appendages a moment before gently nipping the tip of one. Varhen reacted like he had when he'd just had elf ears. He whimpered and bucked and turned his head to allow better access. Alistair pulled back looked for the oil thankful when Zevran helpfully offered the bowl to him. Alistair swallowed thickly as he took the bowl and set it near him he was half sure on what to do; he remembered most of the previous night.

Coating his fingers liberally Alistair pressed one finger into Varhen grinning as Varhen squirmed whimpering for more. Alistair was slow and thorough and Varhen's whole form quivered by the time Alistair had removed his fingers to oil his cock. Zevran watched a smirk on his lips as he watched Varhen clutch at Alistair's shoulders when the man was finally buried to the hilt. Varhen had lost himself and begun murmuring in Dalish, his accent coming out thick, and arousing both of the hunter's bed partners.

"Move, he's fine that is an expression of bliss, amato. Trust me you'd know if he wasn't enjoying this." Zevran chuckles as Alistair reluctantly starts thrusting trying to be slow, but Varhen didn't want him to treat him gingerly. Varhen was fine with soft and gentle but he also wanted Alistair to enjoy this, and not be so obviously concerned about how ok he was.

"A-Alistair, I'm fine, take your pleasure, by the Creators your giving me plenty." Varhen murmured reassuringly face flushed as he fought to say this without moaning or letting out a pleasured noise. He would never deny this was wonderful, but he could tell Alistair was more focused on controlling himself rather than letting go. Alistair seemed ready to protest and Varhen just sighed and kissed him as he rolled them over so he was on top. He quickened the pace and flashed a grin as Alistair gave in more and thrust up harder getting Varhen to let out a yelp of pleasure. Varhen grinned down at Alistair and stilled wanting his warrior to sit up which Alistair did.

Varhen shot a look to Zevran and whispered something to Alistair Zevran knew the elf was being mischievous that was not questioned, Varhen had managed not to show Zevran his thoughts and so what he planned was unknown. Then Alistair leaned back resting his weight on his arms he had a soft grin on him as well. Varhen leaned in closer and began fucking himself in Alistair's lap and Zevran felt himself stir as he watched the way Varhen started to lose himself as he moved against the ex-Templar.

Varhen definitely liked being watched, Zevran deduced. He grinned as he made sure to push forward to Varhen the image he made. Varhen flushed as his movements became a bit more desperate. He looked at Alistair with a begging look and the Templar knew he was asking him to fuck him. Alistair rolled them back so he was on top and sped up. Varhen gave in he moaned content with a fast if gentle pace. He kissed Alistair his wings ruffled with his desire and his tail wrapped around the warrior's thigh. The pleasure Zevran felt in his little griffin grew until Varhen cried out body arching as his hands curled in short blond hair. Alistair gave in and groaned his lover's name as he too came. Varhen felt sated, and purred as Alistair pulled away, Varhen looked to Zevran but the Antivan was once again clothed.

"You are a vision to behold." Zevran says softly grinning at Varhen's blush. After a quick clean up everyone was dressed and Varhen was blushing as he was again treated by both his mates to wine and some fruit. Varhen wound up curled between the two the wine putting him to an easy sleep. Zevran thought about the next day and how prepared they were. The lands meet was on the next day and it unsettled Zevran to think of the decisions Varhen would possibly face. He sighed it was still early enough, Varhen would wake up and they'd go and probably run about the city searching for some trouble.

Later the foreboding proved true. When Varhen woke up they went and wound up rooting out a nest of blood mages. It was to say mildly, a challenge. Varhen had been nearly hit in the back several times as he darted about disabling trap after trap. Zevran had taken to sticking near his lover. Varhen was in awe as he noticed he could take in magic sent at him. It had a strange effect on him, like he was on an equivalent of a mages' lyrium high. He was purring and everyone could see he drifted slightly toward Zevran now and then but struggled to stay aware. He was constantly shaking his head and blinking away a daze.

"There's a blood mage ahead… There's these red ripples occasionally… Ugh, my head is spinning. Is this how you feel on a lyrium high?" Varhen asks Wynne as she checked him over and was surprised. She wondered if Varhen might be what was called a syphon, a rare type of magic user that could absorb magic and then use it. Demons feared them, and sprits were ever curious of them, as were other mages.

"You have a great deal of magic running through you so I would guess it is similar… Try to concentrate close your eyes and cup your hands together." Wynne says waiting until this was done. Varhen focused himself feeling everything go from a haze to a sharp and clear energy waiting to be loosed. Wynne noticing Varhen's clarity by the flick of the ears as they were now up and alert the tail had even stopped it's lazy curls.

"Now, think of fire between your hands a small blaze, no larger than a candle's flame. When you have that image clear in your mind open your eyes." She states this and immediately a small flame flickers into being between Varhen's hands, for a time it is unsteady, it varied in size before becoming a steady candle sized flame. Varhen opened his eyes and grinned it clicking into place.

"The book spoke of this, I was just getting to a section speaking of a rare traits a chimera can have. One is the ability to absorb and use magic, it makes it difficult for mages to kill us. Though evidently anything else is open for experiment." Varhen bit out the last part ears flattening as he recalled the color around his neck. The flame flared a moment and in an instant Varhen focused drawing in a sharp breath as he realized he had a flame in his hands. Easily Varhen regained control and the flame became candle like again. Varhen wondered for a moment and flexed his hands as if letting go and the flame flickered out.

"That was better than any apprentice I've ever seen. You did wonderfully." Wynne states smiling and Varhen smiled uneasily in turn. His clan called people like him 'Magics of the Earth'. Meaning they were born with the affinity to use magic as the world does. Varhen closed his eyes at the thoughts of home. It hurt to think of it, that he was a myth, a legend and had no one else like him to help him. At least he had a book, he thinks bitterly. Varhen took a deep breath and as he let it out a frost appeared over him.

"Wonderful, my magic has a sense of humor." Varhen sighs, it is near enough to a sneer it worried the other three. Varhen let out another deep breath and a thin layer of ice had formed, but what was suddenly amusing was the fact it was forming like armor. Varhen just gave a tired chuckle as he tried to stop instead it only helped form the armor further. Varhen by the end had just given up and walked on with a growl of annoyance.

The icy armor was elegant and covered the robe giving the cloth a chainmail like quality and spikes along where the robe fitted tightly like along Varhen's spine and shoulders, as well as gauntlets that made him seem to have wicked claws. His boots also were now spiked along the sides and had a talon like quality on the toe. Varhen had noticed there were spikes at joint points and knew if he was pressed could do some devastating hand to hand combat with this. He also noticed he didn't feel cold but the others made sure to keep some distance.

"In this room, that's where the leader is… He's powerful." Varhen notes looking rather uneasy, he had had the same hesitation with the last blood mage, and it had wound up being very justified. He took a deep breath drew Revas and opened the door.

"I have no idea how you survived thus far, is it luck or providence? No matter because you won't survive this!" The, very likely leader, Blood Mage shouts and suddenly two more men in armor suits and two other mages appeared and of course attacked them. Varhen went directly for the most powerful Blood Mage, fearing something might happen if the mage realized what he was. He concentrated and threw out his open hand an ice shard flew at the mage who barely stumbled out of the way, and Varhen used the opening to get close and quickly end the mage as he first landed a blow to the Mage's chest then spun and opened his throat and ended it with a stab through the man's heart. He quickly helped dispatch the other mages noticing as he got close they struggled to cast, blood magic or not.

"That's interesting…" Varhen noted aloud as he looted the bodies. He was confused, so the frosty armor acted like some kind of disturbance to a mage's mana, because Wynne as well had struggled when Varhen got too close. Varhen sighed and glared at the floor a while as he tried to concentrate on getting rid of the armor. He finally just let out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm not hiding down here anymore!" Varhen growls and walks to the ladder, surprised when the armor slowly seemed to melt away. Shaking his head he went up the ladder. They patrolled around and Varhen helped everyone he could. Zevran felt an affection worm into him watching as Varhen would stop and speak with random people and help if he could. He even went back to the Alienage. Zevran grew tense as Varhen checked on those they had helped previously.

Many elves looked at him wryly and Varhen noticed quickly becoming depressed as he made sure those he'd saved were well as they could be with sickness hanging so heavily in the place. Varhen still hatted the smell. He sighed and found the house the girl from the hospice lived. He checked in on her quickly before leaving and going back to the Arl's mansion. He paced restlessly in his rooms, waiting for the sunset and feeling himself become wound up about the next day.

"It has all lead up to this. The Landsmeet. I do not want it to be this way… I wish we could have simply revealed him and taken him down without all the publicity. I dislike all the attention this will bring." Varhen groans rubbing his face as he walks around in frustrated circles. Zevran watches with Alistair both amused by how someone so very well equipped, if not used to, for political meetings like these was so worked up by it all. Alistair felt nervous though. It was obvious.

After Varhen did some laps and such they turned in. Varhen was thoroughly exhausted. He curled between his mates hardly remembering to take off most of the robes. They would check on the armor from Wade then he would take a small party to Landsmeet. Varhen dreamed of the possibilities while Alistair dreamed of what he feared would be their final day, and Zevran dreamed of nothing. He had pushed all thoughts from his head.

A/N: So I guess it was a good place to stop and well I have a great opener for next chap so… Yeah. Any way. I hope you guy's are enjoying Varhen thus far, I'm thinking of going back and adding more content. Like starting him in Ostagar and all that. If you want that tell me in your reviews and such.


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